A Day at the Beach...

A Day at the Beach...


Today was one of those incredible days. I took a long bike ride along the beach in total awe at the magnificent purple and peach hues peeking through the cluster of white clouds as a backdrop to the crisp shades of blue that twinkled off the sea. With each press down on the pedal I gave thanks for all my blessings that continue to flow into my life. I remember a time when cycling was quite difficult for my 234 pound frame to have enough stamina to make it over the bridge without an abrupt stop to walk the incline.

This very shoreline in Hollywood, Florida is no strange place to me. Yvonne, my very best friend, and I were in our mid and early twenties respectively when we managed to scrape together enough money from our income tax return and jumped on a plane from Chicago and headed to what I refer to as paradise. I fell totally in love with Florida years before when I was only twelve and promised to one day return. I did.

Now, I fast forward 31 years on this very beach that brought me joy back then and today (though much has happened) with the birth of new memories, though I cling to what was. At 44 years old Yvonne passed away unexpectedly in her sleep but I hold on to the ten years of reminiscence when we flew back and forth from Chicago until I finally took the plunge and moved here permanently. So our giggles, tears, and serious talks live on in me and the beauty today I am so blessed to embrace is still the same.

Many a bike rides, power walks, and baby carriage strolls I indulged on this very beach. In my twenties with Yvonne I was knee-deep in my food addiction with a preoccupation with food and my body weight. Back then, I thought I didn't have "will" power to maintain any kind of diet to earn a "respectable" body size. Today I know it had nothing to do with diets or will power and everything to do with a chemical imbalance when I ate certain foods. I didn't have a clue that I couldn't tolerate sugar, flour, and wheat. I wish I did.

All I knew in my younger years was that I had uncontrollable cravings and never had enough to eat and lived life in shame. I thought there was something wrong with me because I had no control over my food while Yvonne couldn't care less about when, what, or how we ate as she pranced about with this amazing body tucked in a teeny tiny bikini and I hid behind an oversized t-shirt.

Today, as my strong lean legs gracefully pump the pedals with such ease the warm ocean breeze cools my face. I am alive and free. I'm liberated from the pain that comes from binge eating addictive foods. I am in such a different frame of mind compared to those yesteryears. Daily, I practice active recovery from food addiction.

As long as I eat three balanced meals at the same time each day and a metabolic snack, free of sugar, flour, and wheat I am good. I don't need anything more or less. I operate at an optimal level and all guilt and shame is completely wiped away. My body is a "normal" weight, and on and off diet mentality is no longer the way I live my life. Instead, I adopted a healthy lifestyle where I walk, bike, meditate, play, pray, eat healthy "real" foods, all sprinkled with spiritual balance as my base.

Today was one of those incredible days I wished to bottle forever but thunder in the background shook me from my daze and pushed me to a Lance Armstrong pedal pace to beat the storm. I'm grateful and thankful for a beach day and to you Yvonne for insisting we spend our money and make Florida an annual trip when we were young girls with crazy dreams. Without your nudge I wouldn't live in paradise blessed with a healthy body and a healthy mind where dreams do come true.

Life is good! I am thankful...


Photo by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Happy Birthday America!

Happy Birthday America! It's hard to believe the Fourth of July weekend is once again coming to an end. So often we go through this holiday weekend marking the event with picnics, barbeques, and various outdoor activities. But, the 4th of July is much more than a day off of work. For me, it's a day worth remembering and reminiscing.

I'm grateful for my independence and freedom to live in this great country. Yes, it’s the day America decided to become independent of Great Britain and represents freedom to make our own rules and be responsible for our welfare, but it also is a time to look back and remember family events—good and bad.

This morning my day began with sunny, blue skies, white puffy clouds, birds singing and a wonderful walk, talk and prayer time with my sister. No doubt, a start to a picture perfect South Florida day! Independence Day is a time for Americans to remember and celebrate what was and what is—not only for our country but for your personal desires.

Are you on course?

Although today is truly glorious day for me, somewhere someone out there is mourning something. Perhaps a family member is sick, or you lost someone you love, or maybe you personally are facing a challenge of your own. I’m certain there are many fur-children out there not too happy. I can attest to my Sage’s fear of fireworks which is inevitable this entire weekend.

Also on this day I think of  my Mom and recall several Fourth of Julys before and after she suffered a massive stroke. I am filled with joy for great memories as well as sadness. The first 4th of July after her stroke I questioned how the world could still move forward while I was suspended in gripping emotional pain.

And yet, no matter where you are in your life today, even though you might be grappling with an emotional, physical, or spiritual loss, the 4th of July must go on. It is no doubt a time for celebration, which includes: picnics, boat outings, Barbeques, et cetera, along with foods, drinks and temptations. This is the American way!

I can't help but wonder what role food plays in illnesses, losses, and death. In my line of work (eating disorders and mood disorders) holidays can be very difficult when platters of favorite foods are presented in front of you. I have a long history of active food addiction that certainly was fired up during this very holiday weekend. My recollection brings me to our summer vacation home in Wautoma, Wisconsin where we began each morning of our holiday weekend with several boxes of glazed, chocolate, and long-john doughnuts filled with cream washed down with chocolate milk or a huge breakfast of eggs, bacon, cheese, and loaves of Italian bread slathered in butter.

Holidays meant lots of foods tempting me to eat myself into a coma. Today is different; I understand my food addiction and practice recovery every day. It’s not always easy and certainly I’m not perfect. I have witnessed in my practice, as a certified addiction professional, and certified eating disorder professional the different facets of eating disorders, none of which are easy to move from active addiction to recovery. But, it can be done.

My Mom had her own battle with food and weight. She spent all of her adult life obese and she ate large portions of high fat, salty foods. Perhaps she grew her body rather than restricted to accomplish hiding within her body. My grandmother, also a large woman, bounced from diets to bingeing. No doubt my food issues were inherited genetically and environmentally. Mom died just before her 67th birthday.

I believe unprocessed foods play a huge role in healthy minds and healthy bodies. All of my self-hypnosis CDs addresses the importance of clean eating, exercise, and spiritual recovery.

And so here we are on this glorious day. The Florida sun tucked away for the evening as festivities of 4th of July come to a halt. I wonder, as the last bits of fireworks fall from the sky, sounds still within ear shot, how many close this day with full bellies and empty bellies both rumbling from restricting or bingeing. Many are alone and lonely, turning to food for comfort...or not. Eating disorders come in many guises. It does not matter if your black or white...or somewhere in between. It does not matter if you're rich or poor...or somewhere in the middle.

Today, I celebrate America's Independence. I celebrate my independence. I broke away from food controlling me...and now live free. I hope those suffering and hurting today will find independence from pain and sadness—and the loss of loved ones. Life is to be celebrated. America is to be celebrated. Let's wave our flag proudly. We live in a country that offers help and hope to all.



Photo by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Spiritual Food Vs. Whole Food

What would we expect of someone who feeds only on fast food and unhealthy snacks filled with sugar and fats? A healthy body? I think not. What about a long life? Of course not. We would expect physical health to decline as a result of the food intake. Is it any different with spiritual food?

Could it be the intake of the divine source could restore a food addict to an all encompassing state of health?

The food addict knows all too well today’s culture is loaded with unhealthy processed foods, but what about spiritual food? Today we are inundated with information that is less than palatable for the spiritual self that captures our attention on a daily basis. In the advent of technology, unsavory information leaks out in all directions that distract us from purposeful living. And much of what we feed on is unhealthy spiritually and nutritionally.

"You are what you eat" applies not only in the physical world, but also in the spiritual world. In our pursuit of spiritual food and whole food, our minds and bodies hunger for genuine nutrition from both realms.

Our bodies are our temples while our minds should be our sanctuary. God calls us to watch our diets. It pleases Him when we care for His temple, our bodies. But it pleases Him much more when we care for His mind, our sanctuary. It’s the creative divine spirit that is able to manifest anything it contemplates, and making the decision to co-create your program of recovery with your higher source will carry you beyond your greatest wishes.

With your creator all things are possible. Without the higher energy and not participating in a food program of recovery the disease will resurface.

There's no way to take in junk without becoming junky. The force behind recovery is what drives the transcendence that far surpasses the attachment to binge eating. It is the spiritual dimension, a unifying field that integrates the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of being.

Spiritual healing alone works if you’re not dealing with a chemical imbalance. Without hindrance, let His thoughts nourish you both physically and mentally.

The spiritual dimension is the essence of self and also transcends the self. It’s our closest, most direct experience of the universal life force. Food addiction is beyond our control without the help of a higher energy to transcend us from our pain so we can attend to address our own issues and well being.

Yes, it is the presence of a strong spiritual source combined with whole foods that can restore the food addict to an all encompassing state of health. We can expect a physical and mental transformation feeding on whole foods free of cakes, fried foods, and ice cream replaced by nutritional foods such as a mix of vegetables, fresh fruits, whole grains, pure oils, dairy, and protein.

Perhaps our body and mind will respond to the the spiritual food and whole food with a longer life, physical restoration, and spiritual fulfillment.

Photo taken by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Obesity in America...

On an Oprah show I heard Mrs. Obama discussing the obesity epidemic in America and how change needs to take place, especially getting children to incorporate more exercise and healthy foods as part of their daily lifestyle.

Great idea! But is it realistic?

I can't count how many families have sought my help with their children's obesity. When I suggest the entire family get off sugar, white flour and processed foods they get the deer-caught-in-the head-lights look. Or they stare at me like I sprouted horns right in front of their very eyes.

I go on gently to explain how attracted we are to processed foods because they are addictive and I discuss what food addiction looks like in children and adults. I share my food addiction story along with my recovery and often, in time,  they begin to nod their heads as they hear their story in my story.

Early in childhood I was fixated on sugar—never getting enough and going to great extremes to obtain it: stealing, hiding and hoarding.

Although I didn’t have an awareness of food addiction, I knew something was wrong.

In hindsight, I realized I ate out of control and bargained with myself and God to stop—after this one last pastry. I felt shame if I got caught stealing food or money to buy food; yet, I didn’t have the mentality to understand I was compulsive eating until my adolescent years when weight began to pile on. And even then I didn’t know there was an actual eating disorder called, binge eating disorder—and that I had it.

What I did know was my friends ate when they were hungry and they instincually knew to stop eating when they were full, and they didn’t hide or sneak their foods, nor did they have shame every time they ate.

Food addicts have a severe and ongoing disturbance in the manner in which they handle food. The depiction of addiction to food resembles the hallmarks of any addiction. The food addict is caught in the grip of a compulsive, habitual behavior that can’t be controlled.

The binge eater begins eating when she didn’t plan to and can’t stop eating when she wants to. Addiction is the persistent and repetitive enactment of a behavioral pattern the person recurrently fails to resist and that consequently leads to significant physical, psychological, social, legal, or other major life problems.

Loss of control over eating and obesity produce changes in the brain, which is similar to those produced by drugs of abuse.

Food addiction is a loss of control over eating coupled with the physiological tolerance and psychological dependence that occurs when a specific stimulus (food) is ingested. Typically, this addiction can result in negative consequences for basic life functions and relationships with family; social situations; intimate relationships; the sufferers relationship with God and spiritual development; and/or in relation to the law, health, and work life.

Research indicates more than half of Americans are overweight and at least a quarter near obesity. Weight loss products and services  cost consumers over 50 billion dollars annually and the numbers are climbing. More than 325,000 deaths are attributable to obesity-related causes each year.

My mother and grandmother were included in these statistics; their lives were shortened through a series of strokes and finally pneumonia as a result of their obesity.

So, yes I applaud Mrs. Obama for addressing children and family obesity and the wonderful suggestions she brings to the table. Unfortunately, I believe the problem goes deeper than exercise and healthy food choices. Food addiction is rampant and until their is a clear understanding about what it is and what the signs are all the diet and exercise suggestions will continue to go unheard.

Photo Taken by: Benjamin Crego

Awakenings...

All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is an awakening? Dictionary.com defines an awakening as a recognition, realization, or coming into awareness of something. I think of an awakening as being present—in the now. How often do you go through the motions of life missing out on the simple things such as the birds singing or a daffodil in bloom? When was the last time you truly looked deeply at something—anything—in it’s natural setting?

I’d been a bit overwhelmed with teaching, my practice, working on my book, and traveling that I realized I need to slow down this whirlwind of a life and take a day for me to catch my breath. I “turned it over” to a higher source.

When I walk with God and live life as a prayer I awaken without fail to His beauty and His grace—and awareness takes hold.

Night after night birds outside my bedroom window started singing at the top of their little whistles to the point my slumber’s interrupted.

What’s going on I ask?

The birds are turned around—at least the ones out my bedroom window in the middle of the night.

The birds continued to sing all through the night while during the day beautiful purple/pink flowers bloomed around my St. Francis statue in the yard. I didn’t even plant these flowers! In fact, I didn’t even notice they were there—and the statue is smack in front of my kitchen window that I stare out of continuously throughout the day.

I’ve always been drawn to St. Francis. I actually learned recently that I was born in St. Francis hospital in Blue Island, Chicago, Illinois. And when my Mom passed away her prayer card was a picture of St. Francis of Assisi on one side and Father Rookey’s Miracle Prayer on the other. Hmmmm—coincidence? I think not.

I read once where there is great love there is miracles. How can you not feel love when you see a flower in full bloom—or hear birds singing smack in the middle of the night?

To awaken is to be close to a higher source.

So, upon reflection, perhaps my busyness with life blocked my awareness of the beauty that surrounds me. God tapped, then knocked—then threw a brick (i.e. birds singing LOUD well into the night) just to get my attention—to slow down, and stop and smell the flowers, see the cobalt blue sky, and embrace all the amazing beauty right in front of my very eyes. I am awake.

I can see how it might be possible for a man to look down upon the earth and be an atheist, but I cannot conceive how he could look up into the heavens and say there is no God.
~ Abraham Lincoln



Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

I'm a Food Junkie...

My first real summer job, at the age of 13, was at the local bakery in town in Wautoma, Wisconsin. Getting that job I’d thought I won the lottery ticket. I had access to the goods five days a week with little supervision. It was a Willie Wonka life—for real. I ate bakery from the second the boss left until I clocked out.

Hi, my name is Lisa—I’m a food junkie. A food junkie thinks about food every waking moment: She/He is an addict. An addict is someone who is physiologically dependent on a substance.

My dependence began in early childhood but I wasn’t aware of it. At first I needed a doughnut to feel calm and it progressed to two, three, and four—and before I knew it the bakers dozen wasn’t cutting it.

I binged daily on cakes, cookies, doughnuts and freshly baked hot bread slathered in butter. But soon after taking my first bite of a “sugary/salty treat,” I fluctuated between a hair-raising, euphoric “sugar high” and a dark, negative wretchedness. To make matters worse, my weight swelled to 100 pounds over my ideal weight.

An abrupt deprivation of simple carbohydrates produced withdrawal symptoms. Chocolate bars, cakes, cookies, alcoholic beverages, sweetened soft drinks are simple sugar sources that provide calories, but usually no nutrients. From the sugar, I experienced depression, anxiety, and irritability only to return back to such sweets to fend off my melancholy, tranquilize my sense of being ill at ease, and lessen my agony—intense physical and mental suffering.

I experienced a violent struggle between outbursts of excitement and despair. A vicious cycle indeed! I didn’t realize these quickly metabolized carbohydrates briefly made me feel wonderful but then took me from that deceptive, blissful high to a tumultuous low.

I developed a physical dependence from chronic use of chocolate, cookies, cakes, and salty pretzels, which produced a high tolerance to them.

The chemical dependence is related to changes in the addict’s brain chemistry. Those changes involve the “pleasure circuit,” where, because of sensitivity to these substances, certain neurotransmitters and receptors create pleasurable feelings after being stimulated by simple carbohydrates.

With an abrupt deprivation of simple carbs, I experienced withdrawal symptoms, including severe headaches and body aches, and I broke out in a cold sweat and was irritable and fatigued. I found comfort in nothing except returning to sweets and starches.

In order to experience the symptoms of withdrawal, one must have first developed a chemical dependence. This happens after consuming one or more of these substances for a certain period of time, which is both dose dependent and varies based upon the drug consumed.

I first developed a chemical dependence after consuming sweets and salty simple carbohydrates every day in large quantities for months, to the point of being well beyond full. The negative symptoms of withdrawal were the result of abrupt discontinuation or cutting back on the amounts I consumed.

The higher the dose of sugar and starches typically the worse the physical dependence, and thus, the worse the withdrawal symptoms. Withdrawal symptoms can last days, weeks, or months, or on occasion even longer and will vary from individual to individual.

Although my sensitivity to certain foods was well in place in my formative years (and most likely from conception) it was my first real summer job at the local baker that really opened my eyes that I had a problem. My weight soared and I couldn’t stop eating. Answers and solutions only came to me later in life after years of studying, working with patients and making drastic changes in my own life style.

I learned if I numb my feelings through addictive foods I am incapable if action or feeling emotion, blocking joy from my life and entering a vicious cycle. But, but when I allowed myself to be vulnerable and let myself be “seen” rather than anesthetized from addictive foods, I could reach a spiritual awakening and perhaps with my awareness I can drop a seed of hope to others.

Easter Day...

When I think of pale yellow daffodils with deep golden centers the first thought that pops into my head is Easter and spring time. The second thought is Lent. Today is Easter and Lent has come to a close.

My Lenten plan was to go to church every Sunday and to be kind to everyone—no matter what. Well, I didn’t quite make it, but I did my best. Lent is the forty-day-long liturgical season of fasting and prayer before Easter. I definitely don’t engage in the fasting part, as anyone who knows me will tell you I’m not nice when I’m deprived of "my" food. So, I continue to eat my three healthy meals a day with a half meal as a snack, and it works like a charm.

When I think of the meaning of Lent, I can't help but slip into my many memories of vowing to God I will not eat chocolate, sugar, and flour for forty days and forty nights. Back in the days, on Ash Wednesday, I would sit in the pew, teeth clenched, with the promise to never ever binge on sugary, chocolaty foods starting day one of Lent. I promised—only to fall a few short days into my penance.

This morning with church jam packed from one end to the other, I was without a seat, pressed against the side wall with an opportunity to observe everyone. As I looked around the church, watching all those sitting comfy in their pew, I let my mind wander, while a priest I didn’t know went on talking about how great it was to see the church full, and at the same time I scanned the room assessing and guessing what each person gave up for lent and questioned if they were relieved that today they can indulge once again, or if they made it as far as they intended on Ash Wednesday.

Then my mind reverted back to myself—hmmm—I guess I could yell at someone today. Not. I can't miss the point and move in the wrong spiritual direction of where I strive to be. As my mind continued to wander and wonder which of these folks gave up alcohol, or maybe drugs, sex...or some behavior or thought they were agonizing over. I used to give up this, that, or the other, and made it for just a few days before succumbing to my addiction: food.

As far back as a small child I gave up candy for Lent. And even then I couldn’t string but a few days together before diving into some gooey treat. If mom didn’t catch me then my conscience did. I always felt God watched and one day He would punish me for will power deficit. But, today I know my God of understanding is filled with love and that will power has nothing to do with addiction and that abstinence for me was (and is) the resolution. Today, I left church snug, with my conscience in tact, and feeling all the glory of Easter.

It is evident to me that I have come a very long way from those many Lenten seasons of the past. I made my way back to my car smiling and nodding at others and they responded in kind—I pondered to myself on how warm and loving their eyes were and at the extra gaze they so generously gave. I think I’ll continue practicing kindness and love.


Photo by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego