Thanksgiving, Binge Eating, and Leftovers

Be comforted dear soul! There is always light behind the clouds.

~Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

Thanksgiving should be a day of thanks, a day of praise, a day of gratitude, but often for the food addict it’s a day of all out gobbling. Sure, there’s gratitude but it’s not in the front of the addicts mind. Food is!

 

Thanksgiving for the food addict is like line after line of cocaine for the cocaine addict who is trying to abstain. Nobody would think to do that to the recovered drug addict, but little thought is given to the binge eater on this festive day. Heck, she/he should just “control” her food intake and eat in moderation.

Although with good intentions, moderate eating sounds like a simple solution but impossible if the doorway to platter after platter of hot mashed potatoes lathered in gravy, stuffing, hot rolls drenched in butter and one decadent desert after another right is in plain sight with an open invitation—especially once the food addict puts the chemicals (sugar, flour, wheat) into the system which ignites the binge.

Hi, my name is Lisa and I’m a food addict (in recovery!) and I know what the horror of this disease is like, especially on a holiday such as Thanksgiving, and the days to follow.  

Is there always a light behind the clouds?

Can you remain true to your clean eating Thanksgiving weekend with all the leftover festive side dishes ever-so-present every time you open the refrigerator, pantry, or look on the counter tops?  Let’s get real, these foods are calling you and you are blaming yourself for indulging.

It’s not your fault! You have a food addiction and there’s a dark cloud over you.

Food addiction is a loss of control over eating coupled with the physiological tolerance and psychological dependence that occurs when a specific stimulus (food) is ingested. Typically, this addiction can result in negative consequences for basic life functions and relationships with family; social situations; intimate relationships; the sufferers relationship with God and spiritual development; or in relation to the law, health, and work life.

Early in childhood I was fixated on sugar—never getting enough and going to great extremes to obtain it: stealing, hiding and hoarding. Although I didn’t have an awareness of food addiction, I knew something was wrong with my relationship with food. In hindsight, I realized I ate out of control and bargained with myself and God to stop—after this one last pastry.

I felt shame if I got caught stealing food or money to buy food; yet, I didn’t have the mentality to understand I was compulsive eating until my adolescent years when weight began to pile on. And even then I didn’t know there was an actual eating disorder called, binge eating disorder—and that I had it.

The depiction of addiction to food resembles the hallmarks of any addiction. The food addict is caught in the grip of a compulsive, habitual behavior that can’t be controlled.

Thanksgiving was not always a time for me to sit in gratitude. I’m a recovering food addict, and in the past, Thanksgiving marked the eating frenzy that launched my holiday eating. On Thanksgiving day I’d eat until I could eat no more—until the food was all the way up to the rim of my throat and my pants cut into my bulging stomach—promising I’d diet come Monday. And Monday never came.

This Monday, for me,  is just another Monday.  No guilt. No shame. I’ll go forth and continue to eat my four healthy meals spaced four hours  apart—and life goes on—in recovery.

How did you handle your Thanksgiving? What about the leftovers? What would you do differently? 

Photo by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

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http://Weightcontroltherapy.com

Losing Control with Food

I remember when my youngest son Benjamin, at eight years old, blurted out, “I think you’re bipolar Mom!” after witnessing my mood swing from ecstatic to torment following a whirlwind eating frenzy. I used to binge daily on cakes, cookies, ice-cream, and baked potato chips but soon after taking my first bite of a “sugary/salty treat,” I fluctuated between a hair-raising, euphoric “sugar high” and a dark, negative wretchedness.

To make matters worse, my weight swelled to 100 pounds over my ideal weight. From the sugar, I experienced depression, anxiety, and irritability only to return back to such sweets to fend off my melancholy, tranquilize my sense of being ill at ease, and lessen my agony—intense physical and mental suffering. I experienced a violent struggle between outbursts of excitement and despair. A vicious cycle indeed! I didn’t realize these quickly metabolized carbohydrates briefly made me feel wonderful but then took me from that deceptive, blissful high to a tumultuous low.

Hi, my name is Lisa—I’m a food junkie! A food junkie thinks about food every waking moment: She is an addict. I was physiologically dependent on simple carbohydrates such as chocolate, pretzels, and cake. I developed a physical dependence from chronic use of these foods, which produced a high tolerance to them. The chemical dependence is related to changes in the addict’s brain chemistry. Those changes involve the “pleasure circuit,” where, because of a sensitivity to these substances, certain neurotransmitters and receptors create pleasurable feelings after being stimulated by simple carbohydrates.

With an abrupt deprivation of cookies and breads, I experienced withdrawal symptoms, including severe headaches and body aches, and I broke out in a cold sweat and was irritable and fatigued. I found comfort in nothing except returning to sweets and starches. And of course Benjamin witnessed these high and low extremes which often can resemble bipolar disorder. I see this often in my practice when I first begin working with a compulsive eater coming in helpless and hopeless and not understanding why they are suffering with their relationship with food.  I assure them recovery is right around the corner and starts with abstaining from the foods that trigger the issue in the first place.

It’s not to say recovery from the obsession with food is an easy process, because it’s not, but what I do know is it’s doable—I’m living proof. My moods no longer swing from ecstatic to torment after a whirlwind eating frenzy because I no longer binge eat on cakes, cookies, ice-cream, and baked potato chips. Today my foods consist of fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean protein, and low fat dairy and I’m energized—yet calm—no longer do I fluctuate between a hair-raising, euphoric “sugar high” and a dark, negative wretchedness.

What are your experiences? Share in the conversation so readers can learn from you and visa versa.

 

Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

 

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Help! Do I Have an Eating Disorder?

“Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power.”

~Seneca

Have you ever gone back for an extra serving of food when you weren't hungry? How about mindless eating between meals on occasion? I’m sure most of us at some time or another took an additional serving (or two) of food or ate unplanned meals especially during holidays, birthdays, hurricanes and long weekends. Let's face it temptations to over-indulge are all around us. But when is it a problem—an illness?

When was the last time you binged on a block of spinach or a bushel of apples? I'm willing to bet not too often. How about a box of brownies, chocolate chip cookies, or a bag of potato chips? Ah...hitting a nerve am I? If you watch your friends, acquaintances, or how about a stranger in a restaurant, I’m certain you will witness at every turn someone who binge eats. Do you?

So, what makes the difference between an occasional over indulgence and an eating disorder? When is it an eating disorder? And of course addiction plays into the mix too. What about food addiction? To make matters more confusing, when is it binge eating disorder and when it is food addiction? And, could it actually be a combination of the two?
 Let’s face it, millions of Americans hide, steal, and hoard food anticipating a secret binge. After their indulgence they're filled with remorse and shame promising to never over eat again. One of the least discussed and most common eating disorder is binge eating disorder. Binge eating is defined as over eating a large amount of food in a small period of time, at least three times a week for six months or longer. Binge eating, or compulsive eating—as it is more familiarly known—affects more than 20 million people in the United States alone. And yet, we focus more on bulimia nervosa and anorexia when it comes to eating disorders.

Although bulimia and anorexia nervosa are the eating disorders that pop into most minds when discussion of dysfunctional eating surface, in my practice, the majority of my eating disordered patients suffer from binge eating disorder and/or obesity. This isn't to say all bingers are obese or even overweight, because some actually can be of normal weight. Also, not all overweight persons binge eat. And where does food addiction fit into the mix?

 Confusing? Yes, for sure it is…

 The biggest challenge is to sort through whether the patient has food addiction, binge eating disorder, or a combination of the two.

The food addict also eats a large amount of food in a small period of time, and like compulsive eating, it comes with consequences that can be lethal, such as obesity, heart disease, relationship issues, body image, and et cetera. The big difference between the two disorders is food addicts crave specific foods that are uncontrollable no matter what attempts they put forth to stop (i.e., dieting, restricting, exercising, et cetera).

I liken food addiction, an uncontrollable craving for high sugar and processed foods, to recreational drugs such as cocaine, heroin, and nicotine. And the food addict needs to consume the sugary/starchy substance in order to function—to feel "normal." In all addiction cases, the substance dependent consumes larger amounts of their drug for longer periods than were normally intended with persistent desires or repeated unsuccessful attempts to quit—even if it interrupts social, recreational, and family interaction—because the addicted substance takes precedence.

When it comes to treatment for binge eating disorder it is often not about the food but rather about the emotional deficits. When it comes to treatment for food addiction it is about the food—specific foods that trigger the compulsion to consume large amounts of it no matter what the cost. Although binge eating disorder and food addiction share many of the same symptoms, food addiction shares the emotional component of binge eating disorder as well as the symptoms such as obsession with body, weight, mood shifts, closet eating, stealing, where compulsive eating is about the inability to deal with emotions.

I suffered from food addiction and binge eating disorder as far back as I can remember—I just didn't know what it was called. I thought there was something wrong with me mentally. I craved chocolate, doughnuts, chips, and anything gooey and sweet beyond normalcy and I tried every diet under the sun—including diet pills, commercial diet centers, starvation, over exercising, none of which helped me tame the compulsion to eat beyond full in spite of the detrimental consequences, which in my case was obesity.

I wish I knew then what I know now about eating disorders, treatment, and spiritual recovery. Perhaps I could have avoided all the pain and suffering with my weight up and my weight down—an endless battle—until now. Today, I live life without the torture of worrying about getting heavy, craving foods I can’t control the amount of. And spiritually my cup is full.

So, if you are one to eat an extra serving, two, or three beyond holidays, birthdays, hunkered down for hurricanes, and long weekend temptations, when you weren't hungry, to the point of devastating consequences that hamper the quality of your life, perhaps you may suffer from an eating disorder such as food addiction, binge eating disorder (compulsive eating) or both intertwined.

 My 20 years experience as a clinical psychotherapist, a PhD in addiction psychology, certified eating disorder specialist, certified addiction professional, and national board certified clinical hypnotherapist has not only made me a recognized expert in my field, but also made me privy to understanding the experience of those (and myself) releasing their obsessions with food and turning to their connection with the divine energy (known as God for some) and people.

 http://weightcontroltherapy.com/

Photos by Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

 

Six Reasons Dieting Fails for the Food Addict

Before I released excess weight for good and became known as a certified eating disorder specialist (CEDS),  I spent nearly three decades at various arms of diet centers such as Weight Watchers, Ediets, Twelve Step programs, mostly as the recipient of diets initially and worked as a clinical psychotherapist/addiction psychologist certified as an eating disorder specialist later. But a more accurate title for that job in my earlier days might have been certified diet failure doctor and uninformed therapist: while I lost a great deal of weight and showed the way to thousands, I’d watch one after the other go through the revolving door of failed diet plans.

Like the ongoing dieters, I too joined the up and down weight loss program initially. And while it may not be possible to pinpoint what exactly makes for a great weight loss program, it’s pretty easy to identify some of the avoidable mistakes that can virtually guarantee your weight loss and release of food addiction that will get relegated to a success story. See these mistakes below:

1.     DIET CENTER  HOPPER

Mary joined every weight loss center known to mankind with white knuckle determination and gritted teeth. She was going to lose the weight no matter what. And, of course, the no matter what turned into another failure.  Whatever food program you lose weight with is the very same one you will maintain with. If you can’t figure out how to make the “diet” doable for everyday life, you’re probably not on the right food program for a food addict.

2.     DIET BOOKS

Although hundreds of diet books line the shelves of bookstores, virtual and brick and mortar, It’s close to impossible to eradicate every single little mistake in the diet that was not intended for long periods of time. But what’s not really forgivable are promises that you can eat an ounce of dark chocolate daily and a glass of wine with dinner once you reach a certain level in the program. A true food addict cannot indulge even a small morsel of sweetened chocolate and succulent red wine or they’re crashing. A cocaine addict wouldn’t have just a small smidgen of coke once they reached “maintenance” now would they? Of course not!

3.     DIET FADS

Start eating cookies today and lose weight! Yes, YOU read this right you can eat cookies and lose weight. Eat one cookie for breakfast, one for lunch, and a reasonable dinner, and you too can be thin. Diet fashionistas are the perfect candidates to lure to fad diets. The food addict begs, steals, and bargains, promising after this one last binge to never binge-eat again. So offer the cookie diet to the desperate dieter and she's roped in! But the truth be told, after lured, in a short period of time, after the "honeymoon"  has passed, the binge eating resumes. We are addicts and require real food every four to five hours and must avoid sugar, flour, and wheat to prevent a relapse, so fad diets must be avoided—they don't work—not ever.
4.     30 POUNDS OFF IN ONE MONTH DIET

Yes, you read this right. You too can lose 30 pounds in 30 days! Everyone’s winning at their weight loss with our nutritious packed boxed meals. All “gourmet” meals are prepared for you to take the guess work out of preparation. Yeah right. A food addict first would starve as there isn’t enough food in the small box and second, a food addict would go into a full-blown binge because boxed foods are notorious for hidden sugar, flours, and wheat.

5.     ERRORS OF IGNORANCE

Of course you think this time will be different when you go on the “miracle diet” because you are determined NOW. And you’re convinced the special grapefruit concoction, with Brazilian leaves proven to drop weight while you sleep, is a perfect fit for you. Trust me, there is no magical concoction of leaves, plastic suits that enhance sweat, or any other doohickey that works long term. It simply doe not exist not now—not ever. I swear!

6.     THE HARD SELL

Dante’s juicer is proven to cure you of all illness and restore your body to the size when you were a teenager. Millions of satisfied customers are now wearing bathing suits and win the lotto too.   Not.  There is no quick fix. A change of lifestyle, attitude, and a turn toward a Higher Source you have a good chance of success at your weight loss and releasing food addiction.

Yes, no doubt there are tons of promises of weight loss on every corner billboard, magazine, late night television commercial and broadcast on radio signals around the globe. But before I released excess weight for good and became an addiction psychologist,  certified as an eating disorder specialist (CEDS), I toiled nearly three decades making one "diet" mistake after another before realizing what makes a winner at weight loss and recovery and what keeps a person tied to diet mentality committing one diet error after another. It's your turn to stop going through the revolving door of failed diet plans and this time take charge, make a permanent step towards winning and put to rest the vast array of diet mishaps.

http://weightcontroltherapy.com/

You Might be a Food Addict If...

Did you ever eat well beyond full for days upon days without any relief from a full belly? Did you ever eat tray after tray of sweetened pastries? Do you think about eating every wakened moment? Do you shake when you abruptly stop eating certain foods? Have you been on a series of diets with little to no success? Well, if you've said yes to more than three of these questions you just might be a food addict.

Food addiction is defined as an uncontrollable urge for excess food, particularly refined carbohydrates such as sugar and flour substances, which are quick to metabolize. The disease, food addiction, is truly a disease—it's biochemical in nature because the body of the food addict reacts differently to some foods than the bodies of other people. A common link between food addicts is sensitivity to sugars and certain carbohydrates.

Food addiction is often scorned upon by the public, some doctors, and even eating disorder treatment centers. I’ve heard some call this idea cult-like thinking.

Eating disorders are broken down to anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder. As far as eating disorders go, anorexia and bulimia get the most attention. But it turns out that binge eating is the most common. It's not uncommon for a binge eater to wolf down five chocolate eclairs in one sitting and still want for more.

A new survey of more than 9,000 Americans published in the current issue of the Journal of Biological Psychiatry found that binge eating disorder occurs in nearly 4 percent of people, whereas anorexia and bulimia occur in 0.6 percent and 1 percent, respectively.

Binge eaters typically consume more than 1,500 calories in one sitting between meals when they're not particularly hungry, and they binge at least two times a week. As a result, they're five times as likely to be severely obese, which puts them at a greater risk of obesity-related problems like heart disease, diabetes, liver disease, and colon cancer.

Binge eating is an ingredient to food addiction. Not all binge eaters are food addicts; however, all food addicts binge eat. I liken food addiction to heroin or any drug or alcohol addiction in that sufferers find that taking a small taste of chocolate leads them to inhale en entire six-pack of bars followed by a bag of chips and anything else they can get their hands on. This is the same loss of control noted with all addictions followed by the same remorse after. Depression ensues along with self-hate.

Sadly, most binge eaters suffer alone telling no one of their secret never getting the help they need. Psychiatrists tend to treat binge eating as an anxiety/eating disorder prescribing Topamax or Meridia. Yes, these medicines may slow down the urge to eat but it's treating the symptom rather than the problem. Instead, treatment with goals to change and redirect the thoughts, perception, and behavior can produce long term, life changing results. This is not to say medication is not needed in some cases for it most surely is. In some situations medication is needed with therapy.

It's my experience, as a clinician, hypnosis and cognitive/behavioral therapy, along with removing sugar, flour, and wheat from the diet, produces amazing long–term results—quieting the monster within normalizing the eating.

You may be a food addict particularly if you demonstrate the following behaviors several times per week or more:

1. I think about what I’m going to eat at all hours of the day regardless if I just ate a full meal.

2. I plot and plan and worry about cutting down on specific foods. I promise I’ll just eat one slice of cake and save the rest for later, and of course later never comes because I consumed the entire cake.

3. I feel sluggish or fatigued from overeating. I passed out in a nearly finished bowl of spaghetti.

4. I eat past full in spite of pain from my distended stomach.

5. I hide foods and eat them in the locked bathroom (turning on the bath water to drown the sound of opening packages of sweets and crunchy starches) or bedroom where no one can see me.

6. I suffer from withdrawal symptoms when I try to abstain from specific foods like chocolate candy bars, ice cream, cake, or pasta.

7. I steal foods and have left or considered leaving my child unattended to get my food fix.

8. I panic when my “trigger foods” run low or at the thought of never eating them again. I'll simply curl up in a corner and die if I can never eat chocolate cake again!

9. I must have certain foods regardless of who I might hurt to get them.

10.I eat full meals right after I just ate a full meal—there is no full button.

11. I sleep in a reclining chair or with several pillows propped under my head for fear of regurgitation from previously inhaling a large amount of food in a short period of time.

12. I turn down most events to stay home alone to eat.

So, what's the answer to recover from such a debilitating disease?

In my practice I find the most success with patients is combining cognitive behavioral therapy, hypnosis, and for some who are comfortable with a twelve-step anonymous program (Food Addicts Anonymous) geared for spiritual recovery from food addiction.

 
I also suggest eating three meals a day plus a metabolic boost every four hours to prevent hunger and reaching blindly for the wrong foods out of sheer panic.

Avoid sugar, flour, and wheat and instead add fresh fruits, vegetables, lean protein, low fat dairy, whole grains and starches, and a tablespoon of fat to your daily food regime. In addition, eat a wide variety of foods rather than consuming the same types of foods at each meal to avoid developing sensitivity to these foods as well.

Remember to never let yourself get too hungry and carry foods with you when you know you won't be home or close to a place where you can get the right foods.

No doubt it’s challenging to overcome food addiction in our environment, which is almost unlimited amounts of tasty processed foods laced in sugar, fat, and starch but you can, I'm living proof.

Photos by: Benjamin Crego and Dr. Lisa respectively

http://weightcontroltherapy.com/

Total Weight Makeover

"This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson


I barely greeted Mary in the waiting room as she brushed her large framed body past me, marching to my office out of breath fretting, while mumbling she was ten minutes late.  Mary contacted my office a few months ago desperate to lose weight and get a grip on her obsessive volume eating. Mary is most focused on losing weight and less interested in the spiritual and emotional piece of her recovery journey. More than once she (and most of my eating disordered patients) requested to see my heavy pictures to confirm I truly once experienced the caged in desperation she did—that like her, nothing mattered to me except being thin. Reluctantly,  I pulled out two.


In the photo below I was 29 years old and on the upswing again with my weight. I recall gritting my teeth and saying to my best friend Yvonne, who was taking the photo, "Do you have to take a picture of a beached whale?" I rarely got roped into taking pictures because they represented my truth. I was fat. And with that truth I bought into the idea fat meant dumb—a total loser. What I didn't get during that photo shoot was that I was a sad young woman distracted with obsessions of food and weight to avoid living in the present life at hand. 

When I was twelve I began to notice I  spent the largest part of every day thinking about what I wanted to eat that I shouldn't and what I should eat that I didn't. The weight piled on and the diet sagas began. My obsession with weight was more sensational than anything that happened between me and boys, money, or girlfriends. I was totally absorbed in me so I could not be hurt by another person.


When I looked deeply into Mary's sad eyes I saw my own reflection of a once desperate me. I so wanted to save her, to pull her out of the misery she's swallowed up in—to convince her there is a better way than jumping on one diet after another.  Mary, like many compulsive eaters, believes if she loses weight she'll attract a desirable man and that all of her "issues" will miraculously disappear. But truth be told, what she's really doing is numbing out with food to avoid the chance of being rejected by someone, hence blaming the problem on the weight. A true vicious cycle. Mary claims she wants to experience blissful love but blames her excess weight from making her dreams come true.


Is this truly what's going on? Mary's rejected by men because of her body? Or is Mary blocking her emotions to men with food. Mary doesn't know how to engage herself with a person, only with food. Oh sure Mary had sexual encounters and short stint relationships but she avoided intimacy—surrendering totally to another with deliberateness to face, rather than run from, the worst of herself. She didn't dare allow herself to be vulnerable to another, instead she blamed food and her obsession with her body to take over present living. As long as Mary eats compulsively, her life is about what she eats, how much she eats, how much she weighs, and what she will look like, dress like, when she stops addictive eating. A scenario I was once quite familiar with.


Yes, it's true Mary grieves her unhappy childhood and will never be able to re-write the script. She missed it: a mother's love, a father's acceptance, sleep overs with girlfriends, the feeling that she mattered—that she was important to someone—anyone.  No, she will never get the childhood do-over she's been screaming about for fifty five years. Screaming and flailing fists is not emotional, spiritual, or physical healing.  Emotional, spiritual, and physical healing is another story—a different journey.


The first step in Mary's healing is to own the truth of her childhood story and acknowledge her losses—grieve about them. And to  know she is not her story. She doesn't have to define her existence as the little girl who was abused and never got the love she so yearned for, hence making it the same adult story.  To no longer identity with the lost child and begin living in the present instead of living in reaction to the past.

My second photo, I reluctantly showed Mary, was of me sitting under an orange tree on a breezy spring afternoon in South Florida trying to hide my body behind the baby—so ashamed to once again get caught in a picture. 


My focus today is on living my best healthy life not my weight or what I ate or failed to eat. I now recognize that my obsession with diets and weight was a game—it wasn't being thin I wanted, it was getting thin. It was a game of diet-binge-diet, only to once again binge.  I  would rush out to purchase a pile of junk food shoveling it into my mouth as fast as I could while simultaneously reading the newest diet book on the market. Mary does the same thing.


I want for Mary what I now know—and that is, diets don't work nor does diet mentality. When Mary lets go of the focus on her weight and the newest diet offered and instead puts her attention on spiritual and emotional recovery her gift is physical recovery. It works every time, all the time.


The last photo, which again I reluctantly bring to you the reader, is how I look today. Although I am not my body, that I'm much more than a frame, people want to see and know that it's possible to reach a "normal" weight (whatever that might be for you) without putting the attention on the weight.


This is the miracle.


Put your attention on your spiritual recovery; daily eat three meals and a half-meal consisting of foods that are whole and balanced; run, dance, walk, or do jumping jacks (whatever moves you); and connect to the Divine Source—and watch—watch for the miracle.










http://weightcontroltherapy.com/

Nope, I Didn’t Eat the Chocolate Bunny Ears...

On April 11, in 1998, Holy Saturday the eve before Easter, my Mom had a massive stroke. My life has never been the same. She lived on four more years paralyzed until she passed away on February 7, 2002.

Time does go on, I’ve learned.

This past Sunday Easter morning I walked my dog Sage, and of course without fail my mind wandered, as I recalled the night I got the call from dad that mom had a stroke, but quickly I was distracted by loud commotion. A small child bellowed, “It’s mine!”  Looking his way, evidence of melted chocolate oozed down his lower lip dribbling to his chin. His frantic Mom seized the chocolate earless bunny, which brought on the rage, in her attempt to salvage his Easter outfit.

This scene was all too familiar, with the exception it was this little boy rather than me, a grown woman stuffing chocolate into my mouth as fast as I could—and don’t anybody dare try and take it away from me. Back in my eating frenzy days I was like a wild animal gnarling and hissing to protect my goods. As I marched on past the little teary eyed boy, personal memories continued to flood my thoughts as I replayed chocolate binge eating often brought on Easter morning with baskets of available goodies.  

Today, for me, times have changed. Easter this year fell on April 8 and I moved through it like it was any other day with food—I honored it as a holy day filled with grace and serenity. Before mom’s stroke, we spent every Easter together on the west coast at our family-owned beach home, with my then young son Benjamin, where I feasted on anything and everything I could get my hands on to eat.

Yes, I recall all the good times and the not so good times as I walked on.

I fought excessive weight and binge eating most of my life from adolescence to well into my thirties. At times I was a hundred pounds over my "normal" weight. Up and down I went. I think it was my Mom's weight that prompted me to focus on my own health and weight. I believe her obesity shortened her life. I believe today I understand weight and eating disorders as a result of my Mom's life and my genetic line. I also understand we don't have to take our gene pool as the written law.
We can change it!

As a result of my compulsive eating, it was inevitable I’d be at risk of severe obesity, which put me at a greater risk of obesity-related problems, such as heart disease, diabetes, liver disease, and possible colon cancer—with the enormous amounts of foods passing through my digestive tract, not intended to process at such a drastic rate. As I neared 235 pounds on my five-foot, six-inch frame, I knew I was in deep trouble in every respect.

I learned for me I could make choices and live my life in a healthier manner, or...I could struggle forever. I decided to change my thinking. I believe in the power of the mind. I believe we can be anything we want to be. I decided to put my energy into learning about the subconscious mind and made a shift. I found hypnosis and my connection to a Higher Energy great tools to assist with the changing of the mind and ultimate change with my relationship with food; hence the weight corrected.

I began my self-healing through changing my thought pattern stating, “I am thin” as opposed to “I’m fat” and began to visualize and imagine a thin me—to "be" thin and ultimately act thin which opened and connected me to my Divine Source with miraculous results. My food choices slowly changed and sugar, flour, and wheat were eliminated. It was a slow process of progress not perfection. In time, slowly and steadily, my weight corrected, cravings disappeared, and I became quite happy living my best life.

Today, my weight ranges between 136 and 140 pounds. I went from dire obesity to a weight considered normal for my height. My motivation for earning a master’s in mental health and a PhD in addictions was to work with the eating disordered–to bring help and hope through hypnosis and psychotherapy to the many who fight this insidious disease every breathing moment of their lives.

While I worked on the initial gathering and digestion of information for my dissertation—and ultimately, In God’s Hand: Release the Obsession with Food, I took several long weekend retreats in the little sleepy town of Madeira Beach, Florida and stayed at my family beach house—the very same house I shared many Easters with mom—filled with childhood memories of losses and new beginnings, tears and laughter, binges and diets. I took long walks along the seashore, steeped in self-reflection over what I’d discovered from my research and from re-reading personal accounts of the various stages of my eating disorder, both in full bloom and in recovery.

On this anniversary week of my Mom's massive stroke, I think about what if Mom would have caught the blessing I did, and she ate clean and healthy. Would she be here today? Who knows! I know I can't go back and do the “what ifs,” but I can live in the now and learn from her mistakes and spread the news there is recovery for all.

My own spirituality and recovery from addictive eating has enhanced new ways of accepting my life of living in my world and of understanding that this is my life—living vigilant, ever awake and alert, abstaining from trigger foods, in constant search of spiritual growth.



http://weightcontroltherapy.com/

Photos taken by: Lisa Ortigara Crego

Why Are You Writing This Book?

A few years ago I attempted to retain the services of an editor to assist me with the mechanics of my book on spiritual recovery from food addiction. The first question she asked me was, “Why are you writing this book?” Why? Hmmm. Well, I stammered through a sentence or two saying something to the fact that I wanted to help people. Silence on the other end, not even the sound of her breath was heard.

After hanging up from a difficult call, I thought hard and deep on why I invested so much time writing my book. From that moment forward I wrote and rewrote and wrote again to the point of where my book, In God’s Hand: Release the Obsession with Food, morphed into work I’m quite proud of.  I learned from that call, and a failed attempt, to string my efforts into the right pattern on exactly how to answer that very question to anyone who cared to ask.

Why am I writing this book?  Why was I taking a dissertation that was stale and breathing life into a book for a wide audience of therapists, eating disordered persons, and those struggling with weight issues in general? I knew for a fact I didn’t write this book for notoriety, fame, money, or to see my name in print.

I wrote In God’s Hand: Release the Obsession with Food for us, who are alone with the monster (Food) every single day and trying to control it and not let it control us.

I wrote because living with an addiction to specific foods that result in compulsive overeating is an unsolicited and difficult path to venture alone. I know when I was struggling with obsessing and bingeing on food I had no idea where to turn. I was lost and scared and didn’t understand why I couldn’t stop eating to the point my weight was nearly 100 pounds over the suggested healthy weight.  I thought something was wrong with me. First I thought I was crazy, and then wondered if I had a physical problem—or perhaps God was angry with me. Or, I was weak and had no control.

Compulsive eaters most often don’t recognize that they have sensitivities to certain foods but rather believe something is wrong with them when they can’t manage their food intake in “normal” amounts—especially in regard to carbohydrates. Often, for this group of individuals, excess weight, mood swings, extreme fatigue, and irritability are everyday occurrences. Seeking answers to what is actually a disease may not be the obvious road for the sufferer to travel, so blaming self for lack of willpower becomes the daily, inner rant.

Compulsive eaters at nearly every stage of their misery pick up self-help books, try fad diets, join diet clubs, and sometimes even enter treatment centers for eating disorders—all of which are structured to help inform and “cure” them of their debilitation. But the books, diet centers, counselors, and eating disorder treatment facilities generally do not address the actual food sensitivity or the sufferer’s ultimate spiritual depletion. Instead, these turn the afflicted addict loose clutching a Band-Aid solution (diet) without looking more deeply into the food sensitivity and spiritual bankruptcy plaguing the food disordered person’s very soul.

In God’s Hand: Release the Obsession with Food addresses those who seek recovery from binge eating and/or food addiction and who define themselves as “spiritual.” My book illuminates the experience of living with food addiction, recovery, and movement in the direction of spiritual revitalization. This is not a ten-step formula for losing weight and/or being “cured” of a compulsive eating disorder—because losing weight is not the focus of the book, and food addiction is a lifelong disease that can only be dealt with one day at a time. But what this book does promise is an increased connection to a self-defined spiritual sense, allowing readers to release a previously unbreakable obsession with what they eat. The book will not be one among many commonplace offerings, but will provide rather an exclusive, in-depth account as to what it is like to live with a compulsive eating disorder—versus confronting one’s inner demons, moving into spiritual awareness, and handling various situations for genuine recovery

I didn't have the experience or the know-how to understand what was wrong with me before studying eating disorders and weight related topics at length.  Now I know.  I would like my book to reach out to the teenager suffering perhaps with weight, acne, and loneliness, filled with remorse and shame because she doesn’t know how to stop eating. I would like to say it’s going to be okay—it isn't your fault, let me show you the way out.

I wish when I was a pimpled, fat, lonly13 year old, standing in front of the fridge shoveling food in not fast enough, someone would have said let me explain to you what's going on with your body, mind, and emotions. Would I have listened? I’m not sure, but I wish I had at least the option.

I'm writing this book for the young adult who is obese and can’t play with her/his children because the food obsession will not let up and they feel there is no way out. Clothes are tight and moods are up and down. There is no energy to play with the children, besides the mind won’t let go of the obsession of getting food or burning the calories already consumed.

I write to tell the moms and dads how sad I was in my young years and how alone I felt and my parents didn’t know. I want to tell them I was scared and wished I could tell someone but feared rejection or lack of understanding. I wanted to know why I was eating out of control and my siblings were not. I was so bleeping scared and had nobody to tell. I know this struggle all to well. I want to tell every mom and dad to pay attention to your little girl or boy and notice if they are isolating and rarely laugh. Reach out to the child and show them the way to peace and freedom from cravings and to a strong and healthy physical body. And if you can’t do this then find someone who can. I don’t want one more child alone with this disease. And if we can save a child then they won’t grow into a lonely, isolating adult and pass this down to their children. I want to break the chain.

I'm writing this book for doctors and therapists to let them know this obsession is real and to treat it with the right foods, exercise, and spiritual connection. That cutting patients stomachs to reroute their food and/or cutting and filling their stomachs with fill is a wasted effort if they aren't educated about trigger foods.

I write for my sons, husband, father, and sibling to tell them about my struggles and triumphs. I am writing this book for my mom who no longer is here because her obsessions and cravings led to a massive stroke and took her life before her time. I'm writing this book for my best friend Yvonne (who died before her time) who always tried to help and to understand me and believed I could eat trigger foods in moderation—not understanding one bite of certain foods sent me down the road of bingeing and not returning. I am reaching out to cousins who have the same problem as I do to know it's genetic and not their fault.

And most of all, I am writing this book for me to work through and understand all my struggles. To understand why I made some of the poor choices I made. To reflect on how lonely and scared I was most of my life.

I am writing this book to stare down the doubters, the scoffers, the misunderstood, the authorities, the government. Our children are in trouble. We need to rise up and face this situation now.

I am writing this book to save my patients from a disease that kills. I am writing this book because God wants me to write and He will guide me throughout the process no matter how long it takes, no matter how high my mountain will be.

Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego
http://weightcontroltherapy.com/

Death is so Final

Death is so final. When I learned of Whitney Houston’s untimely death I was greatly saddened—one more addicted person lost their life. The loss of this great icon shadowed my own personal tragedies of people I loved who died before their time. As I reminisce in my mind there are so many losses.

I’ve said too many good byes to friends, family members, acquaintances, and patients but none touched me so deeply as the loss of my best friend Yvonne, which Whitney Huston’s death so mirrored.

I moved to Chicago when I was one notch above adolescents with not a penny to my name, no vehicle, job, or a place of my own to live. After countless attempts to work in an office as a secretary, I landed a job as a hostess in a family owned Italian restaurant and soon graduated to a waitress position followed by bar tending. A quirky, feisty blond with a loud boisterous laugh caught my attention. I knew no one in Chicago and this upbeat, positive blond bombshell named Yvonne, who reminded me of Bette Midler with her looks, voice, and personality, was the first to welcome me and embrace me as her friend.

Yvonne and I were inseparable from the first encounter when I timidly ordered a drink for one of my tables and she sported a toothy grin in response, we clicked—soul mates. Yvonne was a total blast. She laughed easily and cried freely—she felt and expressed her emotions intensely. She brought the fun out in me. We were like Oprah and Gayle King. I was the serious one (like Oprah) yet, if prompted, I had quite the funny bone when I let down my guard and trusted a person into my personal space. Yvonne, on the other hand, was smiley and friendly (like Gayle) and open to anyone and everyone. She was very social, while I preferred to be alone when I wasn’t working or studying.

Our plan was to grow old together and sit in rocking chairs on a front porch, sip on lemonade and recall the “good ole days.” 

And then Yvonne died at the young age of 44.

According to Yvonne’s two sons, their mom mixed alcohol with anti-anxiety medication before going to sleep and didn’t wake up. I was shocked.  This was nearly 15 years ago and yet it seems like yesterday.

Yvonne and I were yin and yang—total opposites, yet our core was the same. We both believed in the Divine Source, psychology, addictions, and family. She had a tendency to over drink and use prescription medication and I was a total “foody”.  Although our family of origins were completely different, we both had very difficult childhoods and coped with our emotions inappropriately. I couldn’t stop eating. She couldn't stop drinking. When she drank it was excessive (whiskey on one rock!) and she dabbled with cocaine. When I ate it was a bag of cookies followed by doughnuts, and topped off with candy bars.

I didn’t understand her disease and she certainly didn’t get mine.

Yvonne’s body was svelte and her blond main blew in the wind. She laughed easily and effortlessly. I had medium length light auburn hair and a plump body and I was ultra conservative and serious. You could say I had a low grade depression while she was hyped.

Yes, Frick and Frack we were.

The death of Whitney Houston brought the death of my dearest and best friend to the surface, although it’s never too far from my mind. Listening to the talk radio hosts poke snide remarks about Whitney made me think about my own addiction (food) and Yvonne’s  addiction (alcohol and prescription medication).

I don’t think anyone on planet earth signs up for a life of total misery with cravings, indulgences, and crashes.  Whether we are born with it or pick it up from our environment, or a combination of the two—it’s devastating. It’s devastating for everyone, the addictive person certainly, and their friends and family, who watch the slow suicide helplessly.

I was one of the fortunate ones—I hung up my food addiction and turned to recovery while around the same time Yvonne took her last breath. I knew I had to get off the merry-go-round and nip this problem in the bud or risk health consequences. I chose abstinence from sugar, flour, and wheat and turned to a Higher Energy  Source(God)—and it worked.  It wasn’t that I was an overnight success but rather it was a process.

Today, only a few short weeks after Whitney Houston’s death, the tabloid buzz has died down—people moved on. How sad one more addicted person’s life taken by the lost battle with addictions. The end of a great icon and the end of my best friend Yvonne, to never hear their laughter and voice, though it’s forever embedded in our memory.

Death is so final. Or is it?  Sometimes when I look up at the stars late at night I find the twinkle mirrors the sparkle in their once wide eyed brown eyes.  Perhaps Yvonne and Whitney are angels—and they'll live on through us                                                                              

http://weightcontroltherapy.com/

Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

10 Ways to Increase the Release of Obsessive Eating

When I first started Dr. Lisa Weight Control Therapy Blog, I really didn’t have any goals or objectives. I just wanted a place to write my thoughts that didn’t fit the academic writing I’m trained for in addiction psychology. As such, I didn’t think I’d have too much of an audience in the beginning. I was wrong. From the start, my thoughts as a practitioner and as an individual in recovery from binge eating disorder and food addiction on topics that addressed obsessive eating, weight control, spiritual recovery, and emotional recovery pulled in interests from around the globe. I learned implementing goals and steps increases the success in the release of obsessive eating. I also learned sharing stories without the academia flare was more palatable.

I won’t bore you with the details, but I now consistently hear and see positive results in my practice and from my blog and/or emails from a wide population seeking to release obsessive eating. I found with the goal to contribute steps to build a strong recovery foundation successes increased. True, it didn’t all happen at once, patients and blog readers confessed there were some ups and downs along the way. I’ve found that the 10 steps below can help any food addict increase their ability to release weight and/or make peace with their obsessive eating—whether it’s a new issue or struggles long lived. 

 Here are my 10 ways to increase the release of obsessive eating:

1.    Remove all forms of sugar from your diet with the exception of fruit for breakfast and a fruit included in the metabolic boost later in the day. Sugar is not just an empty calorie; its effect on the food addict is much more insidious. Obese patients think it’s about the calories, but it has nothing to do with the calories. It’s a poison by itself.  Forget the fact that obesity and diabetes has skyrocketed in America in the past 30 year and it’s responsible for diseases such as heart disease, hypertension, and many common cancers, it also triggers obsessive eating and thinking.

2.    Exercise daily at least 30 minutes. It’s important to exercise because it helps maintain a healthy body, reduce stress, and improves blood circulation. More importantly, it’s important to exercise because exercising is healthy. It’s proven to help peoples overall moods, and their health, such as boosting their immune system. Exercise has also been known to keep your mind healthy as well. Get outside and connect with nature and your Higher Source while you move.

3.    Sleep seven to eight hours each night. Sleep is crucial for overall health. This is because sleep helps your body to recover and rejuvenate from your days stressors, ridding your body of fatigues. It’s your body’s chance to recharge and heal. The only way to rejuvenate all of our organs is to rest the body and sleep. Our brains need time to process all of the information it receives daily. Some even say it’s your time to clear your mind and connect with the Divine Source.

4.    Write a daily gratitude journal. Journal writing is very personal and very intimate. It allows you to tap into your inner feelings and figure out what’s going on for you in your life. Journal writing takes many forms. I, myself, especially enjoy “diary writing,” which for the most part involves the unstructured, chronological recording of the extent of a person’s life. With that, I write daily gratitude posts listing all the blessings and treasure that unfold in daily life.

5.    Meditate daily. Meditation is the act of embracing an open and inviting clear space in the mind. It’s the discovery of a corner of the mind, a quietness within the mind, a sanctuary, a resting place—paradise in the mind, a place of peace. Meditation is performed in quiet—with no agenda. Some individuals meditate by using one word to concentrate on, while others hum one note, and still others focus on something to look at, such as a cloud or flower or even a spot on the wall. Some will use a mantra, repeating it over and over again. In meditation, we spend some time in the spaciousness of not knowing.

6.    Pray throughout the day. The beauty of prayer is that it’s personal. There’s no right way to pray, and there’s no wrong way—just your way. You can talk, sing, sit in silence, dance, cry, run, embrace nature, hug a baby, kiss a puppy, and/or watch a butterfly swirl around a daffodil—all in the name of prayer. Prayer is powerful. Prayer can change your life anywhere, any time—alone in quiet or in the middle of a room full of people. You can be rich, poor, belong to a church, temple, synagogue, or mosque, or sit alone in a field that stretches out as far as the eye can see. Our higher source is everywhere—within us and around us.

7.    Drink at least eight glasses of water daily. Just as plants and animals need water to survive so do human beings need water to survive and function properly. In fact, humans can’t live without drinking for more than a few days before deterioration and death set in.  About 55% of the female body (60% of the male body) is made up of water with the muscles and the brain about 75% water. Although hydration for survival is of the utmost importance in drinking water, drinking water hydrates your skin and makes you look younger, helps fend off hunger, and helps to combat ailments.  All good reasons to include water in your daily ritual. Hmmm, seems it might be a good idea to add pure water to the system!

8.    Eat three balanced meals (breakfast, lunch, and snack) and one metabolic boost (snack) daily every four to five hours. The best way to begin your food recovery journey is to follow a simple formula of having four meals a day and breaking down each meal according to an easy structure of specific foods: fruit, protein, fat, vegetables, low-fat dairy, and whole grains (see weightcontroltherapy.com for detailed menu and food suggestions). I've found, too, that at the beginning, the most workable way to do this is to commit to your food plan prior to the start of your day, rather than merely hoping you'll arrive at this optimal arrangement by random eating.

9.    Hug an adult, child, baby, and/or your fury child several times a day every day. According to the famous family therapist, Virginia Satir, “We need four hugs a day for survival, eight hugs a day for maintenance, and twelve hugs a day for growth.”  In the right setting and situation a hug is the best natural therapy for all kinds of conditions, a sign of approval and affection. It is such a simple uncomplicated gesture that speaks more to the other than actual words.  A simple hug—a universal cure available to all of us—is positive energy transmitted in its simplest and maybe oldest form.  

10.   Laugh, giggle, and smile. A simple smile goes a long way. It immediately puts a person at ease and often is returned spontaneously. Giggles and laughter, like a smile has medicinal benefits. When I think of the benefits of laughter Norman Cousins immediately comes to mind. About 30 years ago Cousins was diagnosed with an incurable and fatal spinal column illness with no known cause or cure. Against the advice of his doctors, he checked out of the hospital and secluded himself in his home reading humorous stories and watching movies that brought tears of laughter hour upon hour for a month only to return to the hospital with marked improvement—no sign of the disease whatsoever.

     Since then, research has shown that the health benefits of laughter are far-reaching including it can help relieve pain, bring greater happiness, and even increase immunity. So, laugh yourself to health—beat down compulsive eating with a good belly laugh. Think of little kids when they laugh so hard they fall down. Like smiling and kindness, laughter is contagious. Imagine if everyone partakes what kind of world we’d be in. Now go giggle....

Photos Taken by: Dr. Lisa
http://weightcontroltherapy.com/