New Year’s Resolution: Stop Dieting and Start Winning in Weight Loss Control!

Mary, a fairly new patient, bolted through the waiting room sprinting to my office like she was running a 10 K marathon. Breathless, she plopped down sinking deep into my hunter green couch, perspiration trickling down her face, and announced, “I’m starting a 500 calorie diet to get rid of this weight once and for all!,”  as she grabbed a fist full of fat from her expanded waist.

 As I listened to Mary promise with such conviction on how she would lose her weight—that she owned the "secret" to drop weight quickly, I felt Mary’s pain and urgency.  Not only do I understand Mary,  I lived her desperation—starting and ending every fad diet inmaginable for over 30 years of my life.  I promised to lose the weight—that I had the quick weight loss secret. One hundred pounds heavier after a series of diets brought me to my knees begging for a transformation.

I couldn’t help responding abruptly to Mary, “Stop, don’t do it! Do not make another New Year’s resolution to diet as it leads to yo yo dieting.”

When I explain to patients what’s really going on with desperate dieting followed by binge eating I often see a twinkle in their eye as they nod, bobbing their head like a dolphin dancing on the ocean top delighted direction is coming.

Mary is a food addict. As she begins to “get it” she has an Oprah “light bulb moment!” realizing that her up and down weight loss is not her fault, but rather from years of dieting and addictive eating.

Today, especially the first day of January, promises of food restriction, clamping teeth shut determined to eat 500 calories a day is a recipe for disaster.

Let’s be clear: There’s no such diet or trick or secret as losing 20, 40, 60 or whatever number of pounds you want to lose in a few short weeks and or months. Mary’s 500 calorie diet sets her up for quick weight loss followed by quick weight gain. I know, been there done that a million times.

Where to begin?  Let’s start with four points:

 

Ø  Admit you are out of control with food. This first step is not easy but it’s a start point to release the obsession with food.

Ø  Understand sugar, flour, and wheat are drugs to many binge eaters. Mary reminds me of the addict who promises they’ll never take another hit, snort, or shoot up again, without admission to the addictive components. Coming from a "will power" frame of mind is sure to fail.

Ø  Develop a spiritual connection to something greater than yourself. Call it God, Yahweh, or Lucy, whatever—just connect to your Divine Source. Mary is two hundred pounds overweight. She is a prisoner in her own body. Addictions are stronger and bigger than our will to stop using, we can’t do it alone.

Ø  Take one day at a time and practice recovery. Mary must let go of the "quick" fix ideation. When humble and focused she can work a whole, natural food plan free of sugar, flour, and wheat. In the here and now, working her program one meal at a time with progress not perfection, I think she’ll make it to the other side: thin and healthy.

 
When I was in the food I promised I would stop. I too vowed to lose the weight and never binge again. I meant it! Once I dropped some weight and started looking good I fell deep into a binge. It wasn’t until I realized I had to let go of the addictive foods I became free of the obsessions and cravings. It’s not a question of will power but rather of letting go of an addiction to specific foods. As simple as it sounds it worked. My weight corrected and I am free of cravings.

 Many patients I work with also are free from cravings and have returned to their normal weight. I wish I could say they all followed my path, but truth be told, many are on the same ride as Mary, believing there’s a quick fix often losing only to gain more weight than what they started with.

Successful patients have a clear understanding it’s a process and that it takes time if they want to enter long-term success.  Eat balanced meals one day at a time is the ticket to recovery.

Although I did not hear specific talk about spiritual recovery, Mary is beginning to echo thoughts regarding some Higher Force to carry her through the process. She grasps it’s not about the food, nor is it about the weight, it’s an addiction to food. It is about turning to a physical, emotional, and spiritual recovery.

 

 

Photos taken by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

 

*Weightcontroltherapy.com, founded in 2001, offers the public an opportunity to explore  why you eat what you eat and to better understand why food can cause your moods to swing, your cravings to soar, your weight to increase, your self-esteem to plummet, and your fatigue to rage. I blog posts to share experiences, light the flame of hope for all to conquer their poor relationship physically, emotionally, and spiritually to food.

Spiritual Being....

Another day is about to unfold. I always look forward to the treasures of life that await me. This morning I rode my bike along the Hollywood, Florida Inter-Coastal and up the bridge and along the sea side. What a view! As I pedaled with energy and enthusiasm I thought about how I used to feel exhausted and full of dispair. I have come a long way from the overweight girl with body, mind, and spirit deficits to living my best life.

After swinging from one diet to another my food addiction made me so desperate that I fell to my knees in hopelessness, and then I began to carve out a God. God can be a gentle breeze, the sun, or light. What you call this great energy doesn’t matter. You could call it God, Lesley, Sam, or Toto—a name is simply that, a name. God is bigger than what you call Him/It. He is consciousness—a higher self of me. He was in me all along. Sort of like the situation of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. She had everything she needed within herself, and it only took the wizard to point her in the right direction to learn what she had within all along.

Tap deep into your own desires and you’ll find what it is you’re looking for. God may show up for you while you pray, sleep, dance, swim, or when you’re in a compulsive eat-frenzy and can’t stop. You’ll find Him through your understanding of what He is. People are often confused about the difference between religion and spirituality.

Religion isn't necessarily a context for the spiritual. Religion can be defined as a (mental) belief in and reference to a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe. It’s an institutionalized or even personal system grounded in such (mental) belief and, ideally, worship—which consists of a mental/emotional turning to that supernatural reference point. Religion generally includes a set of credos, values, and practices based on the teachings of a spiritual leader. It is a cause, principle, or activity pursued with zeal or conscientious devotion and/or mental allegiance.

Religion, hopefully, encompasses an increasing experience of the spiritual reality of one’s relationship with God. Over the years, my own spiritual practice evolved into honest conversations with God, meditations, rides along the ocean, silence, and letting go of my silly mind chatter. From these efforts and spontaneous arisings, I felt an inner transformation and an overall improved sense of well-being emerge. This process of frequently turning to the greater power in all sincerity brought me closer to a spiritual connection I couldn’t find with my religion alone. Thus, I have come to see a difference between religion itself and the spirituality it may or may not foster.

Yes, another day is about to unfold. I always look forward to the treasures of life that await me. This morning I rode my bike along the Hollywood, Florida Inter-Coastal and up the bridge and along the sea side and I saw God's art work splashed in hues of orange, purple, and shades of green behind white puffs of clouds. What a spectacular view! I have grown spiritually, emotionally, and physically from the obese girl I was.