Thanksgiving!

Be comforted dear soul! There is always light behind the clouds.

~Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

Thanksgiving is a day of thanks, a day of praise, a day of gratitude for the fortunate. Who is fortunate? Is it the rich person? Perhaps the one with a roof over the head? Or is it purely existence?  Is the fortunate one the person present living? It's different for everyone. My fortunate is the ability to stay present—in the now—and give thanks and praise. Present living was not always a possibility for me in the past, but now, living in this moment befriends me. Of course it's not always so easy when life is filled with trials and tribulations. 

Is there always a light behind the clouds?

Can you sit still on this day of Thanksgiving and connect to the present even if there’s a dark cloud over you? Have you ever tried to stay quiet in the mind driven by gratitude? It's pure heaven. The mind always wants to think about what needs to be done next or what we already did. It's not so easy to focus on the here and now and bask in grace and gratitude when daily worries distract you from the abundance that is yours. Mortgage payments, troublesome spouses, out of control children, roofs leaking, a headache, even sour milk can interfere with your gratitude on this day of Thanksgiving, but your Higher Source (Whomever you turn to—God, Jesus, Sun, Energy, etc.) during challenging times showers continuous blessings and love down on you.

What makes me fixed on staying present when chaos surrounds me is deep breathing my way to calm—the present moment. Like you, many of my loved ones are not here on this day of giving thanks, they died or live in another state but they remain in my heart, which encourages me to sit still in gratitude for what I have in the here and now.

I took a long luxurious bike ride this morning along the Inter-coastal and Atlantic ocean with the most spectacular view before me side by side with one of my sons. As we pedaled our way up the bridge we witnessed the sun peak out over the purple/orange backdrop on the ocean shoreline breathing in the sea air.  My legs are strong and my energy abound. My bike moves with me as if we are one. A new day is about to begin. I am in the now—present.

Thanksgiving was not always a time for me to sit in gratitude. I’m a recovering food addict, and in the past, today marked the eating frenzy that launched my holiday eating. Actually, truth be told, that’s not true,  my out of control food fest began from Halloween until January 1 when I’d make my New Year’s resolution. On Thanksgiving day I’d until I could eat no more—until the food was all the way up to the rim of my throat and my pants cut into my bulging stomach—promising I’d diet come Monday. And Monday never came.

I am an addict addicted to processed foods and this holiday for most food addicts is lethal because there is no end to the eating or at least until we are so full the pain is greater than the need for that one more bite.

Food addiction is a loss of control over eating coupled with the physiological tolerance and psychological dependence that occurs when a specific stimulus (food) is ingested. Typically, this addiction can result in negative consequences for basic life functions and relationships with family; social situations; intimate relationships; the sufferers relationship God and spiritual development; or in relation to the law, health, and work life.

Early in childhood I was fixated on sugar—never getting enough and going to great extremes to obtain it: stealing, hiding and hoarding. Although I didn’t have an awareness of food addiction, I knew something was wrong. In hindsight, I realize I ate out of control and bargained with myself and God to stop—after this one last pastry. I felt shame if I got caught stealing food or money to buy food; yet, I didn’t have the mentality to understand I was compulsive eating until my adolescent years when weight began to pile on. And even then I didn’t know there was an actual eating disorder called, binge eating disorder—and that I had it.

What I did know was my friends ate when they were hungry and stopped when they had enough and didn’t hide or sneak their foods nor had shame. Food addicts have a severe and ongoing disturbance in the manner in which they handle food. The depiction of addiction to food resembles the hallmarks of any addiction. The food addict is caught in the grip of a compulsive, habitual behavior that can’t be controlled.

The binge eater begins eating when she didn’t plan to and can’t stop eating when she wants to. Addiction is the persistent and repetitive enactment of a behavioral pattern the person recurrently fails to resist and that consequently leads to significant physical, psychological, social, legal, or other major life problems. Loss of control over eating and obesity produce changes in the brain, which is similar to those produced by drugs of abuse.

Today I practice mindfulness. The dictionary defines mindfulness as calm awareness of one's body functions, feelings, content of consciousness, or consciousness itself. I am totally conscious of my fingers dancing over the keys putting words together. I am told mindfulness is the path to liberation and enlightenment. It is the intense purpose of staying in the now. I get this. 
 

So, today I am present. I refuse to think about what needs to be done next or what I already did. I am present with each breath in and out. I am present to the sounds of birds singing and the whispers of the wind as it folds through the palm trees out my window. I am here and now. What makes me fixed on staying present is is the peace and tranquility it brings. And of course the whiff of turkey baking in the oven doesnt' hurt! 

Photos by:  Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Binge Eating Disorder vs. Food Addiction

Do I have Binge Eating Disorder or is it Food Addiction, or Could it be a Combination of Both? Have you ever gone back for an extra serving of food when you weren't hungry? How about mindless eating between meals on occasion? I’m sure most of us at some time or another took an additional serving (or two) of food or ate unplanned meals especially during holidays, birthdays, and long weekends. Let's face it temptations to over-indulge are all around us.

So, what makes the difference between an occasional over indulgence, or binge eating? What about food addiction? When is it a food addiction? To make matters more confusing, when is it binge eating disorder and when it is food addiction? And, could it actually be a combination of the two?

When was the last time you binged a bushel of apples or a bucket of broccoli? I'm willing to bet not too often. How about a box of cookies, bag of potato chips, or chocolate bars? Ah...hitting a nerve am I? If you look around I am certain you will see at every turn someone who binge eats. Do you?

Millions of Americans hide, steal, and hoard food anticipating a secret binge. After their indulgence they're filled with remorse and shame promising to never over eat again. One of the least discussed and most common eating disorder is binge eating disorder. Binge eating is defined as over eating a large amount of food in a small period of time, at least three times a week for six months or longer. Binge eating, or compulsive eating—as it is more familiarly known—affects more than 20 million people in the United States alone. And yet, we focus more on bulimia nervosa and anorexia when it comes to eating disorders.

In my practice, the majority of my eating disordered patients suffer from binge eating disorder and/or obesity. This isn't to say all bingers are obese or even overweight, because some actually can be of normal weight. Also, not all overweight persons binge eat. And where does food addiction fit into the mix? The biggest challenge is to sort through whether the patient has food addiction, binge eating disorder, or a combination of the two.

The food addict also eats a large amount of food in a small period of time, and like compulsive eating, it comes with consequences that can be lethal, such as obesity, heart disease, relationship issues, body image, and et cetera. The big difference between the two disorders is food addicts crave specific foods that are uncontrollable no matter what attempts they put forth to stop (i.e., dieting, restricting, exercising, et cetera).

I liken food addiction, an uncontrollable craving for high sugar and processed foods, to recreational drugs such as cocaine, heroin, and nicotine. And the food addict needs to consume the sugary/starchy substance in order to function—to feel "normal." In all addiction cases, the substance dependent consumes larger amounts of their drug for longer periods than were normally intended with a persistent desires or repeated unsuccessful attempts to quit—even if it interrupts social, recreational, and family interaction—because the addicted substance takes precedence.

When it comes to treatment for binge eating disorder it is often not about the food but rather about the emotional deficits. When it comes to treatment for food addiction it is about the food—specific foods that trigger the compulsion to consume large amounts of it no matter what the cost. Although binge eating disorder and food addiction share many of the same symptoms, food addiction shares the emotional component of binge eating disorder as well as the symptoms such as obsession with body, weight, mood shifts, closet eating, stealing, where compulsive eating is about the inability to deal with emotions.

I suffered from food addiction and binge eating disorder as far back as I can remember—I just didn't know what it was called. I thought there was something wrong with me mentally. I craved chocolate, doughnuts, chips, and anything gooey and sweet beyond normalcy and I tried every diet under the sun—including diet pills, commercial diet centers, starvation, over exercising, none of which helped me tame the compulsion to eat beyond full in spite of the detrimental consequences, which in my case was obesity.

I wish I knew then what I know now about eating disorders, treatment, and spiritual recovery. Perhaps I could have avoided all the pain and suffering with my weight up and my weight down—an endless battle—until now. Today, I live life without the torture of worrying about getting heavy, craving foods I can’t control the amount of—and spiritually my cup is full. So, if you are one to eat an extra serving, two, or three beyond holidays, birthdays, and long weekend temptations, when you weren't hungry, to the point of devastating consequences that hamper the quality of your life, perhaps you may suffer from an eating disorder such as food addiction, binge eating disorder (compulsive eating) or both intertwined.

My 20 years experience as a clinical psychotherapist, a PhD in addiction psychology, certified eating disorder specialist, certified addiction professional, and national board certified clinical hypnotherapist has not only made me a recognized expert in my field, but also made me privy to understanding the experience of those (and myself) releasing their obsessions with food and turning to their connection with the divine energy (known as God for some)and people.

Photos by Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego