Saturday, November 15, 2008

The Doctor is Human First...


I was just talking to a patient the other day and she was asking me who Dr. Lisa turns to when she is not in the office practicing. The question caught me off guard. As the days progressed I continued to ponder the question. Who do I turn to? I am human first, and then Dr. Lisa. Yes, it is true I spend a good deal of my life working with patients with eating disorders and mood disorders. And, when I am not listening in my office, I am teaching at a university. When I am not teaching or practicing I am working on revising my dissertation (Spiritual Recovery from Food Addiction) for the public audience. I retitled my manuscript: In God's Hand...The Long Journey: A Spiritual Recovery from Food Addiction. No doubt, recovering from food addiction (or any addiction) is a life-long journey.

It is a life-long journey for me as well. Although I have devoted my life to helping others, and I feel like I am in a balanced and centered place, I am human first. So...why is the patient's question, "Who does Dr. Lisa turn to?" still lingering? It always goes back to I must remember I am human first. There once was a time I was struggling with my weight (100 pounds to be exact) and I had no where to turn. I did not understand why my eating was so out of control. How could I weigh 135 pounds one moment and then 234 the next? Up and down with my weight...from 20 pounds to 100 pounds, back up to 50 pounds, down 20...and on and on it would go. Until one day something clicked and I got it. To date, I have released 100 pounds and have maintained this loss for years and years.

Yes, I keep a "normal" weight, and cravings are gone, and it appears as though I am really in a good place. With that said, make no mistake, I am human first and definitely not out of the woods. It is a daily journey. Yes, it is true I do not eat sugar, flour, and wheat, and it seems as though I am skipping along just fine. And...for the most part, I am. But...in all honesty, I do have my days where I wish I could be like everyone (who ever that might be!) else. I wish to eat a chocolate bar, or a piece of cake, or something indulgent. But...the fact of the matter is, I am a food addict. There...I said it. The doc is a food addict. What does that mean? It means I have a chemical imbalance. If I eat certain foods I can not stop eating. I do not have a thermostat that indicates I am full. I will eat and eat...and yes eat some more. I don't know how to eat a piece of cake, only the whole cake and then some.

So...back to the question. Who do I turn to when I am not working in my practice? I could not fine one simple answer. The saying, "it takes a village to raise a child" fits nicely. It takes a village to keep me clear and balanced. My village is built around: God, my twelve-step program, my sponsor, my walks, prayer, mediation, my patients, my students, my family, and my old fashion personal journal I have been keeping since the age of 13. As I was pondering my village, I thought about how great it would be to share my journal with anyone out there feeling they had nobody to turn to when they wanted to eat...or not. So...voila! My first blog is born! I want to share my day to day life with you. And I want to hear about your day to day life. You are not alone...and now I am not alone. I have my anchors: God, nature, prayer, meditation, my sponsor, a twelve-step program, my personal journal, and now you. Thank you!





Photo taken by: Lisa Ortigara Crego