Death is so Final

Death is so final. When I learned of Whitney Houston’s untimely death I was greatly saddened—one more addicted person lost their life. The loss of this great icon shadowed my own personal tragedies of people I loved who died before their time. As I reminisce in my mind there are so many losses.

I’ve said too many good byes to friends, family members, acquaintances, and patients but none touched me so deeply as the loss of my best friend Yvonne, which Whitney Huston’s death so mirrored.

I moved to Chicago when I was one notch above adolescents with not a penny to my name, no vehicle, job, or a place of my own to live. After countless attempts to work in an office as a secretary, I landed a job as a hostess in a family owned Italian restaurant and soon graduated to a waitress position followed by bar tending. A quirky, feisty blond with a loud boisterous laugh caught my attention. I knew no one in Chicago and this upbeat, positive blond bombshell named Yvonne, who reminded me of Bette Midler with her looks, voice, and personality, was the first to welcome me and embrace me as her friend.

Yvonne and I were inseparable from the first encounter when I timidly ordered a drink for one of my tables and she sported a toothy grin in response, we clicked—soul mates. Yvonne was a total blast. She laughed easily and cried freely—she felt and expressed her emotions intensely. She brought the fun out in me. We were like Oprah and Gayle King. I was the serious one (like Oprah) yet, if prompted, I had quite the funny bone when I let down my guard and trusted a person into my personal space. Yvonne, on the other hand, was smiley and friendly (like Gayle) and open to anyone and everyone. She was very social, while I preferred to be alone when I wasn’t working or studying.

Our plan was to grow old together and sit in rocking chairs on a front porch, sip on lemonade and recall the “good ole days.” 

And then Yvonne died at the young age of 44.

According to Yvonne’s two sons, their mom mixed alcohol with anti-anxiety medication before going to sleep and didn’t wake up. I was shocked.  This was nearly 15 years ago and yet it seems like yesterday.

Yvonne and I were yin and yang—total opposites, yet our core was the same. We both believed in the Divine Source, psychology, addictions, and family. She had a tendency to over drink and use prescription medication and I was a total “foody”.  Although our family of origins were completely different, we both had very difficult childhoods and coped with our emotions inappropriately. I couldn’t stop eating. She couldn't stop drinking. When she drank it was excessive (whiskey on one rock!) and she dabbled with cocaine. When I ate it was a bag of cookies followed by doughnuts, and topped off with candy bars.

I didn’t understand her disease and she certainly didn’t get mine.

Yvonne’s body was svelte and her blond main blew in the wind. She laughed easily and effortlessly. I had medium length light auburn hair and a plump body and I was ultra conservative and serious. You could say I had a low grade depression while she was hyped.

Yes, Frick and Frack we were.

The death of Whitney Houston brought the death of my dearest and best friend to the surface, although it’s never too far from my mind. Listening to the talk radio hosts poke snide remarks about Whitney made me think about my own addiction (food) and Yvonne’s  addiction (alcohol and prescription medication).

I don’t think anyone on planet earth signs up for a life of total misery with cravings, indulgences, and crashes.  Whether we are born with it or pick it up from our environment, or a combination of the two—it’s devastating. It’s devastating for everyone, the addictive person certainly, and their friends and family, who watch the slow suicide helplessly.

I was one of the fortunate ones—I hung up my food addiction and turned to recovery while around the same time Yvonne took her last breath. I knew I had to get off the merry-go-round and nip this problem in the bud or risk health consequences. I chose abstinence from sugar, flour, and wheat and turned to a Higher Energy  Source(God)—and it worked.  It wasn’t that I was an overnight success but rather it was a process.

Today, only a few short weeks after Whitney Houston’s death, the tabloid buzz has died down—people moved on. How sad one more addicted person’s life taken by the lost battle with addictions. The end of a great icon and the end of my best friend Yvonne, to never hear their laughter and voice, though it’s forever embedded in our memory.

Death is so final. Or is it?  Sometimes when I look up at the stars late at night I find the twinkle mirrors the sparkle in their once wide eyed brown eyes.  Perhaps Yvonne and Whitney are angels—and they'll live on through us                                                                              

http://weightcontroltherapy.com/

Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

10 Ways to Increase the Release of Obsessive Eating

When I first started Dr. Lisa Weight Control Therapy Blog, I really didn’t have any goals or objectives. I just wanted a place to write my thoughts that didn’t fit the academic writing I’m trained for in addiction psychology. As such, I didn’t think I’d have too much of an audience in the beginning. I was wrong. From the start, my thoughts as a practitioner and as an individual in recovery from binge eating disorder and food addiction on topics that addressed obsessive eating, weight control, spiritual recovery, and emotional recovery pulled in interests from around the globe. I learned implementing goals and steps increases the success in the release of obsessive eating. I also learned sharing stories without the academia flare was more palatable.

I won’t bore you with the details, but I now consistently hear and see positive results in my practice and from my blog and/or emails from a wide population seeking to release obsessive eating. I found with the goal to contribute steps to build a strong recovery foundation successes increased. True, it didn’t all happen at once, patients and blog readers confessed there were some ups and downs along the way. I’ve found that the 10 steps below can help any food addict increase their ability to release weight and/or make peace with their obsessive eating—whether it’s a new issue or struggles long lived. 

 Here are my 10 ways to increase the release of obsessive eating:

1.    Remove all forms of sugar from your diet with the exception of fruit for breakfast and a fruit included in the metabolic boost later in the day. Sugar is not just an empty calorie; its effect on the food addict is much more insidious. Obese patients think it’s about the calories, but it has nothing to do with the calories. It’s a poison by itself.  Forget the fact that obesity and diabetes has skyrocketed in America in the past 30 year and it’s responsible for diseases such as heart disease, hypertension, and many common cancers, it also triggers obsessive eating and thinking.

2.    Exercise daily at least 30 minutes. It’s important to exercise because it helps maintain a healthy body, reduce stress, and improves blood circulation. More importantly, it’s important to exercise because exercising is healthy. It’s proven to help peoples overall moods, and their health, such as boosting their immune system. Exercise has also been known to keep your mind healthy as well. Get outside and connect with nature and your Higher Source while you move.

3.    Sleep seven to eight hours each night. Sleep is crucial for overall health. This is because sleep helps your body to recover and rejuvenate from your days stressors, ridding your body of fatigues. It’s your body’s chance to recharge and heal. The only way to rejuvenate all of our organs is to rest the body and sleep. Our brains need time to process all of the information it receives daily. Some even say it’s your time to clear your mind and connect with the Divine Source.

4.    Write a daily gratitude journal. Journal writing is very personal and very intimate. It allows you to tap into your inner feelings and figure out what’s going on for you in your life. Journal writing takes many forms. I, myself, especially enjoy “diary writing,” which for the most part involves the unstructured, chronological recording of the extent of a person’s life. With that, I write daily gratitude posts listing all the blessings and treasure that unfold in daily life.

5.    Meditate daily. Meditation is the act of embracing an open and inviting clear space in the mind. It’s the discovery of a corner of the mind, a quietness within the mind, a sanctuary, a resting place—paradise in the mind, a place of peace. Meditation is performed in quiet—with no agenda. Some individuals meditate by using one word to concentrate on, while others hum one note, and still others focus on something to look at, such as a cloud or flower or even a spot on the wall. Some will use a mantra, repeating it over and over again. In meditation, we spend some time in the spaciousness of not knowing.

6.    Pray throughout the day. The beauty of prayer is that it’s personal. There’s no right way to pray, and there’s no wrong way—just your way. You can talk, sing, sit in silence, dance, cry, run, embrace nature, hug a baby, kiss a puppy, and/or watch a butterfly swirl around a daffodil—all in the name of prayer. Prayer is powerful. Prayer can change your life anywhere, any time—alone in quiet or in the middle of a room full of people. You can be rich, poor, belong to a church, temple, synagogue, or mosque, or sit alone in a field that stretches out as far as the eye can see. Our higher source is everywhere—within us and around us.

7.    Drink at least eight glasses of water daily. Just as plants and animals need water to survive so do human beings need water to survive and function properly. In fact, humans can’t live without drinking for more than a few days before deterioration and death set in.  About 55% of the female body (60% of the male body) is made up of water with the muscles and the brain about 75% water. Although hydration for survival is of the utmost importance in drinking water, drinking water hydrates your skin and makes you look younger, helps fend off hunger, and helps to combat ailments.  All good reasons to include water in your daily ritual. Hmmm, seems it might be a good idea to add pure water to the system!

8.    Eat three balanced meals (breakfast, lunch, and snack) and one metabolic boost (snack) daily every four to five hours. The best way to begin your food recovery journey is to follow a simple formula of having four meals a day and breaking down each meal according to an easy structure of specific foods: fruit, protein, fat, vegetables, low-fat dairy, and whole grains (see weightcontroltherapy.com for detailed menu and food suggestions). I've found, too, that at the beginning, the most workable way to do this is to commit to your food plan prior to the start of your day, rather than merely hoping you'll arrive at this optimal arrangement by random eating.

9.    Hug an adult, child, baby, and/or your fury child several times a day every day. According to the famous family therapist, Virginia Satir, “We need four hugs a day for survival, eight hugs a day for maintenance, and twelve hugs a day for growth.”  In the right setting and situation a hug is the best natural therapy for all kinds of conditions, a sign of approval and affection. It is such a simple uncomplicated gesture that speaks more to the other than actual words.  A simple hug—a universal cure available to all of us—is positive energy transmitted in its simplest and maybe oldest form.  

10.   Laugh, giggle, and smile. A simple smile goes a long way. It immediately puts a person at ease and often is returned spontaneously. Giggles and laughter, like a smile has medicinal benefits. When I think of the benefits of laughter Norman Cousins immediately comes to mind. About 30 years ago Cousins was diagnosed with an incurable and fatal spinal column illness with no known cause or cure. Against the advice of his doctors, he checked out of the hospital and secluded himself in his home reading humorous stories and watching movies that brought tears of laughter hour upon hour for a month only to return to the hospital with marked improvement—no sign of the disease whatsoever.

     Since then, research has shown that the health benefits of laughter are far-reaching including it can help relieve pain, bring greater happiness, and even increase immunity. So, laugh yourself to health—beat down compulsive eating with a good belly laugh. Think of little kids when they laugh so hard they fall down. Like smiling and kindness, laughter is contagious. Imagine if everyone partakes what kind of world we’d be in. Now go giggle....

Photos Taken by: Dr. Lisa
http://weightcontroltherapy.com/