Awakenings...

All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is an awakening? Dictionary.com defines an awakening as a recognition, realization, or coming into awareness of something. I think of an awakening as being present—in the now. How often do you go through the motions of life missing out on the simple things such as the birds singing or a daffodil in bloom? When was the last time you truly looked deeply at something—anything—in it’s natural setting?

I’d been a bit overwhelmed with teaching, my practice, working on my book, and traveling that I realized I need to slow down this whirlwind of a life and take a day for me to catch my breath. I “turned it over” to a higher source.

When I walk with God and live life as a prayer I awaken without fail to His beauty and His grace—and awareness takes hold.

Night after night birds outside my bedroom window started singing at the top of their little whistles to the point my slumber’s interrupted.

What’s going on I ask?

The birds are turned around—at least the ones out my bedroom window in the middle of the night.

The birds continued to sing all through the night while during the day beautiful purple/pink flowers bloomed around my St. Francis statue in the yard. I didn’t even plant these flowers! In fact, I didn’t even notice they were there—and the statue is smack in front of my kitchen window that I stare out of continuously throughout the day.

I’ve always been drawn to St. Francis. I actually learned recently that I was born in St. Francis hospital in Blue Island, Chicago, Illinois. And when my Mom passed away her prayer card was a picture of St. Francis of Assisi on one side and Father Rookey’s Miracle Prayer on the other. Hmmmm—coincidence? I think not.

I read once where there is great love there is miracles. How can you not feel love when you see a flower in full bloom—or hear birds singing smack in the middle of the night?

To awaken is to be close to a higher source.

So, upon reflection, perhaps my busyness with life blocked my awareness of the beauty that surrounds me. God tapped, then knocked—then threw a brick (i.e. birds singing LOUD well into the night) just to get my attention—to slow down, and stop and smell the flowers, see the cobalt blue sky, and embrace all the amazing beauty right in front of my very eyes. I am awake.

I can see how it might be possible for a man to look down upon the earth and be an atheist, but I cannot conceive how he could look up into the heavens and say there is no God.
~ Abraham Lincoln



Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

I'm a Food Junkie...

My first real summer job, at the age of 13, was at the local bakery in town in Wautoma, Wisconsin. Getting that job I’d thought I won the lottery ticket. I had access to the goods five days a week with little supervision. It was a Willie Wonka life—for real. I ate bakery from the second the boss left until I clocked out.

Hi, my name is Lisa—I’m a food junkie. A food junkie thinks about food every waking moment: She/He is an addict. An addict is someone who is physiologically dependent on a substance.

My dependence began in early childhood but I wasn’t aware of it. At first I needed a doughnut to feel calm and it progressed to two, three, and four—and before I knew it the bakers dozen wasn’t cutting it.

I binged daily on cakes, cookies, doughnuts and freshly baked hot bread slathered in butter. But soon after taking my first bite of a “sugary/salty treat,” I fluctuated between a hair-raising, euphoric “sugar high” and a dark, negative wretchedness. To make matters worse, my weight swelled to 100 pounds over my ideal weight.

An abrupt deprivation of simple carbohydrates produced withdrawal symptoms. Chocolate bars, cakes, cookies, alcoholic beverages, sweetened soft drinks are simple sugar sources that provide calories, but usually no nutrients. From the sugar, I experienced depression, anxiety, and irritability only to return back to such sweets to fend off my melancholy, tranquilize my sense of being ill at ease, and lessen my agony—intense physical and mental suffering.

I experienced a violent struggle between outbursts of excitement and despair. A vicious cycle indeed! I didn’t realize these quickly metabolized carbohydrates briefly made me feel wonderful but then took me from that deceptive, blissful high to a tumultuous low.

I developed a physical dependence from chronic use of chocolate, cookies, cakes, and salty pretzels, which produced a high tolerance to them.

The chemical dependence is related to changes in the addict’s brain chemistry. Those changes involve the “pleasure circuit,” where, because of sensitivity to these substances, certain neurotransmitters and receptors create pleasurable feelings after being stimulated by simple carbohydrates.

With an abrupt deprivation of simple carbs, I experienced withdrawal symptoms, including severe headaches and body aches, and I broke out in a cold sweat and was irritable and fatigued. I found comfort in nothing except returning to sweets and starches.

In order to experience the symptoms of withdrawal, one must have first developed a chemical dependence. This happens after consuming one or more of these substances for a certain period of time, which is both dose dependent and varies based upon the drug consumed.

I first developed a chemical dependence after consuming sweets and salty simple carbohydrates every day in large quantities for months, to the point of being well beyond full. The negative symptoms of withdrawal were the result of abrupt discontinuation or cutting back on the amounts I consumed.

The higher the dose of sugar and starches typically the worse the physical dependence, and thus, the worse the withdrawal symptoms. Withdrawal symptoms can last days, weeks, or months, or on occasion even longer and will vary from individual to individual.

Although my sensitivity to certain foods was well in place in my formative years (and most likely from conception) it was my first real summer job at the local baker that really opened my eyes that I had a problem. My weight soared and I couldn’t stop eating. Answers and solutions only came to me later in life after years of studying, working with patients and making drastic changes in my own life style.

I learned if I numb my feelings through addictive foods I am incapable if action or feeling emotion, blocking joy from my life and entering a vicious cycle. But, but when I allowed myself to be vulnerable and let myself be “seen” rather than anesthetized from addictive foods, I could reach a spiritual awakening and perhaps with my awareness I can drop a seed of hope to others.