Balance...

A day in the life of Dr. Lisa!

I woke this morning at 7:00 to the sound of birds chirping and the sun blaring in through the cracks of the drapes...and my day began.

After morning stretches, eight minutes of weight lifting, and meditation, I jumped on my bike and pedaled down Hollywood beach taking in all the magnificent morning from the glistening ocean, children playing in the sand, to seagulls flying over head. What a magical sight.

Home one hour later I began my breakfast preparations and made fresh blueberry pancakes topped with Greek yogurt. Does life get any better than this? And while the pancakes cooked and filled the air with the most delicious home baked aroma—taking me back to six years old as I recalled my great grandma Baba, who served the most delicious blueberry pie—I smiled. Of course my pancakes are sugar, flour, and wheat free.

While my pancakes cooked I prepared lunch: 4oz of roasted chicken, 2 cups of fresh steamed whole green beans topped with olive oil, freshly squeezed lemon and a pinch of sea salt and ground pepper. Then, I moved on and made my later afternoon snack of sliced yellow apples and 2 oz strips of sirloin steak—all to tote with me to work.

My day is off to a perfect start...

As I ate my breakfast, I began the rush of answering e-mails, writing something for my blog, a few tweets and a hello on facebook.

Okay, time to jump in the shower, primp, and get dressed—and off to an eight hour work day with eight patients to discuss their eating disorders, depression, and whatever life challenge is offered up at that moment.

Ah…not done yet. Once finished working with patients I hop in the car for a twenty minute drive west to teach psychology with a group of awesome students at DeVry university.

Finally, I find my way back home around 9ish at night and take a short bike ride with my husband to catch up on our day—followed by dinner preparations (Broiled Salmon, Sweet potato, tossed salad with olive oil and vinegar) and then back online for more checking on emails, grading student's work, a tweet or two... and yes, finally bed.

Ah...in the life of Dr. Lisa...ya never know what's going to happen.

How do I keep balance? Well, I retire for bed near midnight and get up at 7:00 a.m. every day whether I am on vacation, home, or at a conference. My body is conditioned to expect seven hours of sleep. My food is natural and free of sugar flour and wheat. I exercise an hour daily and make time to pray, meditate, and sit still. I nurture my loving relationships with my husband, sons, and sweet fur child Sage.

Balance is key. I work hard, play hard, and live life as a prayer.

Why Can't I Stop Eating?

So, you ask yourself,'Why can't I stop eating?' or 'What's wrong with me that I’m eating a huge amount of food—when I’m not even hungry?'

Did you ever consider you may have an eating disorder? Okay, it's harsh to even consider the idea. Nobody wants to be "labeled" with a disorder. I get that. I have binge eating disorder and denied it for years until one day (after gaining and losing and gaining close to 100 pounds) I came to my senses and admitted I had an eating disorder and gradually changed my relationship with food; hence, my journey to recovery began. Was it easy? Certainly not! Was it doable? Absolutely!

Let's face it, change doesn't come easy for most of us and learning we might have a disorder that requires cognitive/behavioral changes is darn right scary. So what does one do? I believe the answer begins by making choices towards a healthy life style. We can hunker down to what is familiar—not willing to budge—or we can step out of our comfort zone and try recovery strategies that may seem foreign at first.

As an expert in eating disorders, I have found answers not only for myself but also for my patients who have binge eating disorder, bulimia, anorexia, food addiction, or a combination of all four. You may wonder if it’s possible to move in and out of binge eating, purging, and restricting—the answer is yes. In fact, it’s not uncommon to dance between a mix of eating disorders.

You may find it interesting to learn, bulimia and anorexia are the eating disorders most familiar, but not most common. Patients often gasp when they learn that eating a large amount of food in a small period of time with little regards for consequences (and not purging) actually has a name and is considered an eating disorder that is more common than bulimia and anorexia. Most of my patients (including myself) have binge eating disorder without purging food. After an episode of bingeing, often the person harbors guilt and shame promising after this last binge they’ll get back to their diet and never engage in volume eating again.

Once my patients get past the fact they have a disorder, and that it actually has a name—binge eating disorder—they move into acceptance and a recovery plan.

So now, when you ask yourself, ‘why am I bingeing', you may want to take a closer look at what's going on in your life? Let's be clear, if you spend the evening hunkered down in a coma-state watching television, and to your surprise realize you inhaled an entire bag of potato chips, you are not automatically a binge eater. A binge eater frets over the fact they lost control over their food and may even fear they can't stop eating once they start and an intense fear of weight gain. Furthermore, it's not uncommon for a compulsive eater to hide their food and binge alone—filled with shame when the binge is over.

The cause and recovery strategy for compulsive eating is up for grabs—with many theories. Some say it is a chemical imbalance and name it food addiction. Some find it is an emotional crisis and bingeing is a way to avoid something bothersome. And still others find it is a spiritual deficit. I say, it's a three-prong problem: spiritual, emotional, and physical.

Most of my patients contact me because they want to lose weight and they tried every "diet" imaginable and still can't stop eating. Eating beyond full is common with a person suffering from binge eating disorder. What is causing this behavior? Perhaps you're sensitive to sugar, flour, and wheat due to a chemical imbalance causing you to crave more and more food, especially from sweet and starchy food choices.

You may have trouble resisting a binge because you suffer from a food addiction and/or an eating disorder. The answer is not simple and it requires a process that involves change in thoughts and behaviors. The first step for you is to get familiar with trigger foods and start weaning off of them. After a binge (or before would be ideal!) ask yourself a series of questions:

1. Was I hungry? When was the last time I ate? If it was more than five hours you most likely were hungry.
2. Was I angry about something? Is there something going on in my life that I feel out of control, anxious, hopeless, and/or helpless?
3. Am I lonely or feeling alone?
4. Am I tired? Did I get an ample amount of sleep?
5. Am I stressed? Do I have too much to do and little time for relaxation and fun?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it may be the first place to address your eating issues. Also, pay attention to the foods you’re eating. Perhaps you are sensitive to processed foods such as: bread, cakes, cookies, flour, et cetera. So, if you ask yourself, 'Why can't I stop bingeing?' or 'What is wrong with me that I'm eating a huge amount of food when I’m not even hungry?', you may have an eating disorder or a chemical imbalance that triggers uncontrollable cravings and volume eating. My suggestion is to seek a certified eating disorder professional who can help you address these issues and move into recovery and quality living.

What is Spirituality?

What is the experience of spirituality? My patients in treatment for various eating disorders often ask me this very question. The answer is not so easy, especially when spirituality is an individual experience—with no two exposures mirrored.

Treatment for eating disorders is three-fold: physical, emotional and spiritual. Often the spiritual component is missing. Is it important? From my perspective, as a certified eating disorder professional and a food addict in recovery, spirituality is KEY to restoring a healthy balance.

What is the experience like when a spiritual connection is ever-present? For me, it’s a constant intangible companion through trials and tribulations. It’s an awareness that whispers answers to questions often not posed—when everything is dark and there’s nowhere and no one to turn to. Spirituality is the hug from God when you feel alone. It is His strength when you feel weak.True, this “thing” called spirituality is not tangible, but omnipotent when you open your heart and receive it. This infinite power shows no bias and no preference and is available to anyone who seeks.

What is spiritual deficit? When disconnected from spiritual recovery the sun no longer shines and the birds are silent—you drown in despair, so alone gasping for relief—any relief to stop the pain is welcomed. The lack of divine—is an innate gnawing sense something is not right within. To not be in spiritual presence is as powerful as to be—but on an insane track, hiding food in your purse, closet, drawers and filling up to your eye balls with food – stomach distended—dying within and dying without.

Spirituality is a term that is impossible to define because each individual attracts his or her spiritual-self differently. Spiritual sacredness is a personal, internal vision—a part of the self that refers to faith in something greater and more profound than self. Faith is not necessarily in the context of organized religion, but rather as how one perceives their own connection with a force higher than themselves. In the context of this blog, spirituality best fits to an internal exploration rather than to objective reasoning.

Ericson (1996) says it best:

Although I am well versed in the “techniques” and “tools” of psychology and psychotherapy, I believe that these are merely “tools.” The real healing takes place with these tools and the willingness and openness to allow that “power greater than self” to intervene. I believe that to use these tools without a healthy respect and inclusion of the spiritual process is like trying to run a race with one leg. (pp.104-105)

So, what is the experience of spirituality? It is allowing yourself to be open and willing to let your experience take you where your journey directs you—to embrace whatever comes…


Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego


Ericson Phyllis (1996). “Journey of the soul…The emerging self…from dis-ease to discovery.” Dissertation Abstracts International, 58 (8), 4579B (UMI No. 9542654)

Still

I spent last weekend alone at the beach house. I painted walked, sat on the dock, swam, read and biked. It was quiet in my mind and around me. Nothing but silence and Sage, my 75 pound German Shepherd who panted and looked at me with a quizzical nod as if to say, 'Well, so what a we gonna do?’ No plans—quiet—still.

I teach psychology at DeVry University and discussed with my students how inundated we are with technology and busyness—constant constant something. We use ipods, iphones, ipads, and everything in between to distract us from present living. Communication has evolved to texts rather than face-to-face conversations or a simple phone call. We multitask in our busyness—talk on the phone, text, listen to music, watch television, eat—all at the same time.

I passed a driver, on my way to my weekend getaway, he was swerving all over the road and driving barely 45 miles an hour. I assumed he was drunk. While I passed his car I glanced in his direction and saw he was bent over in text mode while driving! Busyness—we are buried in the rush to do something at all times to avoid the silence—stillness.

I ask my students to imagine spending a few hours in a room with nothing but themselves. What would you do? Most respond with: I would go crazy or what would be the point. The point is to be with your self quiet to to hear nothing and just be. It is a form of meditating in your wakeful state with no agenda rather than running and hiding from our self.

When quiet long enough you begin to hear more than when you're avoiding silence. You hear the birds sing and feel the breeze against your skin and smell lilacs and jasmine and appreciate the deep orange lilies. You hear your heart beat and become aware of your own breath. When was the last time you focused on your breath? Do you ever forget to breathe? Are you running so fast through life that you don't stop to feel the present moment? Often we are caught between what we did yesterday and what we will do tomorrow—not existing in the space called now.

After a long day of nothingness, late at night I floated in the pool and watched the stars twinkle and the crest of the moon slip behind a cloud as the warm water lapped against my skin. Not far off the waterway meets the sea—dolphins swam by, and out in the distance I heard the hum of boats. I plunged under deep shimmying to the bottom of the pool, gliding as the dolphin might: free—silent—magnificent in the moment.

Yes, I spent the weekend alone at the beach house in silence. It was fruitful. My mind was quiet and peace filled me. I smile as I think of Sage resting, taking deep breaths and exhaling with long sighs; all stretched out embracing our quiet time as much as I did.

Now back home in my busyness I look forward to our next adventure—to return to the dock and take in life through stillness. I am ready to paint, walk, rest, pray, and quiet my mind and all that is around me. I am ready to return to nothing but silence and Sage, without an agenda...quiet and still.

Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Spirituality Inhibited by Active Binging

Spirituality Inhibited by Active Binging

I discovered working with a small intimate group discussing recovery that Spiritual healing alone works if you aren’t dealing with a chemical imbalance. We all experienced a blockage from our spirituality when we were active in binge eating. We lived in a self-centered world and yet never ended up with what satisfied us. We learned we can’t give of ourselves because we’re immersed in addictive eating blocking the connection to God. In our self-centered world we’re unable to love ourselves—we’re centered in self-hate.

Healing requires a three prong mindset: physical, emotional, and spiritual. How can we heal our bodies if our mind is toxic from our chemical response to certain foods? In turn, if we are emotionally bankrupt how do we find our way spiritually? Can we be spiritually connected when we’re knee deep in a food binge?

I can only speak for myself and the answer is—not totally. Yes, the binge dropped me to my knees begging for relief; however, once the food partially digested I was ready for another binge. What comes first cleansing from the binge or reaching out to God?

At times when I was loaded with sugar I struggled with negative images of God, feelings of spiritual unworthiness and shame, fear of abandonment by God, intense difficulty surrendering and keeping faith, and dishonesty and deception. I believed in God yet had deep spiritual struggles creating a major impediment to my ability to recover from my eating disorder.

This is not to say there were not previous times in my life where I felt a connection to God and a degree of personal spirituality. I still attended weekly Sunday mass intermittently but lost these connections through the course of my eating disorder. In essence, I realized spiritual healing can happen but first I needed to address my chemical imbalance on a physical, spiritual, and emotional level.

Where is Spirit?

Where is spirit? Where do you find it? Do we all have a spiritual guide? A chapter in my manuscript discusses the impact of the ever presence of strong spirituality. With regards to compulsive eating, some believe without spiritual energy one is blocked from reaching their peak because the noise is too loud – telling you to eat foods that are going to make you sick – yet you eat them anyway because the voice tells you to. The voice that is saying it is okay this one time because you will begin your diet tomorrow or Monday or on some special holiday. Lent is here and it is a time many addicts vow to not eat, drink, smoke or whatever the vice is for 40 days and 40 nights. A promise to cleanse and begin anew.


Father Tom pressed his thumb hard against my forehead mumbling "ashes to ashes – dust to dust" as he left the imprint of a charcoal colored cross taking up most of the space above my eyes and below my hairline. I walked around wearing my thumb print for all to see– ready to take up the cross and repent – and give up something. This year I relinquished salt and sweeteners. To some this may sound simple, for me it is a gargantuan task. I sprinkle salt on everything and sweeteners are soon to follow. How will my spirit take over my cravings. Will they just be lifted or do I consciously give them up? Do I put the focus on salt and sweeteners or on spirit?

I think of spirit like fresh snow draping over tree branches as they dip low in the early morning with bird prints sprawled below; the scent of freshly cut grass mixed with spring Lilly's and sea air; Sage pressing her cold wet nose in my hand in hopes I will pet her soft luscious white coat; a baby smiling and cooing as it looks at me in hoisted position off her mothers shoulder; sitting on the dock with a hot cup of tea after planting fresh daisies below the cobalt sky and bluish gray waters dancing like diamonds sprinkled about. Spirit is everywhere. Everywhere is spirit. I invite and embrace it. Spirit enters and addictions are pushed far back - almost a dream – at least for this moment.

The day after pledging your penance reality sits in. Wanting what you have agreed to give up comes calling. Wondering if you really can go 40 days without your designated "drug." It is easy to say I swear and promise I will give this substance up as the palm ashed cross is securely placed and visible for all to see. But the day after is an entirely different feel. The withdrawals begin to set in and missing your favorite "whatever" comes calling. It is at this point you ask where is my spirit that will lead me to recovery? Where?

Where is spirit? Spirit is here, there, and everywhere – always present – always ready to serve. It requires no cue – it just is. You can't touch it, smell it, or see it, but if you're still enough you can feel it. It is available for everyone whether you are tall, short, big, small, black, white or in between. Spirit has no face yet is in each face. Spirit is here. Is now. Lent is here. I give my salt and sweetener to you higher energy and welcome the freedom.


Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Where Am I Anyway?

Where am I? I thought I left Chicago behind weeks ago and yet the cold weather seems to have followed me. I enjoyed the crisp windy city for five days the last week of December, knowing I would return to the sunshine state (Florida) where warm weather is promised day in and day out – except now. I have been home for weeks and this weather has not let up. I believe the mind and the spirit control the body and make change. How can I apply this theory to Antarctica weather in south Florida?

I woke this morning to 33 degrees and a wind-chill factor of 22. The air is crisp, rain is falling in sleets, a dark gloomy cast is upon us. Yep, Chicago weather followed me. I am freezing – ran the heat 13 days straight – seems almost surreal as I have not used the heater in years. When I turned it on it smoked the first five minutes resembling the smell of burnt dirty socks.

Now, why did I move from Chicago May 1986? I recall standing on the El downtown Chicago waiting for my train. It was March and blistering cold. I looked up to the heavens and claimed out loud I was moving to Florida in May to never be cold again. To feel the warm air hug me even in the evening hour strolls along the beach; yet, here I am in the sunshine state breaking the coldest streak in 43 years!

It is evident I never did like the cold. My bones ache, I feel down and depressed and I am looking for hot anything to sip on. In fact, chili is cooking in the crock pot as I write. Exercise is foreign these last few days. Last time I biked I was layered in clothes, wearing thermal ware, gloves, and a hat...and wishing for ear muffs, which most Florida people do not even know what they are. I biked to an almost desolate beach. Work is no respite either, my office is an icebox. No heater there –hands are numb writing progress notes.

Even Sage ( my 75 pound white German Shepard) voluntarily went into her house most of the day curled in a small pretzel as far back as she could position herself, which reminds me of myself pressing my body close to my husband who emits heat like an oven. Thank you God – no need for an electric blanket as my husband serves as a personal heater – my 7 hour respite from the cold.

A Florida wimp I am. It is cold, raining, and very dark and gloomy out. I feel the same. I miss the sun! SAD (Season Affective Disorder) is very real. I pray for sun and warmth tomorrow, my sunshine state , as I know it, to hold true to its name, and the world will be right again. I will jump on my bike – ride the beach and feel one with nature. Although I believe mind and spirit control the body, I backtrack when my body is cold. I need warm thoughts to change the outcome. For now, I'll employ the fake it till you make it mentality.