Today was one of those incredible days. I took a long walk along the beach and was in total awe at the magnificence of the sea. With each step I was able to give thanks for all my blessings that continue to flow into my life. I remember a time when walking was so difficult for me. I remember a time when my inner thighs rubbed together causing blisters because my weight was nearly 100 pounds more than my body could handle.
This very spot on the beach brings back so many memories. I have been walking this very beach for nearly 40 years. I remember the first time when I was barely 13 years of age. This was the beginning of my preoccupation with food. I thought I just did not have "will" power. Now I realize it had nothing to do with will power and everything to do with a chemical imbalance. I did not know back then that I could not tolerate sugar, flour, and wheat. All I knew was that I had uncontrollable cravings and never seemed to fill up. I thought there was something wrong with me because I had no control over my food.
Today, as my feet felt the warmth of the soft sand and cool water as it lapped up to my ankles, I felt so free. Free from the pain that comes from actively eating addictive foods. I am in such a different frame of mind compared to those yesteryears. Today, I practice active recovery from food addiction. I eat my three balanced meals at the same time each day and a metabolic snack, and I am good. I don't need anything more or less. My body is able to operate at an optimal level and all guilt and shame is completely wiped away. My body is of a "normal" weight, and on and off dieting is no longer a part of my life. Instead, I adopt a healthy lifestyle, which includes, walking, biking, meditating, playing, praying, eating healthy "real" foods, and tyring to stay spiritually balanced.
Today was one of those incredible days that you wish you could bottle up and have it forever. I am grateful and thankful for the beach today, and to be able to walk with no strain. I am blessed with a healthy body and a healthy mind. Life is good! I am thankful...
Photo taken by: Lisa Ortigara Crego
2 comments:
The day I made the call
Wow! 2 years since I made the call. After 22 years of binging and purging I had enough. I was so tired of being consumed with thoughts of food. My weight fluctuated and I had awful mood swings. I found Dr Lisa's web site. Something clicked I made the call. Dr Lisa called me back I asked her if there really was a way out of this all consuming eating disorder. She said yes. I thank G-d every day for helping me find Dr Lisa. She has helped me change my life.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Well it's been 2 years since I made the call. (and 3 attempts to create this post. This time I will try to click save)
For 22 years I had hid an eating disorder. Up and down my weight would fluctuated. I would have terrible mood swings. My mind was always consumed with thoughts of food. I was always a closet eater. I never minded being alone because then I could gorge on whatever I wanted. I had such an issue with fast food restaurants. The drive thru's are so tempting. Sometimes I would go through more than one for a cheap treat. I had faced way too many toilet seats. I would walk miles and still buy a candy bar. I felt like a junky. Sugar was my drug.
I had had enough I was 41 years old. I did not want to die.
I needed to try to get healthy. I wanted to be a healthy, strong role model for my children.
Two years ago I looked on the Internet for help. One option was an inpatient hospital. That was not an option for me I needed to be with my children. Then I found Dr Lisa's website. Something clicked in me. I called and left a message. Well Dr Lisa called me ,I was in the middle of the grocery store with a cart full of junk. I asked if if she thought there could be any help for me. She said yes. I made the appointment. (yes I still bought that junk)
I was always skeptical about psychologist but I was really really ready to get help. I did not want to continue my life being consumed with food. Dr Lisa is an amazing person. She has helped me in ways I did not think possible. Today 2 years later I as so proud to say that I am sugar, flour and wheat free. I eat clean and it really helps keep your mind clear and your body healthy.
Posted by teebo at 11:28 AM 0 comments
What an inspiration you are to the many who will be reading your story! Your mind was made up, which is half the battle of beating an eating disorder. Thank you for giving hope to the many who are still suffering!
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