Thanksgiving!

Be comforted dear soul! There is always light behind the clouds.

~Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

Thanksgiving is a day of thanks, a day of praise, a day of gratitude for the fortunate. Who is fortunate? Is it the rich person? Perhaps the one with a roof over the head? Or is it purely existence?  Is the fortunate one the person present living? It's different for everyone. My fortunate is the ability to stay present—in the now—and give thanks and praise. Present living was not always a possibility for me in the past, but now, living in this moment befriends me. Of course it's not always so easy when life is filled with trials and tribulations. 

Is there always a light behind the clouds?

Can you sit still on this day of Thanksgiving and connect to the present even if there’s a dark cloud over you? Have you ever tried to stay quiet in the mind driven by gratitude? It's pure heaven. The mind always wants to think about what needs to be done next or what we already did. It's not so easy to focus on the here and now and bask in grace and gratitude when daily worries distract you from the abundance that is yours. Mortgage payments, troublesome spouses, out of control children, roofs leaking, a headache, even sour milk can interfere with your gratitude on this day of Thanksgiving, but your Higher Source (Whomever you turn to—God, Jesus, Sun, Energy, etc.) during challenging times showers continuous blessings and love down on you.

What makes me fixed on staying present when chaos surrounds me is deep breathing my way to calm—the present moment. Like you, many of my loved ones are not here on this day of giving thanks, they died or live in another state but they remain in my heart, which encourages me to sit still in gratitude for what I have in the here and now.

I took a long luxurious bike ride this morning along the Inter-coastal and Atlantic ocean with the most spectacular view before me side by side with one of my sons. As we pedaled our way up the bridge we witnessed the sun peak out over the purple/orange backdrop on the ocean shoreline breathing in the sea air.  My legs are strong and my energy abound. My bike moves with me as if we are one. A new day is about to begin. I am in the now—present.

Thanksgiving was not always a time for me to sit in gratitude. I’m a recovering food addict, and in the past, today marked the eating frenzy that launched my holiday eating. Actually, truth be told, that’s not true,  my out of control food fest began from Halloween until January 1 when I’d make my New Year’s resolution. On Thanksgiving day I’d until I could eat no more—until the food was all the way up to the rim of my throat and my pants cut into my bulging stomach—promising I’d diet come Monday. And Monday never came.

I am an addict addicted to processed foods and this holiday for most food addicts is lethal because there is no end to the eating or at least until we are so full the pain is greater than the need for that one more bite.

Food addiction is a loss of control over eating coupled with the physiological tolerance and psychological dependence that occurs when a specific stimulus (food) is ingested. Typically, this addiction can result in negative consequences for basic life functions and relationships with family; social situations; intimate relationships; the sufferers relationship God and spiritual development; or in relation to the law, health, and work life.

Early in childhood I was fixated on sugar—never getting enough and going to great extremes to obtain it: stealing, hiding and hoarding. Although I didn’t have an awareness of food addiction, I knew something was wrong. In hindsight, I realize I ate out of control and bargained with myself and God to stop—after this one last pastry. I felt shame if I got caught stealing food or money to buy food; yet, I didn’t have the mentality to understand I was compulsive eating until my adolescent years when weight began to pile on. And even then I didn’t know there was an actual eating disorder called, binge eating disorder—and that I had it.

What I did know was my friends ate when they were hungry and stopped when they had enough and didn’t hide or sneak their foods nor had shame. Food addicts have a severe and ongoing disturbance in the manner in which they handle food. The depiction of addiction to food resembles the hallmarks of any addiction. The food addict is caught in the grip of a compulsive, habitual behavior that can’t be controlled.

The binge eater begins eating when she didn’t plan to and can’t stop eating when she wants to. Addiction is the persistent and repetitive enactment of a behavioral pattern the person recurrently fails to resist and that consequently leads to significant physical, psychological, social, legal, or other major life problems. Loss of control over eating and obesity produce changes in the brain, which is similar to those produced by drugs of abuse.

Today I practice mindfulness. The dictionary defines mindfulness as calm awareness of one's body functions, feelings, content of consciousness, or consciousness itself. I am totally conscious of my fingers dancing over the keys putting words together. I am told mindfulness is the path to liberation and enlightenment. It is the intense purpose of staying in the now. I get this. 
 

So, today I am present. I refuse to think about what needs to be done next or what I already did. I am present with each breath in and out. I am present to the sounds of birds singing and the whispers of the wind as it folds through the palm trees out my window. I am here and now. What makes me fixed on staying present is is the peace and tranquility it brings. And of course the whiff of turkey baking in the oven doesnt' hurt! 

Photos by:  Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Defining Moments

"It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves."
~Sir Edmund Hillary

I awakened to the sound of the phone—ring after ring—I just want it to stop. I pulled the pillow over my ears and hunkered down deeper into the mattress, but it droned on and on beckoning me to answer.

Barely awake, I glanced at the clock noting it was 4:00 in the morning. I stumbled as I made my way to the kitchen to learn who was on the other end of the phone.

I pressed the cold receiver to my ear and with great trepidation  answered, "Hello." My father's panic voice blurted out,  "It’s your Mom—she had a stroke! The paramedics are here. I don’t know what to do, they say they have a shot they can give her but I have to know the exact time she had her stroke. If  they give her the shot too soon or too late it will kill her."

 The room swirled as I tried to grasp what he was saying.  I stammered something back, but to this day I don't know what I said in response. After we hung up, I recall I stood dazed and paralyzed in fear for what seemed like hours staring at the phone back in it's cradle, not certain what to do. 

A defining moment— my life would never be the same.

The dreaded call was Saturday morning, the eve of Easter back in 1998. Could it be only eight hours before I was skating with such glee with my eight year old son Benjamin and collided and tumbled to the ground only to rise laughing it off twirling under the stars smiling and thanking God for what a glorious life I was living. I practiced as a clinical psychotherapist and was soon to marry my prince, living in my dream house the perfect life. And now, mom was faced with life or death. How quickly my world was turned upside down.

Driving bleary eyed, as the tears tumbled down my cheeks, I dialed patient after patient to cancel my Saturday schedule, while trying to keep my eyes and car on the road as I headed to the hospital four hours away to accompany my Dad in what was one of the saddest and most difficult moments of our lives.

We sat in the intensive care unit, each in our individual silent prayer, only interrupted with periodic conversation and sobs of disbelief. The neurologist tarnished any hope we mustered up when he inhumanely blurted out she would never walk again and guaranteed she'd endure a continuous down turn for the remaining days of her life.

Dad lowered his head into his hands shaking it back and forth mumbling, barely audible, "No, this can't be, not again," as he questioned his decision to not give mom the shot earlier this morning with the paramedics. He raised his head up slowly from his hands and he recounted one of his defining moments when his mom clung for her life nearly 50 years earlier in intensive care, and he, the oldest son, needed to translate from Italian to English and back from the doctors to his family. He made serious decisions then and serious decisions now both intertwined and played over and over in his mind.

His mom died.

He never got past his guilt and grief. And now he was faced with his wife of nearly a half of a century facing the end of her life as they both knew it.

Mom was obese, she picked up a  cigarette habit in her fifties, and didn’t exercise and favored high fat foods all contributing to  her situation she now faced.

I pulled my chair up as close to mom as I could, without climbing in the bed with her, and held her limp had in mine. I always admired her tiny dainty hands and feet. I watched her struggle to take one shallow breath then pause and exhale and repeat—the oxygen machine swishing in the background —her eyes closed—slipping further and further away.

There I sat inhaling the  nauseating  smell of bleached sheets mixed with  rubbing alcohol as I pulled the spare blanket from the foot of the bed around my shoulders—teeth chattering from the cool temperature to ward off germs—when my attention went to my left leg throbbing. For a brief moment my mind moved from mom to my left leg. I startled when  I saw what I thought was a teeny scratch from a fall I had taken and brushed off  the night before while skating with Benjamin—it oozed with infection. I hadn't realized it was worse than I thought merely a few hours ago. Again, I pushed it out of my mind and made a life changing decision.

It was instant, at that moment, I vowed to bump up my mission to help eating disordered and addicted patients to recovery. For the rest of my life I'd give of my heart and soul to find answers and direction for those in the same space as my mother who couldn't conquer obesity. I promised to God then and there that I'd share and teach how I learned to let go of my once obese body, eat free of sugar, flour, and wheat, and lean on spiritual recovery.

I couldn’t save mom but I darn sure could share what I know with those who still had a chance to turn their lives around.

Mom died at 67 years old. She lived four more years after her stroke completely paralyzed. Those days were very good times and very bad times all rolled into one.



Now, on the Eve of every Easter I bow my head in remembrance of the early morning call over 13 years ago— when my life turned a new direction—a defining moment. I'm not saying eating free of sugar, flour, and wheat is easy but death or paralysisis is certainly worse.

Life is brief—live now, laugh now, and pray now. 

http://weightcontroltherapy.com/

Photos Taken by Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

I Was On the Oprah Show—Almost!

Okay, so I wasn't on Oprah, and perhaps almost was only from my perspective. The show was on persons who lost over 100 pounds and kept it off and of course were inspired by Oprah. I got close to being chosen but my mistake was not pinpointing a specific Oprah show that inspired me.

I had trouble picking a show because ALL of Oprah's shows motivated me  in one way or another. I watched her from back in the early Chicago days on AM Chicago when I was struggling financially, physically, and emotionally. Often I only had a few dollars to my name and barely enough money to fill my gas tank and yet I never found it difficult to binge eat. Hmmm, an addict—food in my case—always finds money for the substance one way or another.

When the Chicago brutally cold winters became more than I could stand, I moved to Florida—very saddened at the idea of not watching AM Chicago which Oprah hosted. But, as luck would have it, the Oprah Show was syndicated a few months after I moved (September 8, 1986) and one day before my birthday day on September 9, 1986. What a gift!

A few years back I dragged my sister Christy to Oprah's store in Chicago to purchase something from Oprah's closet. My sister didn't "get" why I had to have a piece of Oprah's personal wardrobe in my closet. She thought I wanted to wear it—but of course I wanted it authentic—untouched by my body. So, in my closet hangs an Oprah shirt, and not just any old shirt. It's a Richard Metzgar crisp white cotton shirt with bell sleeves that fan out at the bottom.

And of course while I was in Oprah's store I purchased an O baseball cap, magnets with her slogans of motivation for my refrigerators and I snapped a gazillion pictures of Harpo's buildings.

Yes, no doubt Oprah has inspired me, not only in weight loss success but in all of my successes, even though I couldn't pick a particular show.

So, what does this have to do with almost being on Oprah's show—or anything for that matter.  Although I failed to mention what particular show inspired me, which cost me the chance to appear as a guest on Oprah's show, it didn't stop me from reflecting on how far I've come in understanding my food addiction and helping scores of others find answers and direction to their eating disorders.

No doubt, Oprah has been a mentor to me from back in the days when I was a young woman who branched out alone from a small town in Wautoma Wisconsin back to my roots in Chicago, Illinois at the age of 21, without any degrees or money in my pocket and made my way through college, master's degree and a doctorate degree. I had tons of student loans to carry me through my dreams and to date I am happy to report I'm debt free because I learned to respect myself and my money. Yes, I learned this from many of Oprah's shows.

I always felt (and feel) each step towards growth Oprah made I did too—even with weight going up and weight going down. I, like Oprah, had a best friend Yvonne, who I cherished and still do. She died in 1997 in her sleep. Watching Oprah helped me through the most trying loss I had ever had at that time.

Prayer, meditation, intentions, intention map were tools I learned years back from Oprah's shows—with the intent to go on Oprah.

Dr. Wayne Dyer, in Excuses Begone! states, "...when you engage in the act of active contemplation, you set in motion a powerful force—you allow yourself to be lived by the great universal mind or Tao (p.103). In other words when you set the process of creation into action, what you contemplated comes to fruition.

The day the show I almost was on aired my heart ached with anticipation as it began and then as I watched each persona twirl and unveil their large clothes, letting them fall to the floor, a burst of relief took hold. This is not what I represent—diet mentality and showing off weight loss. Instead, my goal is to paint a picture of hope and relief from food addiction and eating disorders. I aspire to light the way to a better way of living. I bring focus to recovery and the added boost is weight loss if needed.

I  hold a doctorate in addiction psychology and I'm certified as a certified eating disorder specialist and have personal recovery from an eating disorder which helps me to help others.

So, I didn't make it on the Oprah Show, I'm still contemplating and sending out my intentions which I intend to manifest to appear on OWN but in a different capacity than a rah rah look at me and my weight loss to let me show you the way to peace and tranquility once and for all—to break free from your food addiction and obesity.

I'm relieved my Higher Source didn't manifest my intention prematurely. My time will come. Oprah's made a huge impact in my life and will continue to in all my adventures left to unfold.                                              

I no longer want to be on the outside looking in to what might have been but rather to what will be.

Photos taken by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Chemical Reactions To Food

I’m often asked how I went from 234 pounds to 139 pounds after years of bouncing up and down with my weight. Let’s be clear, I was the yo yo dieter of the year from early adolescents through my thirties. My weight and my relationship with food were a constant struggle for me until I began to understand my chemical reaction to certain foods.

After years of trial and error, research, clinical knowledge, weight loss, and stability of weight, I became a gentler spirit once I accepted sugar, flour and wheat caused me great distress. I learned highly processed, high fat, high sugar foods immediately produced a massive headache, irritability, and an all out food binge.

These days, I follow a simple formula breaking down each meal with structure (four meals a day each consisting of specific foods: fruit, protein, fat, vegetables, low fat dairy, and whole grains) and commitment rather than eating randomly. I also include daily exercise such as walking or biking along the ocean and try and live my life as a prayer.

No, I am certainly not perfect (and realize I sound as if this is so easy), and life is not always bliss. I would love to eat any food I want, but I realize the consequences aren’t worth the indulgence. I do get mad at life when I’m tired and work too many hours, or when I have to turn down an invitation to an event because the atmosphere won’t be conducive to my bringing my own foods, or when everyone will be eating a delectable piece of chocolate cake and I’ll be stuck eating a piece of fruit with yogurt.

But, no matter what life struggles present themselves, I know that binge eating simply isn’t an option—nor are sugar, flour, or wheat on my food list, because I understand that the sleeping giant of addiction within will wake, and chaos will return with a vengeance if I ingest any of these. I compare my situation to that of a heroin addict, who can't have just a smidgen of heroin; he must abstain completely to stay clean.

When I began to follow these specific guidelines—even when I didn’t want to—my negative mind chatter quieted, and for the first time I could become still, and hear God’s whispers. I connected to my inner strengths, and a spiritual understanding emerged in me. I found inner peace, God, and love. Love for myself, others, and the universe evolved inside me.

Not only was I calmer, kinder, and less self-centered, but I began to perceive a bigger picture. I saw food as real and not real: God’s food and man’s food. I chose food of the earth, sea, and air rather than processed and boxed. I turned to God, and the "noise" in my head ceased, and the addiction flattened. These days, I eat to live rather than live to eat. Healthful foods and a refreshed faith are now my fuel to retain optimal health and weight.


Photo Taken By:  Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego



Hypnosis and Relief From Obsessive Eating

“Touch the earth, love the earth, honour the earth, her plains, her valleys, her hills, and her seas rest your spirit in her solitary places.” ~ Earnest Dimnet

Don’t you wish there was a solitary place where you could rest your spirit? Don’t you wish you could stop your obsession with food with the snap of fingers? Don’t you wish you could rid yourself of vomiting your food for fear of gaining weight and instead learn to eat healthy and maintain a “normal” weight? What if I told you there’s a sanctuary—a paradise in your mind—where you can get relief once and for all. What if I told you hypnosis might be your answer.

My students in the introduction to psychology course I teach are fascinated by the subject of hypnosis. They can hardly wait for the discussion of the chapter on hypnosis and inevitably ask me questions about it each week prior to the week hypnosis is the topic—and make further queries during all the weeks that follow. Why such an interest? Perhaps it’s the mystery that seems to surround the topic of hypnosis. The questions I’m asked after the initial one, “What is hypnosis?” are “Does it really work?” “Can anybody be hypnotized?” “Will I get lost in there?” On and on, the questions flow—and of course, one by one I tackle each inquiry.

The issues my patients raise are very similar to the ones brought up by my students, except my patients experience hypnosis firsthand specifically to release their obsessions with food, to lose weight, to quit smoking or put a stop to other addictions or to let go of a range of fears and phobias. I tell them hypnosis is definitely not a “fix all” resolution to their problem at hand but rather an excellent tool to jumpstart a recovery and often help them connect to their Higher Source by moving deeper into the subconscious mind—a springboard toward prayer and meditation.

To better understand hypnosis I begin with the explanation on what hypnosis is and isn’t, and if it really works down to who can get hypnotized and gosh will I get lost in there and end up stuck in some garden in the mind or worse a purgatory of some sort.

What is hypnosis?

Hypnosis is a super-concentrated state of mind brought about by suggestions, which can be direct or indirect. Hypnosis produces a hypnotic state, or trance that’s actually a natural phenomenon. One can tap into this relaxed state of mind through intentional self-hypnosis (the person hypnotizes himself), through induction by a therapist, or accidentally by sheer repetition of a phrase or "mantra." The hypnotic state is a "normal" altered state of consciousness, similar to, but not the same as being awake. It also is similar to but not the same as being asleep.

Does hypnosis work?

It’s possible, without a shadow of a doubt, to redirect your thinking through the effect of suggestions to the mind by means of hypnosis.

Take Tabatha, a redheaded beauty, who strolled into my office cautiously guarded for fear hypnosis might not rid her of habitual purging of food once and for all. She’d purged since she was 13 years old, and when she came to see me was closing in on 50 years old. She had purged, at the least, five times a day for 37 uninterrupted years.

Tabatha and I met several times for psychotherapy sessions before we delved into hypnosis. She was prepared to let go of this horrendous nightmare of clinging to dirty toilet bowls in public restaurants to rid herself of her just-eaten meal while spitting up clumps of blood and experiencing anxiety attacks after a bout of dry heaves. Her eyes, sunk deep into her skull, were surrounded by the dark black bruises that often accompany purging, and she looked as if she had been in a boxing brawl. She was ready.

Can anyone get hypnotized?

No one can be hypnotized unwillingly. Hypnotic suggestibility is based on the person's willingness and trust. It is also based on freedom from fear on the subject’s part. Every person can be hypnotized with the exception of infants, psychotics, mentally retarded persons and/or individuals who lack attention span, concentration and comprehension.

Will I get lost in there?

No, all subjects are in control of their journey in hypnosis and can be brought out of hypnosis at the suggestion or on their own. Hypnosis under trained experts has definite therapeutic value, but again is not magic and definitely is advised against the non-scientific amateur. And at no time in this blog do I suggest or encourage depth analysis by the individual, for those who are seriously mentally or emotionally disturbed who must seek expert help. My aim is to show how the rest of us who are leading “lives of quiet desperation,” can acquire through a hypnotic trance the ability to connect with their Higher Source and with people as an additional step toward freedom from compulsive eating.

There is a solitary place where you can rest your spirit and stop your obsession with food almost with the snap of fingers. You can rid yourself of purging, restricting, dieting, and obsessing over food and maintain a normal healthy body weight. There is a sanctuary—a paradise in your mind—where you can get relief once and for all. Yes, hypnosis with a credentialed, licensed practitioner might be your answer to a life-long crippling illness.


Photo by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Revising Your Path to Releasing Your Obsession with Food…

Don’t you wish someone could tell you how close you are to finally resolving your weight issues and food obsession? Don’t you wish someone could say, “If you just keep at it and understand why you eat you’re certain to stop binge eating?”

Or even if it would be heartbreaking, wouldn’t it be nice to be told that you’re wasting your time going on yet another diet, so that you could move on, try another tack, or simply eat foods that bring you personal pleasure and release your obsession from food, with no other aim in mind?

I’ve counseled thousands of patients and spoke to large groups over the years. Even though I may not able to personally work with each of them, I can usually say something definitive about what their next steps should be. I often see when their diet is wasting their time.

No matter where you are on your own food path, it’s smart to periodically take stock of where you’re headed, and revise your eating plan as necessary. Here are some steps you can take to do just that.

Recognizing Yo Yo Dieting Isn’t Working

I’m often asked how I went from overweight to normal weight after years of bouncing up and down with my weight. Let’s be clear, I was the yo yo dieter of the year from early adolescents through my thirties. My weight and my relationship with food were a constant struggle for me until I began to understand my chemical reaction to certain foods. After years of trial and error, research, clinical knowledge, weight loss, and stability of weight, I recognized eating whole, natural foods free of sugar, flour, and wheat restored my moods and I instantly became calm and centered.

Eat Three Meals and One Half-Meal Daily

These days, I follow a simple formula breaking down each meal with structure (four meals a day each consisting of specific foods: fruit, protein, fat, vegetables, low fat dairy, and whole grains) and commitment rather than eating randomly. I also include daily exercise such as walking or biking along the ocean and try and live my life as a prayer.

Progress Not Perfection

No, I am certainly not perfect (and realize I sound as if this is so easy), and life is not always bliss. I would love to eat any food I want, but I realize the consequences aren’t worth the indulgence. I do get mad at life when I’m tired and work too many hours, or when I have to turn down an invitation to an event because the atmosphere won’t be conducive to my bringing my own foods, or when everyone will be eating a delectable piece of chocolate cake and I’ll be stuck eating a piece of fruit with yogurt. But, no matter what life struggles present themselves, I know that binge eating simply isn’t an option—nor are sugar, flour, or wheat on my food list, because I understand that the sleeping giant of addiction within will wake, and chaos will return with a vengeance if I ingest any of these. I compare my situation to that of a heroin addict, who can't have just a smidgeon of heroin; he must abstain completely to stay clean.

Make Room—A Higher Source Is Present

When I began to follow these specific guidelines—even when I didn’t want to—my negative mind chatter quieted, and for the first time I could become still, and hear God’s whispers. I connected to my inner strengths, and a spiritual understanding emerged in me. I found inner peace, God, and love. Love for myself, others, and the universe evolved inside me.

Not only was I calmer, kinder, and less self-centered, but I began to perceive a bigger picture. I saw food as real and not real: God’s food and man’s food. I chose food of the earth, sea, and air rather than processed and boxed. I turned to God, and the "noise" in my head ceased, and the addiction flattened. These days, I eat to live rather than live to eat. Healthful foods and a refreshed faith are now my fuel to retain optimal health and weight.

Last Thoughts

At the very beginning of this blog, I suggested it’s possible to release your obsession from food addiction when you let go of diet mentality if someone can lead the journey or point you in the right direction.

Here’s a little piece of hope: If your immediate thought was, I can’t live with obsessive eating any longer, then you are much closer to making peace with your food addiction than you might think. The battle is much more chemically imbalanced than you might think. Those who can’t be dissuaded are much more likely to reach their goals, regardless of the path they originally chose.


Photo by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

A Day at the Beach...

A Day at the Beach...


Today was one of those incredible days. I took a long bike ride along the beach in total awe at the magnificent purple and peach hues peeking through the cluster of white clouds as a backdrop to the crisp shades of blue that twinkled off the sea. With each press down on the pedal I gave thanks for all my blessings that continue to flow into my life. I remember a time when cycling was quite difficult for my 234 pound frame to have enough stamina to make it over the bridge without an abrupt stop to walk the incline.

This very shoreline in Hollywood, Florida is no strange place to me. Yvonne, my very best friend, and I were in our mid and early twenties respectively when we managed to scrape together enough money from our income tax return and jumped on a plane from Chicago and headed to what I refer to as paradise. I fell totally in love with Florida years before when I was only twelve and promised to one day return. I did.

Now, I fast forward 31 years on this very beach that brought me joy back then and today (though much has happened) with the birth of new memories, though I cling to what was. At 44 years old Yvonne passed away unexpectedly in her sleep but I hold on to the ten years of reminiscence when we flew back and forth from Chicago until I finally took the plunge and moved here permanently. So our giggles, tears, and serious talks live on in me and the beauty today I am so blessed to embrace is still the same.

Many a bike rides, power walks, and baby carriage strolls I indulged on this very beach. In my twenties with Yvonne I was knee-deep in my food addiction with a preoccupation with food and my body weight. Back then, I thought I didn't have "will" power to maintain any kind of diet to earn a "respectable" body size. Today I know it had nothing to do with diets or will power and everything to do with a chemical imbalance when I ate certain foods. I didn't have a clue that I couldn't tolerate sugar, flour, and wheat. I wish I did.

All I knew in my younger years was that I had uncontrollable cravings and never had enough to eat and lived life in shame. I thought there was something wrong with me because I had no control over my food while Yvonne couldn't care less about when, what, or how we ate as she pranced about with this amazing body tucked in a teeny tiny bikini and I hid behind an oversized t-shirt.

Today, as my strong lean legs gracefully pump the pedals with such ease the warm ocean breeze cools my face. I am alive and free. I'm liberated from the pain that comes from binge eating addictive foods. I am in such a different frame of mind compared to those yesteryears. Daily, I practice active recovery from food addiction.

As long as I eat three balanced meals at the same time each day and a metabolic snack, free of sugar, flour, and wheat I am good. I don't need anything more or less. I operate at an optimal level and all guilt and shame is completely wiped away. My body is a "normal" weight, and on and off diet mentality is no longer the way I live my life. Instead, I adopted a healthy lifestyle where I walk, bike, meditate, play, pray, eat healthy "real" foods, all sprinkled with spiritual balance as my base.

Today was one of those incredible days I wished to bottle forever but thunder in the background shook me from my daze and pushed me to a Lance Armstrong pedal pace to beat the storm. I'm grateful and thankful for a beach day and to you Yvonne for insisting we spend our money and make Florida an annual trip when we were young girls with crazy dreams. Without your nudge I wouldn't live in paradise blessed with a healthy body and a healthy mind where dreams do come true.

Life is good! I am thankful...


Photo by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Happy Birthday America!

Happy Birthday America! It's hard to believe the Fourth of July weekend is once again coming to an end. So often we go through this holiday weekend marking the event with picnics, barbeques, and various outdoor activities. But, the 4th of July is much more than a day off of work. For me, it's a day worth remembering and reminiscing.

I'm grateful for my independence and freedom to live in this great country. Yes, it’s the day America decided to become independent of Great Britain and represents freedom to make our own rules and be responsible for our welfare, but it also is a time to look back and remember family events—good and bad.

This morning my day began with sunny, blue skies, white puffy clouds, birds singing and a wonderful walk, talk and prayer time with my sister. No doubt, a start to a picture perfect South Florida day! Independence Day is a time for Americans to remember and celebrate what was and what is—not only for our country but for your personal desires.

Are you on course?

Although today is truly glorious day for me, somewhere someone out there is mourning something. Perhaps a family member is sick, or you lost someone you love, or maybe you personally are facing a challenge of your own. I’m certain there are many fur-children out there not too happy. I can attest to my Sage’s fear of fireworks which is inevitable this entire weekend.

Also on this day I think of  my Mom and recall several Fourth of Julys before and after she suffered a massive stroke. I am filled with joy for great memories as well as sadness. The first 4th of July after her stroke I questioned how the world could still move forward while I was suspended in gripping emotional pain.

And yet, no matter where you are in your life today, even though you might be grappling with an emotional, physical, or spiritual loss, the 4th of July must go on. It is no doubt a time for celebration, which includes: picnics, boat outings, Barbeques, et cetera, along with foods, drinks and temptations. This is the American way!

I can't help but wonder what role food plays in illnesses, losses, and death. In my line of work (eating disorders and mood disorders) holidays can be very difficult when platters of favorite foods are presented in front of you. I have a long history of active food addiction that certainly was fired up during this very holiday weekend. My recollection brings me to our summer vacation home in Wautoma, Wisconsin where we began each morning of our holiday weekend with several boxes of glazed, chocolate, and long-john doughnuts filled with cream washed down with chocolate milk or a huge breakfast of eggs, bacon, cheese, and loaves of Italian bread slathered in butter.

Holidays meant lots of foods tempting me to eat myself into a coma. Today is different; I understand my food addiction and practice recovery every day. It’s not always easy and certainly I’m not perfect. I have witnessed in my practice, as a certified addiction professional, and certified eating disorder professional the different facets of eating disorders, none of which are easy to move from active addiction to recovery. But, it can be done.

My Mom had her own battle with food and weight. She spent all of her adult life obese and she ate large portions of high fat, salty foods. Perhaps she grew her body rather than restricted to accomplish hiding within her body. My grandmother, also a large woman, bounced from diets to bingeing. No doubt my food issues were inherited genetically and environmentally. Mom died just before her 67th birthday.

I believe unprocessed foods play a huge role in healthy minds and healthy bodies. All of my self-hypnosis CDs addresses the importance of clean eating, exercise, and spiritual recovery.

And so here we are on this glorious day. The Florida sun tucked away for the evening as festivities of 4th of July come to a halt. I wonder, as the last bits of fireworks fall from the sky, sounds still within ear shot, how many close this day with full bellies and empty bellies both rumbling from restricting or bingeing. Many are alone and lonely, turning to food for comfort...or not. Eating disorders come in many guises. It does not matter if your black or white...or somewhere in between. It does not matter if you're rich or poor...or somewhere in the middle.

Today, I celebrate America's Independence. I celebrate my independence. I broke away from food controlling me...and now live free. I hope those suffering and hurting today will find independence from pain and sadness—and the loss of loved ones. Life is to be celebrated. America is to be celebrated. Let's wave our flag proudly. We live in a country that offers help and hope to all.



Photo by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Spiritual Food Vs. Whole Food

What would we expect of someone who feeds only on fast food and unhealthy snacks filled with sugar and fats? A healthy body? I think not. What about a long life? Of course not. We would expect physical health to decline as a result of the food intake. Is it any different with spiritual food?

Could it be the intake of the divine source could restore a food addict to an all encompassing state of health?

The food addict knows all too well today’s culture is loaded with unhealthy processed foods, but what about spiritual food? Today we are inundated with information that is less than palatable for the spiritual self that captures our attention on a daily basis. In the advent of technology, unsavory information leaks out in all directions that distract us from purposeful living. And much of what we feed on is unhealthy spiritually and nutritionally.

"You are what you eat" applies not only in the physical world, but also in the spiritual world. In our pursuit of spiritual food and whole food, our minds and bodies hunger for genuine nutrition from both realms.

Our bodies are our temples while our minds should be our sanctuary. God calls us to watch our diets. It pleases Him when we care for His temple, our bodies. But it pleases Him much more when we care for His mind, our sanctuary. It’s the creative divine spirit that is able to manifest anything it contemplates, and making the decision to co-create your program of recovery with your higher source will carry you beyond your greatest wishes.

With your creator all things are possible. Without the higher energy and not participating in a food program of recovery the disease will resurface.

There's no way to take in junk without becoming junky. The force behind recovery is what drives the transcendence that far surpasses the attachment to binge eating. It is the spiritual dimension, a unifying field that integrates the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of being.

Spiritual healing alone works if you’re not dealing with a chemical imbalance. Without hindrance, let His thoughts nourish you both physically and mentally.

The spiritual dimension is the essence of self and also transcends the self. It’s our closest, most direct experience of the universal life force. Food addiction is beyond our control without the help of a higher energy to transcend us from our pain so we can attend to address our own issues and well being.

Yes, it is the presence of a strong spiritual source combined with whole foods that can restore the food addict to an all encompassing state of health. We can expect a physical and mental transformation feeding on whole foods free of cakes, fried foods, and ice cream replaced by nutritional foods such as a mix of vegetables, fresh fruits, whole grains, pure oils, dairy, and protein.

Perhaps our body and mind will respond to the the spiritual food and whole food with a longer life, physical restoration, and spiritual fulfillment.

Photo taken by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Obesity in America...

On an Oprah show I heard Mrs. Obama discussing the obesity epidemic in America and how change needs to take place, especially getting children to incorporate more exercise and healthy foods as part of their daily lifestyle.

Great idea! But is it realistic?

I can't count how many families have sought my help with their children's obesity. When I suggest the entire family get off sugar, white flour and processed foods they get the deer-caught-in-the head-lights look. Or they stare at me like I sprouted horns right in front of their very eyes.

I go on gently to explain how attracted we are to processed foods because they are addictive and I discuss what food addiction looks like in children and adults. I share my food addiction story along with my recovery and often, in time,  they begin to nod their heads as they hear their story in my story.

Early in childhood I was fixated on sugar—never getting enough and going to great extremes to obtain it: stealing, hiding and hoarding.

Although I didn’t have an awareness of food addiction, I knew something was wrong.

In hindsight, I realized I ate out of control and bargained with myself and God to stop—after this one last pastry. I felt shame if I got caught stealing food or money to buy food; yet, I didn’t have the mentality to understand I was compulsive eating until my adolescent years when weight began to pile on. And even then I didn’t know there was an actual eating disorder called, binge eating disorder—and that I had it.

What I did know was my friends ate when they were hungry and they instincually knew to stop eating when they were full, and they didn’t hide or sneak their foods, nor did they have shame every time they ate.

Food addicts have a severe and ongoing disturbance in the manner in which they handle food. The depiction of addiction to food resembles the hallmarks of any addiction. The food addict is caught in the grip of a compulsive, habitual behavior that can’t be controlled.

The binge eater begins eating when she didn’t plan to and can’t stop eating when she wants to. Addiction is the persistent and repetitive enactment of a behavioral pattern the person recurrently fails to resist and that consequently leads to significant physical, psychological, social, legal, or other major life problems.

Loss of control over eating and obesity produce changes in the brain, which is similar to those produced by drugs of abuse.

Food addiction is a loss of control over eating coupled with the physiological tolerance and psychological dependence that occurs when a specific stimulus (food) is ingested. Typically, this addiction can result in negative consequences for basic life functions and relationships with family; social situations; intimate relationships; the sufferers relationship with God and spiritual development; and/or in relation to the law, health, and work life.

Research indicates more than half of Americans are overweight and at least a quarter near obesity. Weight loss products and services  cost consumers over 50 billion dollars annually and the numbers are climbing. More than 325,000 deaths are attributable to obesity-related causes each year.

My mother and grandmother were included in these statistics; their lives were shortened through a series of strokes and finally pneumonia as a result of their obesity.

So, yes I applaud Mrs. Obama for addressing children and family obesity and the wonderful suggestions she brings to the table. Unfortunately, I believe the problem goes deeper than exercise and healthy food choices. Food addiction is rampant and until their is a clear understanding about what it is and what the signs are all the diet and exercise suggestions will continue to go unheard.

Photo Taken by: Benjamin Crego

Awakenings...

All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is an awakening? Dictionary.com defines an awakening as a recognition, realization, or coming into awareness of something. I think of an awakening as being present—in the now. How often do you go through the motions of life missing out on the simple things such as the birds singing or a daffodil in bloom? When was the last time you truly looked deeply at something—anything—in it’s natural setting?

I’d been a bit overwhelmed with teaching, my practice, working on my book, and traveling that I realized I need to slow down this whirlwind of a life and take a day for me to catch my breath. I “turned it over” to a higher source.

When I walk with God and live life as a prayer I awaken without fail to His beauty and His grace—and awareness takes hold.

Night after night birds outside my bedroom window started singing at the top of their little whistles to the point my slumber’s interrupted.

What’s going on I ask?

The birds are turned around—at least the ones out my bedroom window in the middle of the night.

The birds continued to sing all through the night while during the day beautiful purple/pink flowers bloomed around my St. Francis statue in the yard. I didn’t even plant these flowers! In fact, I didn’t even notice they were there—and the statue is smack in front of my kitchen window that I stare out of continuously throughout the day.

I’ve always been drawn to St. Francis. I actually learned recently that I was born in St. Francis hospital in Blue Island, Chicago, Illinois. And when my Mom passed away her prayer card was a picture of St. Francis of Assisi on one side and Father Rookey’s Miracle Prayer on the other. Hmmmm—coincidence? I think not.

I read once where there is great love there is miracles. How can you not feel love when you see a flower in full bloom—or hear birds singing smack in the middle of the night?

To awaken is to be close to a higher source.

So, upon reflection, perhaps my busyness with life blocked my awareness of the beauty that surrounds me. God tapped, then knocked—then threw a brick (i.e. birds singing LOUD well into the night) just to get my attention—to slow down, and stop and smell the flowers, see the cobalt blue sky, and embrace all the amazing beauty right in front of my very eyes. I am awake.

I can see how it might be possible for a man to look down upon the earth and be an atheist, but I cannot conceive how he could look up into the heavens and say there is no God.
~ Abraham Lincoln



Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

I'm a Food Junkie...

My first real summer job, at the age of 13, was at the local bakery in town in Wautoma, Wisconsin. Getting that job I’d thought I won the lottery ticket. I had access to the goods five days a week with little supervision. It was a Willie Wonka life—for real. I ate bakery from the second the boss left until I clocked out.

Hi, my name is Lisa—I’m a food junkie. A food junkie thinks about food every waking moment: She/He is an addict. An addict is someone who is physiologically dependent on a substance.

My dependence began in early childhood but I wasn’t aware of it. At first I needed a doughnut to feel calm and it progressed to two, three, and four—and before I knew it the bakers dozen wasn’t cutting it.

I binged daily on cakes, cookies, doughnuts and freshly baked hot bread slathered in butter. But soon after taking my first bite of a “sugary/salty treat,” I fluctuated between a hair-raising, euphoric “sugar high” and a dark, negative wretchedness. To make matters worse, my weight swelled to 100 pounds over my ideal weight.

An abrupt deprivation of simple carbohydrates produced withdrawal symptoms. Chocolate bars, cakes, cookies, alcoholic beverages, sweetened soft drinks are simple sugar sources that provide calories, but usually no nutrients. From the sugar, I experienced depression, anxiety, and irritability only to return back to such sweets to fend off my melancholy, tranquilize my sense of being ill at ease, and lessen my agony—intense physical and mental suffering.

I experienced a violent struggle between outbursts of excitement and despair. A vicious cycle indeed! I didn’t realize these quickly metabolized carbohydrates briefly made me feel wonderful but then took me from that deceptive, blissful high to a tumultuous low.

I developed a physical dependence from chronic use of chocolate, cookies, cakes, and salty pretzels, which produced a high tolerance to them.

The chemical dependence is related to changes in the addict’s brain chemistry. Those changes involve the “pleasure circuit,” where, because of sensitivity to these substances, certain neurotransmitters and receptors create pleasurable feelings after being stimulated by simple carbohydrates.

With an abrupt deprivation of simple carbs, I experienced withdrawal symptoms, including severe headaches and body aches, and I broke out in a cold sweat and was irritable and fatigued. I found comfort in nothing except returning to sweets and starches.

In order to experience the symptoms of withdrawal, one must have first developed a chemical dependence. This happens after consuming one or more of these substances for a certain period of time, which is both dose dependent and varies based upon the drug consumed.

I first developed a chemical dependence after consuming sweets and salty simple carbohydrates every day in large quantities for months, to the point of being well beyond full. The negative symptoms of withdrawal were the result of abrupt discontinuation or cutting back on the amounts I consumed.

The higher the dose of sugar and starches typically the worse the physical dependence, and thus, the worse the withdrawal symptoms. Withdrawal symptoms can last days, weeks, or months, or on occasion even longer and will vary from individual to individual.

Although my sensitivity to certain foods was well in place in my formative years (and most likely from conception) it was my first real summer job at the local baker that really opened my eyes that I had a problem. My weight soared and I couldn’t stop eating. Answers and solutions only came to me later in life after years of studying, working with patients and making drastic changes in my own life style.

I learned if I numb my feelings through addictive foods I am incapable if action or feeling emotion, blocking joy from my life and entering a vicious cycle. But, but when I allowed myself to be vulnerable and let myself be “seen” rather than anesthetized from addictive foods, I could reach a spiritual awakening and perhaps with my awareness I can drop a seed of hope to others.

Easter Day...

When I think of pale yellow daffodils with deep golden centers the first thought that pops into my head is Easter and spring time. The second thought is Lent. Today is Easter and Lent has come to a close.

My Lenten plan was to go to church every Sunday and to be kind to everyone—no matter what. Well, I didn’t quite make it, but I did my best. Lent is the forty-day-long liturgical season of fasting and prayer before Easter. I definitely don’t engage in the fasting part, as anyone who knows me will tell you I’m not nice when I’m deprived of "my" food. So, I continue to eat my three healthy meals a day with a half meal as a snack, and it works like a charm.

When I think of the meaning of Lent, I can't help but slip into my many memories of vowing to God I will not eat chocolate, sugar, and flour for forty days and forty nights. Back in the days, on Ash Wednesday, I would sit in the pew, teeth clenched, with the promise to never ever binge on sugary, chocolaty foods starting day one of Lent. I promised—only to fall a few short days into my penance.

This morning with church jam packed from one end to the other, I was without a seat, pressed against the side wall with an opportunity to observe everyone. As I looked around the church, watching all those sitting comfy in their pew, I let my mind wander, while a priest I didn’t know went on talking about how great it was to see the church full, and at the same time I scanned the room assessing and guessing what each person gave up for lent and questioned if they were relieved that today they can indulge once again, or if they made it as far as they intended on Ash Wednesday.

Then my mind reverted back to myself—hmmm—I guess I could yell at someone today. Not. I can't miss the point and move in the wrong spiritual direction of where I strive to be. As my mind continued to wander and wonder which of these folks gave up alcohol, or maybe drugs, sex...or some behavior or thought they were agonizing over. I used to give up this, that, or the other, and made it for just a few days before succumbing to my addiction: food.

As far back as a small child I gave up candy for Lent. And even then I couldn’t string but a few days together before diving into some gooey treat. If mom didn’t catch me then my conscience did. I always felt God watched and one day He would punish me for will power deficit. But, today I know my God of understanding is filled with love and that will power has nothing to do with addiction and that abstinence for me was (and is) the resolution. Today, I left church snug, with my conscience in tact, and feeling all the glory of Easter.

It is evident to me that I have come a very long way from those many Lenten seasons of the past. I made my way back to my car smiling and nodding at others and they responded in kind—I pondered to myself on how warm and loving their eyes were and at the extra gaze they so generously gave. I think I’ll continue practicing kindness and love.


Photo by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Spiritual Being....

Another day is about to unfold. I always look forward to the treasures of life that await me. This morning I rode my bike along the Hollywood, Florida Inter-Coastal and up the bridge and along the sea side. What a view! As I pedaled with energy and enthusiasm I thought about how I used to feel exhausted and full of dispair. I have come a long way from the overweight girl with body, mind, and spirit deficits to living my best life.

After swinging from one diet to another my food addiction made me so desperate that I fell to my knees in hopelessness, and then I began to carve out a God. God can be a gentle breeze, the sun, or light. What you call this great energy doesn’t matter. You could call it God, Lesley, Sam, or Toto—a name is simply that, a name. God is bigger than what you call Him/It. He is consciousness—a higher self of me. He was in me all along. Sort of like the situation of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. She had everything she needed within herself, and it only took the wizard to point her in the right direction to learn what she had within all along.

Tap deep into your own desires and you’ll find what it is you’re looking for. God may show up for you while you pray, sleep, dance, swim, or when you’re in a compulsive eat-frenzy and can’t stop. You’ll find Him through your understanding of what He is. People are often confused about the difference between religion and spirituality.

Religion isn't necessarily a context for the spiritual. Religion can be defined as a (mental) belief in and reference to a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe. It’s an institutionalized or even personal system grounded in such (mental) belief and, ideally, worship—which consists of a mental/emotional turning to that supernatural reference point. Religion generally includes a set of credos, values, and practices based on the teachings of a spiritual leader. It is a cause, principle, or activity pursued with zeal or conscientious devotion and/or mental allegiance.

Religion, hopefully, encompasses an increasing experience of the spiritual reality of one’s relationship with God. Over the years, my own spiritual practice evolved into honest conversations with God, meditations, rides along the ocean, silence, and letting go of my silly mind chatter. From these efforts and spontaneous arisings, I felt an inner transformation and an overall improved sense of well-being emerge. This process of frequently turning to the greater power in all sincerity brought me closer to a spiritual connection I couldn’t find with my religion alone. Thus, I have come to see a difference between religion itself and the spirituality it may or may not foster.

Yes, another day is about to unfold. I always look forward to the treasures of life that await me. This morning I rode my bike along the Hollywood, Florida Inter-Coastal and up the bridge and along the sea side and I saw God's art work splashed in hues of orange, purple, and shades of green behind white puffs of clouds. What a spectacular view! I have grown spiritually, emotionally, and physically from the obese girl I was.

Binge Eating Disorder vs. Food Addiction

Do I have Binge Eating Disorder or is it Food Addiction, or Could it be a Combination of Both? Have you ever gone back for an extra serving of food when you weren't hungry? How about mindless eating between meals on occasion? I’m sure most of us at some time or another took an additional serving (or two) of food or ate unplanned meals especially during holidays, birthdays, and long weekends. Let's face it temptations to over-indulge are all around us.

So, what makes the difference between an occasional over indulgence, or binge eating? What about food addiction? When is it a food addiction? To make matters more confusing, when is it binge eating disorder and when it is food addiction? And, could it actually be a combination of the two?

When was the last time you binged a bushel of apples or a bucket of broccoli? I'm willing to bet not too often. How about a box of cookies, bag of potato chips, or chocolate bars? Ah...hitting a nerve am I? If you look around I am certain you will see at every turn someone who binge eats. Do you?

Millions of Americans hide, steal, and hoard food anticipating a secret binge. After their indulgence they're filled with remorse and shame promising to never over eat again. One of the least discussed and most common eating disorder is binge eating disorder. Binge eating is defined as over eating a large amount of food in a small period of time, at least three times a week for six months or longer. Binge eating, or compulsive eating—as it is more familiarly known—affects more than 20 million people in the United States alone. And yet, we focus more on bulimia nervosa and anorexia when it comes to eating disorders.

In my practice, the majority of my eating disordered patients suffer from binge eating disorder and/or obesity. This isn't to say all bingers are obese or even overweight, because some actually can be of normal weight. Also, not all overweight persons binge eat. And where does food addiction fit into the mix? The biggest challenge is to sort through whether the patient has food addiction, binge eating disorder, or a combination of the two.

The food addict also eats a large amount of food in a small period of time, and like compulsive eating, it comes with consequences that can be lethal, such as obesity, heart disease, relationship issues, body image, and et cetera. The big difference between the two disorders is food addicts crave specific foods that are uncontrollable no matter what attempts they put forth to stop (i.e., dieting, restricting, exercising, et cetera).

I liken food addiction, an uncontrollable craving for high sugar and processed foods, to recreational drugs such as cocaine, heroin, and nicotine. And the food addict needs to consume the sugary/starchy substance in order to function—to feel "normal." In all addiction cases, the substance dependent consumes larger amounts of their drug for longer periods than were normally intended with a persistent desires or repeated unsuccessful attempts to quit—even if it interrupts social, recreational, and family interaction—because the addicted substance takes precedence.

When it comes to treatment for binge eating disorder it is often not about the food but rather about the emotional deficits. When it comes to treatment for food addiction it is about the food—specific foods that trigger the compulsion to consume large amounts of it no matter what the cost. Although binge eating disorder and food addiction share many of the same symptoms, food addiction shares the emotional component of binge eating disorder as well as the symptoms such as obsession with body, weight, mood shifts, closet eating, stealing, where compulsive eating is about the inability to deal with emotions.

I suffered from food addiction and binge eating disorder as far back as I can remember—I just didn't know what it was called. I thought there was something wrong with me mentally. I craved chocolate, doughnuts, chips, and anything gooey and sweet beyond normalcy and I tried every diet under the sun—including diet pills, commercial diet centers, starvation, over exercising, none of which helped me tame the compulsion to eat beyond full in spite of the detrimental consequences, which in my case was obesity.

I wish I knew then what I know now about eating disorders, treatment, and spiritual recovery. Perhaps I could have avoided all the pain and suffering with my weight up and my weight down—an endless battle—until now. Today, I live life without the torture of worrying about getting heavy, craving foods I can’t control the amount of—and spiritually my cup is full. So, if you are one to eat an extra serving, two, or three beyond holidays, birthdays, and long weekend temptations, when you weren't hungry, to the point of devastating consequences that hamper the quality of your life, perhaps you may suffer from an eating disorder such as food addiction, binge eating disorder (compulsive eating) or both intertwined.

My 20 years experience as a clinical psychotherapist, a PhD in addiction psychology, certified eating disorder specialist, certified addiction professional, and national board certified clinical hypnotherapist has not only made me a recognized expert in my field, but also made me privy to understanding the experience of those (and myself) releasing their obsessions with food and turning to their connection with the divine energy (known as God for some)and people.

Photos by Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Balance...

A day in the life of Dr. Lisa!

I woke this morning at 7:00 to the sound of birds chirping and the sun blaring in through the cracks of the drapes...and my day began.

After morning stretches, eight minutes of weight lifting, and meditation, I jumped on my bike and pedaled down Hollywood beach taking in all the magnificent morning from the glistening ocean, children playing in the sand, to seagulls flying over head. What a magical sight.

Home one hour later I began my breakfast preparations and made fresh blueberry pancakes topped with Greek yogurt. Does life get any better than this? And while the pancakes cooked and filled the air with the most delicious home baked aroma—taking me back to six years old as I recalled my great grandma Baba, who served the most delicious blueberry pie—I smiled. Of course my pancakes are sugar, flour, and wheat free.

While my pancakes cooked I prepared lunch: 4oz of roasted chicken, 2 cups of fresh steamed whole green beans topped with olive oil, freshly squeezed lemon and a pinch of sea salt and ground pepper. Then, I moved on and made my later afternoon snack of sliced yellow apples and 2 oz strips of sirloin steak—all to tote with me to work.

My day is off to a perfect start...

As I ate my breakfast, I began the rush of answering e-mails, writing something for my blog, a few tweets and a hello on facebook.

Okay, time to jump in the shower, primp, and get dressed—and off to an eight hour work day with eight patients to discuss their eating disorders, depression, and whatever life challenge is offered up at that moment.

Ah…not done yet. Once finished working with patients I hop in the car for a twenty minute drive west to teach psychology with a group of awesome students at DeVry university.

Finally, I find my way back home around 9ish at night and take a short bike ride with my husband to catch up on our day—followed by dinner preparations (Broiled Salmon, Sweet potato, tossed salad with olive oil and vinegar) and then back online for more checking on emails, grading student's work, a tweet or two... and yes, finally bed.

Ah...in the life of Dr. Lisa...ya never know what's going to happen.

How do I keep balance? Well, I retire for bed near midnight and get up at 7:00 a.m. every day whether I am on vacation, home, or at a conference. My body is conditioned to expect seven hours of sleep. My food is natural and free of sugar flour and wheat. I exercise an hour daily and make time to pray, meditate, and sit still. I nurture my loving relationships with my husband, sons, and sweet fur child Sage.

Balance is key. I work hard, play hard, and live life as a prayer.

Why Can't I Stop Eating?

So, you ask yourself,'Why can't I stop eating?' or 'What's wrong with me that I’m eating a huge amount of food—when I’m not even hungry?'

Did you ever consider you may have an eating disorder? Okay, it's harsh to even consider the idea. Nobody wants to be "labeled" with a disorder. I get that. I have binge eating disorder and denied it for years until one day (after gaining and losing and gaining close to 100 pounds) I came to my senses and admitted I had an eating disorder and gradually changed my relationship with food; hence, my journey to recovery began. Was it easy? Certainly not! Was it doable? Absolutely!

Let's face it, change doesn't come easy for most of us and learning we might have a disorder that requires cognitive/behavioral changes is darn right scary. So what does one do? I believe the answer begins by making choices towards a healthy life style. We can hunker down to what is familiar—not willing to budge—or we can step out of our comfort zone and try recovery strategies that may seem foreign at first.

As an expert in eating disorders, I have found answers not only for myself but also for my patients who have binge eating disorder, bulimia, anorexia, food addiction, or a combination of all four. You may wonder if it’s possible to move in and out of binge eating, purging, and restricting—the answer is yes. In fact, it’s not uncommon to dance between a mix of eating disorders.

You may find it interesting to learn, bulimia and anorexia are the eating disorders most familiar, but not most common. Patients often gasp when they learn that eating a large amount of food in a small period of time with little regards for consequences (and not purging) actually has a name and is considered an eating disorder that is more common than bulimia and anorexia. Most of my patients (including myself) have binge eating disorder without purging food. After an episode of bingeing, often the person harbors guilt and shame promising after this last binge they’ll get back to their diet and never engage in volume eating again.

Once my patients get past the fact they have a disorder, and that it actually has a name—binge eating disorder—they move into acceptance and a recovery plan.

So now, when you ask yourself, ‘why am I bingeing', you may want to take a closer look at what's going on in your life? Let's be clear, if you spend the evening hunkered down in a coma-state watching television, and to your surprise realize you inhaled an entire bag of potato chips, you are not automatically a binge eater. A binge eater frets over the fact they lost control over their food and may even fear they can't stop eating once they start and an intense fear of weight gain. Furthermore, it's not uncommon for a compulsive eater to hide their food and binge alone—filled with shame when the binge is over.

The cause and recovery strategy for compulsive eating is up for grabs—with many theories. Some say it is a chemical imbalance and name it food addiction. Some find it is an emotional crisis and bingeing is a way to avoid something bothersome. And still others find it is a spiritual deficit. I say, it's a three-prong problem: spiritual, emotional, and physical.

Most of my patients contact me because they want to lose weight and they tried every "diet" imaginable and still can't stop eating. Eating beyond full is common with a person suffering from binge eating disorder. What is causing this behavior? Perhaps you're sensitive to sugar, flour, and wheat due to a chemical imbalance causing you to crave more and more food, especially from sweet and starchy food choices.

You may have trouble resisting a binge because you suffer from a food addiction and/or an eating disorder. The answer is not simple and it requires a process that involves change in thoughts and behaviors. The first step for you is to get familiar with trigger foods and start weaning off of them. After a binge (or before would be ideal!) ask yourself a series of questions:

1. Was I hungry? When was the last time I ate? If it was more than five hours you most likely were hungry.
2. Was I angry about something? Is there something going on in my life that I feel out of control, anxious, hopeless, and/or helpless?
3. Am I lonely or feeling alone?
4. Am I tired? Did I get an ample amount of sleep?
5. Am I stressed? Do I have too much to do and little time for relaxation and fun?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it may be the first place to address your eating issues. Also, pay attention to the foods you’re eating. Perhaps you are sensitive to processed foods such as: bread, cakes, cookies, flour, et cetera. So, if you ask yourself, 'Why can't I stop bingeing?' or 'What is wrong with me that I'm eating a huge amount of food when I’m not even hungry?', you may have an eating disorder or a chemical imbalance that triggers uncontrollable cravings and volume eating. My suggestion is to seek a certified eating disorder professional who can help you address these issues and move into recovery and quality living.

What is Spirituality?

What is the experience of spirituality? My patients in treatment for various eating disorders often ask me this very question. The answer is not so easy, especially when spirituality is an individual experience—with no two exposures mirrored.

Treatment for eating disorders is three-fold: physical, emotional and spiritual. Often the spiritual component is missing. Is it important? From my perspective, as a certified eating disorder professional and a food addict in recovery, spirituality is KEY to restoring a healthy balance.

What is the experience like when a spiritual connection is ever-present? For me, it’s a constant intangible companion through trials and tribulations. It’s an awareness that whispers answers to questions often not posed—when everything is dark and there’s nowhere and no one to turn to. Spirituality is the hug from God when you feel alone. It is His strength when you feel weak.True, this “thing” called spirituality is not tangible, but omnipotent when you open your heart and receive it. This infinite power shows no bias and no preference and is available to anyone who seeks.

What is spiritual deficit? When disconnected from spiritual recovery the sun no longer shines and the birds are silent—you drown in despair, so alone gasping for relief—any relief to stop the pain is welcomed. The lack of divine—is an innate gnawing sense something is not right within. To not be in spiritual presence is as powerful as to be—but on an insane track, hiding food in your purse, closet, drawers and filling up to your eye balls with food – stomach distended—dying within and dying without.

Spirituality is a term that is impossible to define because each individual attracts his or her spiritual-self differently. Spiritual sacredness is a personal, internal vision—a part of the self that refers to faith in something greater and more profound than self. Faith is not necessarily in the context of organized religion, but rather as how one perceives their own connection with a force higher than themselves. In the context of this blog, spirituality best fits to an internal exploration rather than to objective reasoning.

Ericson (1996) says it best:

Although I am well versed in the “techniques” and “tools” of psychology and psychotherapy, I believe that these are merely “tools.” The real healing takes place with these tools and the willingness and openness to allow that “power greater than self” to intervene. I believe that to use these tools without a healthy respect and inclusion of the spiritual process is like trying to run a race with one leg. (pp.104-105)

So, what is the experience of spirituality? It is allowing yourself to be open and willing to let your experience take you where your journey directs you—to embrace whatever comes…


Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego


Ericson Phyllis (1996). “Journey of the soul…The emerging self…from dis-ease to discovery.” Dissertation Abstracts International, 58 (8), 4579B (UMI No. 9542654)