New Year’s Resolution: Stop Dieting and Start Winning in Weight Loss Control!

Mary, a fairly new patient, bolted through the waiting room sprinting to my office like she was running a 10 K marathon. Breathless, she plopped down sinking deep into my hunter green couch, perspiration trickling down her face, and announced, “I’m starting a 500 calorie diet to get rid of this weight once and for all!,”  as she grabbed a fist full of fat from her expanded waist.

 As I listened to Mary promise with such conviction on how she would lose her weight—that she owned the "secret" to drop weight quickly, I felt Mary’s pain and urgency.  Not only do I understand Mary,  I lived her desperation—starting and ending every fad diet inmaginable for over 30 years of my life.  I promised to lose the weight—that I had the quick weight loss secret. One hundred pounds heavier after a series of diets brought me to my knees begging for a transformation.

I couldn’t help responding abruptly to Mary, “Stop, don’t do it! Do not make another New Year’s resolution to diet as it leads to yo yo dieting.”

When I explain to patients what’s really going on with desperate dieting followed by binge eating I often see a twinkle in their eye as they nod, bobbing their head like a dolphin dancing on the ocean top delighted direction is coming.

Mary is a food addict. As she begins to “get it” she has an Oprah “light bulb moment!” realizing that her up and down weight loss is not her fault, but rather from years of dieting and addictive eating.

Today, especially the first day of January, promises of food restriction, clamping teeth shut determined to eat 500 calories a day is a recipe for disaster.

Let’s be clear: There’s no such diet or trick or secret as losing 20, 40, 60 or whatever number of pounds you want to lose in a few short weeks and or months. Mary’s 500 calorie diet sets her up for quick weight loss followed by quick weight gain. I know, been there done that a million times.

Where to begin?  Let’s start with four points:

 

Ø  Admit you are out of control with food. This first step is not easy but it’s a start point to release the obsession with food.

Ø  Understand sugar, flour, and wheat are drugs to many binge eaters. Mary reminds me of the addict who promises they’ll never take another hit, snort, or shoot up again, without admission to the addictive components. Coming from a "will power" frame of mind is sure to fail.

Ø  Develop a spiritual connection to something greater than yourself. Call it God, Yahweh, or Lucy, whatever—just connect to your Divine Source. Mary is two hundred pounds overweight. She is a prisoner in her own body. Addictions are stronger and bigger than our will to stop using, we can’t do it alone.

Ø  Take one day at a time and practice recovery. Mary must let go of the "quick" fix ideation. When humble and focused she can work a whole, natural food plan free of sugar, flour, and wheat. In the here and now, working her program one meal at a time with progress not perfection, I think she’ll make it to the other side: thin and healthy.

 
When I was in the food I promised I would stop. I too vowed to lose the weight and never binge again. I meant it! Once I dropped some weight and started looking good I fell deep into a binge. It wasn’t until I realized I had to let go of the addictive foods I became free of the obsessions and cravings. It’s not a question of will power but rather of letting go of an addiction to specific foods. As simple as it sounds it worked. My weight corrected and I am free of cravings.

 Many patients I work with also are free from cravings and have returned to their normal weight. I wish I could say they all followed my path, but truth be told, many are on the same ride as Mary, believing there’s a quick fix often losing only to gain more weight than what they started with.

Successful patients have a clear understanding it’s a process and that it takes time if they want to enter long-term success.  Eat balanced meals one day at a time is the ticket to recovery.

Although I did not hear specific talk about spiritual recovery, Mary is beginning to echo thoughts regarding some Higher Force to carry her through the process. She grasps it’s not about the food, nor is it about the weight, it’s an addiction to food. It is about turning to a physical, emotional, and spiritual recovery.

 

 

Photos taken by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

 

*Weightcontroltherapy.com, founded in 2001, offers the public an opportunity to explore  why you eat what you eat and to better understand why food can cause your moods to swing, your cravings to soar, your weight to increase, your self-esteem to plummet, and your fatigue to rage. I blog posts to share experiences, light the flame of hope for all to conquer their poor relationship physically, emotionally, and spiritually to food.

Is It Time To  Clear Your Space?

I flicked on the light, plugged in my fountain and oil lamp, opened the blinds to let the natural light in and rolled up my sleeves prepared to dig into my chore ahead.  At the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve I resolved to clear out clutter in my office and open my work space to rekindle the spiritual energy my office is known for. I spent an entire day dusting, vacuuming, scrubbing window ledges and shredding patient files older than seven years so I’d have space for the stack of files behind my chair, heaped on my desk and tucked in the credenza. I had my work cut out for me.

 
As I moved in silence, from one task to the next, memories of patients swirled in my mind. My heart ached as I came across several patients who died over the years. We bonded—swapped eating disorder war stories—and grew in spiritual, emotional, and physical recovery.
 

When I happened upon Martin’s file (anonymous name), caressing his folder as if he were still present, I remembered the first session of psychotherapy and hypnosis, how trapped he’d become in his body. Martin carried two hundred extra pounds on his 5’10” frame. Without opening his file, all our past conversations bubbled up within me. Like many of my patients, Martin believed therapy with me was his last strand of hope to release his obsession with food.

We began our session with the standard questions I ask during the collection of data phase when first working with a patient. Once I had gathered the medical, psychological, family, and work history I moved into personal belief systems to uncover hidden blocks and buried issues with regards to his eating disorder. I asked Martin, “Do you believe you are responsible for your own recovery? Is it the trigger food(s), or your lack of spiritual connection, or both, that prevent you from recovery? Can your recovery take precedence over an obsession with and addiction to the idea of weight loss? Are you ready to clear out the clutter in your thought process?

 
We discussed different approaches to treating his disordered eating and obesity. I suggested a program of recovery can include but need not be limited to: psychotherapy, a Twelve-Step program, an `anonymous’ support group, the advice of a nutritionist experienced in food addiction, and a prayer group—or a church, synagogue, or mosque group. And the list goes on. I asked, “Which components from this list attract your attention?” He opted for therapy, a nutritionist, and a prayer group affiliated with his church and Twelve-Step program addressing his compulsive eating.

It’s my belief if you’re not in peak condition, mentally, physically, spiritually—if you’re not “right” with your surroundings, and comfortable in your own skin, your full potential will be stunted. Martin believed this to be true, that in order to open his full potential he needed to tap into any and all help available and clear out the clutter in his thought process.

Many of us undergo serious health consequences as a result of food abuse. Initially Martin’s recovery from compulsive eating was out of a medical necessity—raging cholesterol—which led him to seek a doctor of addiction psychology for food addiction. 

 

Most of society doesn’t understand or accept food addiction as a real condition. In fact, people tend to be more understanding when an alcoholic doesn’t drink because so many people don’t drink today, either because they have a problem with alcohol, take medication, or they don’t want to drink and drive. Moreover, alcoholism is seen as an addiction; whereas, this isn't the case with food addiction.

Although Martin managed to reach and maintain a healthy weight, he died at 57 from congestive heart failure, which most likely resulted from lifelong poor lifestyle habits. Sometimes patients go past the point of no return and their bodies can’t repair. Perhaps this was the case for Martin.

Today, my office sparkles and the space I so needed is restored. Although I shredded a mountain of files, the stories will forever remain etched in my heart. As I closed the blinds, shut the lights, unplugged the fountain and oil lamp, I took one last look back at my now squeaky clean quaint space I so love to work in, and smiled at the thought of Martin so excited when he was able to once again tie his shoes, ride a bike, cross his legs, and button the bottom buttons of his shirt. Yes, he died perhaps earlier than his time, but he died after years of getting his life back—no longer imprisoned by his weight. It’s never too late to clear out the clutter and reach for the stars, even if you only touch the moon.

Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego