weightcontroltherapy

10 Ways to Increase the Release of Obsessive Eating

2012-02-11T12:47:00.001-05:00

When I first started Dr. Lisa Weight Control Therapy Blog, Ireally didn’t have any goals or objectives. I just wanted a place to write mythoughts that didn’t fit the academic writing I’m trained for in addictionpsychology. As such, I didn’t think I’d have too much of an audience in thebeginning. I was wrong. From the start, my thoughts as a practitioner and as an individual in recovery frombinge eating disorder and food addiction on topics that addressed obsessiveeating, weight control, spiritual recovery, and emotional recovery pulled in interestsfrom around the globe. I learned implementing goals and steps increases thesuccess in the release of obsessive eating. I also learned sharing storieswithout the academia flare was more palatable.

I won’t bore you with the details, but I now consistently hearand see positive results in my practice and from my blog and/or emails from awide population seeking to release obsessive eating. I found with the goal tocontribute steps to build a strong recovery foundation successes increased. True,it didn’t all happen at once, patients and blog readers confessed there weresome ups and downs along the way. I’ve found that the 10 steps below can helpany food addict increase their ability to release weight and/or make peace withtheir obsessive eating—whether it’s a new issue or struggles long lived.

Here are my 10 ways to increase the release of obsessiveeating:

1. Remove all forms of sugar from your diet withthe exception of fruit for breakfast and a fruit included in the metabolicboost later in the day. Sugar is not just an empty calorie; its effect on thefood addict is much more insidious. Obese patients think it’s about thecalories, but it has nothing to do with the calories. It’s a poison by itself. Forget the fact that obesity and diabetes hasskyrocketed in America in the past 30 year and it’s responsible for diseasessuch as heart disease, hypertension, and many common cancers, it also triggersobsessive eating and thinking.

2. Exercise daily at least 30 minutes. It’simportant to exercise because it helps maintain a healthy body, reduce stress,and improves blood circulation. More importantly, it’s important to exercisebecause exercising is healthy. It’s proven to help peoples overall moods, andtheir health, such as boosting their immune system. Exercise has also beenknown to keep your mind healthy as well. Get outside and connect with nature andyour Higher Source while you move.

3. Sleep seven to eight hours each night. Sleep iscrucial for overall health. This is because sleep helps your body to recoverand rejuvenate from your days stressors, ridding your body of fatigues. It’syour body’s chance to recharge and heal. The only way to rejuvenate all of ourorgans is to rest the body and sleep. Our brains need time to process all ofthe information it receives daily. Some even say it’s your time to clear yourmind and connect with the Divine Source.

4. Write a daily gratitude journal. Journal writing is very personal andvery intimate. It allows you to tap into your inner feelings and figure outwhat’s going on for you in your life. Journal writing takes many forms. I,myself, especially enjoy “diary writing,” which for the most part involves theunstructured, chronological recording of the extent of a person’s life. Withthat, I write daily gratitude posts listing all the blessings and treasure thatunfold in daily life.

5. Meditatedaily. Meditation is the act of embracing an open and inviting clear space inthe mind. It’s the discovery of a corner of the mind, a quietness within themind, a sanctuary, a resting place—paradisein the mind, a place of peace. Meditation is performed in quiet—with noagenda. Some individuals meditate by using one word to concentrate on, while othershum one note, and still others focus on something to look at, such as a cloudor flower or even a spot on the wall. Some will use a mantra, repeating it overand over again. In meditation, we spend some time in the spaciousness of not knowing.

6. Praythroughout the day. The beauty of prayer is that it’s personal. There’s noright way to pray, and there’s no wrong way—just your way. You can talk, sing,sit in silence, dance, cry, run, embrace nature, hug a baby, kiss a puppy,and/or watch a butterfly swirl around a daffodil—all in the name of prayer.Prayer is powerful. Prayer can change your life anywhere, any time—alone inquiet or in the middle of a room full of people. You can be rich, poor, belongto a church, temple, synagogue, or mosque, or sit alone in a field thatstretches out as far as the eye can see. Our higher source is everywhere—withinus and around us.

7. Drink at least eight glasses of water daily.Just as plants and animals need water to survive so do human beings need waterto survive and function properly. In fact, humans can’t live without drinkingfor more than a few days before deterioration and death set in. About 55% of the female body (60% of the malebody) is made up of water with the muscles and the brain about 75% water. Althoughhydration for survival is of the utmost importance in drinking water, drinkingwater hydrates your skin and makes you look younger, helps fend off hunger, andhelps to combat ailments. All goodreasons to include water in your daily ritual. Hmmm, seems it might be a goodidea to add pure water to the system!

8. Eatthree balanced meals (breakfast, lunch, and snack) and one metabolic boost(snack) daily every four to five hours. The best wayto begin your food recovery journey is to follow a simple formula of havingfour meals a day and breaking down each meal according to an easy structure ofspecific foods: fruit, protein, fat, vegetables, low-fat dairy, and wholegrains (see weightcontroltherapy.com for detailed menu and food suggestions).I've found, too, that at the beginning, the most workable way to do this is tocommit to your food plan prior to the start of your day, rather than merely hoping you'll arrive at this optimalarrangement by random eating.

9. Hug an adult, child, baby, and/or your furychild several times a day every day. According to the famous family therapist,Virginia Satir, “We need four hugs a day for survival, eight hugs a day formaintenance, and twelve hugs a day for growth.” In the right setting andsituation a hug is the best natural therapy for all kinds of conditions, a signof approval and affection. It is such a simple uncomplicated gesture that speaksmore to the other than actual words. Asimple hug—a universal cure available to all of us—is positive energytransmitted in its simplest and maybe oldest form.

10. Laugh, giggle, and smile. A simple smile goes along way. It immediately puts a person at ease and often is returnedspontaneously. Giggles and laughter, like a smile has medicinal benefits. WhenI think of the benefits of laughter Norman Cousins immediately comes to mind.About 30 years ago Cousins was diagnosed with an incurable and fatal spinalcolumn illness with no known cause or cure. Against the advice of his doctors,he checked out of the hospital and secluded himself in his home readinghumorous stories and watching movies that brought tears of laughter hour uponhour for a month only to return to the hospital with marked improvement—no signof the disease whatsoever.

Since then, research has shown that the healthbenefits of laughter are far-reaching including it can help relieve pain, bringgreater happiness, and even increase immunity. So, laugh yourself tohealth—beat down compulsive eating with a good belly laugh. Think of little kidswhen they laugh so hard they fall down. Like smiling and kindness, laughter iscontagious. Imagine if everyone partakes what kind of world we’d be in. Now go giggle....

Photos Taken by: Dr. Lisa
http://weightcontroltherapy.com/

2012-01-20T09:59:00.001-05:00

Is It Time To ClearYour Space?

I flicked on the light,plugged in my fountain and oil lamp, opened the blinds to let the natural lightin and rolled up my sleeves prepared to dig into my chore ahead. At the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve Iresolved to clear out clutter in my office and open my work space to rekindle thespiritual energy my office is known for. I spent an entire day dusting,vacuuming, scrubbing window ledges and shredding patient files older than sevenyears so I’d have space for the stack of files behind my chair, heaped on mydesk and tucked in the credenza. I had my work cut out for me.

As I moved in silence, fromone task to the next, memories of patients swirled in my mind. My heart achedas I came across several patients who died over the years. We bonded—swappedeating disorder war stories—and grew in spiritual, emotional, and physicalrecovery.

When I happened upon Martin’sfile (anonymous name), caressing his folder as if he were still present, I rememberedthe first session of psychotherapy and hypnosis, how trapped he’d become in hisbody. Martin carried two hundred extra pounds on his 5’10” frame. Withoutopening his file, all our past conversations bubbled up within me. Like many ofmy patients, Martin believed therapy with me was his last strand of hope torelease his obsession with food.

We began oursession with the standard questions I ask during the collection of data phasewhen first working with a patient. Once I had gathered the medical,psychological, family, and work history I moved into personal belief systems touncover hidden blocks and buried issues with regards to his eating disorder. Iasked Martin, “Do you believe you are responsible for your own recovery? Is itthe trigger food(s), or your lack of spiritual connection, or both, thatprevent you from recovery? Can your recovery take precedence over an obsessionwith and addiction to the idea of weight loss? Are you ready to clear out the clutter in yourthought process?

We discussed different approaches to treating hisdisordered eating and obesity. I suggested a program of recovery can includebut need not be limited to: psychotherapy, a Twelve-Step program, an`anonymous’ support group, the advice of a nutritionist experienced in foodaddiction, and a prayer group—or a church, synagogue, or mosque group. And the list goeson. I asked, “Which components from this list attract your attention?” He optedfor therapy, a nutritionist, and a prayer group affiliated with his church andTwelve-Step program addressing his compulsive eating.

It’smy belief if you’re not inpeak condition, mentally, physically, spiritually—if you’re not “right” withyour surroundings, and comfortable in your own skin, your full potential willbe stunted. Martin believed this to be true, that in order to open his fullpotential he needed to tap into any and all help available and clear out theclutter in his thought process.

Many of us undergo serious health consequences as a result of foodabuse. Initially Martin’s recovery from compulsive eating was out of a medicalnecessity—raging cholesterol—which led him to seek a doctor of addictionpsychology for food addiction.

Most of societydoesn’t understand or accept food addiction as a real condition. In fact,people tend to be more understanding when an alcoholic doesn’t drink because somany people don’t drink today, either because they have a problem with alcohol,take medication, or they don’t want to drink and drive. Moreover, alcoholism isseen as an addiction; whereas, this isn't the case with food addiction.

Although Martin managed toreach and maintain a healthy weight, he died at 57 from congestive heart failure,which most likely resulted from lifelong poor lifestyle habits. Sometimespatients go past the point of no return and their bodies can’t repair. Perhapsthis was the case for Martin.

Today, my office sparkles and the space I so needed isrestored. Although I shredded a mountain of files, the stories will foreverremain etched in my heart. As I closed the blinds, shut the lights, unpluggedthe fountain and oil lamp, I took one last look back at my now squeaky clean quaintspace I so love to work in, and smiled at the thought of Martin so excited whenhe was able to once again tie his shoes, ride a bike, cross his legs, and buttonthe bottom buttons of his shirt. Yes, he died perhaps earlier than his time,but he died after years of getting his life back—no longer imprisoned by hisweight. It’s never too late to clear out the clutter and reach for the stars, even if you only touch the moon.

Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Dieting on Empty: The Problem with Diet Mentality

2012-01-07T15:11:00.000-05:00

I recently helped my patient Melinda sift through her NewYear’s resolution, coaching her on diet mentality and how to make healthier food choicesto quiet her binge eating. She is a voracious dieter, never trusting herself toput together an eating-for life formula to compliment her lifestyle. In short,she had all the makings of another New Year’s resolution diet fiasco—or so Ithought.

Melinda didn’t stick with her diets, and after scrutinizingher timeline of expectation—lose two pounds a week on a 1300-a-day caloriediet—I can understand why.

It looked nothing like my own food-for-life formula, whichoffers a satisfying mix of balanced meals, exercise, meditation and prayer froman assortment of personal experience and quality recommendations from patients I’ve spent years curating and tweaking for 23 years.

Melinda’s diet left her hungry, weak, and craving sugaryand salty foods.

My patient could have groomed her assortment of dietrituals, but why should she? Like many patients, she was open to try a newdiet with the promise of quick weight loss, but not especially determined tostay on it, and her initial experience failed to deliver the promised weightloss in a more efficient way. The timeand emotional energy she’d invested in it hadn’t convinced her on the positive results,and she wasn’t motivated on investing more time.

One of the greatest strengths of investing in balanced meals,exercise, meditation, and prayer is its ability to free the binge eater fromdiet mentality. For some it’s a way of making peace with years of on-and-offdieting and to release weight for once. For others, it’s a new full-proofformula encouraging food as fuel, exercise as energy booster, meditation andprayer to feed the spiritual hunger.

What jumping off the diet-merry-go-around amountsto—weight loss, self empowerment, spiritual food, peace of mind—depends entirelyon what lifestyle balance you prescribe.

Yes, embarking on clean eating and spiritual practice alsoposes problems for some. Learning to “feel” emotions rather than eat themrequires a closer look at daily issues that were numbed by food. Jumping on a balancelife style formula is like winning the lotto—onlyinstead of getting a pile of green cash—the winner pays taxes, learns of “familyand friends” she didn’t know she had and the expectancy to clear everyone’sdebt. The experience might be a pleasant one, but it takes work.

This initial flood of emotions and the effort required toaddress it stands between the dieter and the healthy formula it needs to makepeace with diet mentality.

The list of successful patients continues to grow.

For dieters to turn over a new relationship with food,emotions, and experience a thriving, successful lifestyle, they must do thelegwork. They must begin with a balanced breakfast, lunch, metabolic boost, and dinner;incorporate with daily exercise, meditation and prayer.

But no doubt people will lack the perseverance to trust thattheir body and emotions will respond. People lose patience when rapid weightloss doesn’t come, instead a slow and steady change of body, mind and spirit evolvesover time.

Next New Year there will be no need of a New Year’sresolution promising to eat a meager 1300 calories only to give up due tostarvation. Instead, Melinda will ring in the New Year with a svelte body and aclear mind and have no need to make a resolution at all because she adopted a lifelongplan that she can live with one day at a time.

Photo Taken By: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

The Law of Higher Potential Rather Than New Year's Resolution to Release Weight and Obsessions with Food

2012-01-02T23:03:00.000-05:00

Are you starting another diet this year? Did you last year make a new year’s resolution to lose weight once and for all? How about committing to a healthier lifestyle? Did you promise yourself you would exercise or better yet you bought a fancy machine to work off excess weight starting January 1, 2012? We all make promises and yet resolutions are soon forgotten. What can you do this New Year to make it different?

Every January my phone rings off the hook, patients want an appointment to discuss their eating and/ or weight issues—to make a permanent change once and for all. Although most start with the best of intentions, the most common thing people do is make New Year’s resolutions that fall to the wayside after a few short days or at best a few months. Perhaps the answer is to stop making New Year’s resolutions and tap into the law of Higher potential—and insist and demand the remedy from the Source in order to live your plan every day regardless of what time of the year it is.

How many times have you tried to let go of your excess weight and/or obsessions with food promising a New Year's resolution? I bet you can’t even count. If you tapped into this blog I'm guessing you had an urgent need to resolve a continuous battle with commitments for positive change.

Do you believe in the law of higher potential? Or were you raised not to ask for things from God (or whatever you call your Higher Source) but rather to serve; that it's selfish to think of yourself and ask for you rather than think of others first.

With Catholic upbringing l felt guilty if I asked and expected to receive—that instead it's better to give and serve. I still believe to serve is an ultimate goal but also that the law of my higher potential is my inheritance and I can have that too. My relationship with my Higher Source has evolved over the years. I ask, expect, and receive.

Ask God for what you want and expect to get it. Persistence, with a strong-held purpose for what you desire, is the path. If you want to be thin naturally and free from obsessing about your weight or certain foods then ask for it. As certain as the sun will rise and set I'm certain you can free yourself of compulsive eating and weight issues once and for all—if you ask and expect. Don’t just whine and cry about your misfortune in this life, how you've been saddled with obesity or eating issues. Poor me isn’t going to cut it. Rise above and turn it over to the hands of God—expect and believe—and you will be lifted from your misery.

Each January we're bombarded with diet and weight loss products and pummeled with magazines, billboards, movie stars, and the television pushing the message thin is in. Is it? Take Margareta, a beautiful girl who could easily have been a movie star. At one time, not so long ago, she had the body, looks, and intelligence, but today her lovely curves are replaced with extra pounds as a result of diet mentality and faulty thinking. When she was thin she thought she was fat and obsessed over food and her weight until this belief came to fruition. She expected and believed she was fat. She binged mostly and restricted occasionally. She thought about foods she’d indulge in every wakened moment. Sometimes she refrained but mostly she downed sugary gooey foods followed by salty, fried carbohydrates. She over-exercised daily in hopes of losing weight. Although she wasn’t obese she was overweight by 30 pounds. In her mind she felt 100 pounds overweight. Why? Because she couldn't see herself as she was but only as she thought she was. And to her, she was fat, frumpy, and dumb.

Many who struggle with the obsession of food and weight are like Margarita suffocating by their own hands. She didn't believe in her beauty and that a Higher Energy would lift her burdens. Like many of us, she white-knuckled her way to her current weight.

Margarita has a history of being either too thin or too heavy and rarely in the middle. She didn't trust the natural foods God provided to fuel her and give her strength. She feared foods. She feared eating. She feared a “normal” weight because her life revolved around bingeing and dieting. What would life be like if she had to live in the now and get off the diet merry-go-round? In her mind she found relief jumping on the diet wagon after a cycle of binge eating. To her, food represented fat. We discussed eating healthy meals every four to five hours and eliminate foods that triggered her negative thinking and prompted her cravings. We talked about the power of her mind to connect with her Higher Potential. At first, she was apprehensive at the thought of setting positive health intentions and trust in the law of higher potential, but something clicked and change took hold. Her body returned to a healthy weight and diet mentality was a thought of the past.

I don’t mean to simplify the answer. Coming to terms with compulsive eating takes work. Where do we put the trust first: God, self and then good food. What is good food? No doubt to eat real foods that don't trigger compulsive eating is an excellent start place. Simple carbohydrates may trigger obsessive thoughts about food. Should you remove these foods first or call upon God first? Can you reach a Higher Source—your law of higher potential—while in the throes of eating addictively? Turn to God first and let him carry you.

Think of the Footprints:

A man asked, “Lord, You said that once I decided to follow You, You’d walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints.” The Lord replied, “My precious, precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”

Turning back to you, I ask, how many times have you tried to let go of your excess weight and obsessions with food as a New Year's resolution? You picked this blog for a reason. You are searching for the answer to what feels like a life-long problem. You have an urgent need. Like Margarita, you may have it in mind to lose 30 pounds. You might look at that number and think you have to do it all now. But you don’t. Instead try and pray and insist and demand the remedy from a Higher Energy. Tap into your Source, it’s your inheritance—a gift for you. The Divine Source loves you. God, the law of Higher Potential, is there with you every step of the way. You are His child

And if you have trouble walking along with Him, let him carry you. He is strong and tireless, loving and kind. You are worthy of his love. Give Him a try. What do you have to lose? (No pun intended). You can ask for things from God. It’s okay to serve yourself. It is not selfish to love you and to let your Higher Source love you. Break free from your obsession with food and step into a life with peace and tranquility—your Higher potential.

Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T15:53:00.000-05:00

Be comforted dear soul! There is always light behind the clouds.

~Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

Thanksgiving is a day of thanks, a day of praise, a day of gratitude for the fortunate. Who is fortunate? Is it the rich person? Perhaps the one with a roof over the head? Or is it purely existence? Is the fortunate one the person present living? It's different for everyone. My fortunate is the ability to stay present—in the now—and give thanks and praise. Present living was not always a possibility for me in the past, but now, living in this moment befriends me. Of course it's not always so easy when life is filled with trials and tribulations.

Is there always a light behind the clouds?

Can you sit still on this day of Thanksgiving and connect to the present even if there’s a dark cloud over you? Have you ever tried to stay quiet in the mind driven by gratitude? It's pure heaven. The mind always wants to think about what needs to be done next or what we already did. It's not so easy to focus on the here and now and bask in grace and gratitude when daily worries distract you from the abundance that is yours. Mortgage payments, troublesome spouses, out of control children, roofs leaking, a headache, even sour milk can interfere with your gratitude on this day of Thanksgiving, but your Higher Source (Whomever you turn to—God, Jesus, Sun, Energy, etc.) during challenging times showers continuous blessings and love down on you.

What makes me fixed on staying present when chaos surrounds me is deep breathing my way to calm—the present moment. Like you, many of my loved ones are not here on this day of giving thanks, they died or live in another state but they remain in my heart, which encourages me to sit still in gratitude for what I have in the here and now.

I took a long luxurious bike ride this morning along the Inter-coastal and Atlantic ocean with the most spectacular view before me side by side with one of my sons. As we pedaled our way up the bridge we witnessed the sun peak out over the purple/orange backdrop on the ocean shoreline breathing in the sea air. My legs are strong and my energy abound. My bike moves with me as if we are one. A new day is about to begin. I am in the now—present.

Thanksgiving was not always a time for me to sit in gratitude. I’m a recovering food addict, and in the past, today marked the eating frenzy that launched my holiday eating. Actually, truth be told, that’s not true, my out of control food fest began from Halloween until January 1 when I’d make my New Year’s resolution. On Thanksgiving day I’d until I could eat no more—until the food was all the way up to the rim of my throat and my pants cut into my bulging stomach—promising I’d diet come Monday. And Monday never came.

I am an addict addicted to processed foods and this holiday for most food addicts is lethal because there is no end to the eating or at least until we are so full the pain is greater than the need for that one more bite.

Food addiction is a loss of control over eating coupled with the physiological tolerance and psychological dependence that occurs when a specific stimulus (food) is ingested. Typically, this addiction can result in negative consequences for basic life functions and relationships with family; social situations; intimate relationships; the sufferers relationship God and spiritual development; or in relation to the law, health, and work life.

Early in childhood I was fixated on sugar—never getting enough and going to great extremes to obtain it: stealing, hiding and hoarding. Although I didn’t have an awareness of food addiction, I knew something was wrong. In hindsight, I realize I ate out of control and bargained with myself and God to stop—after this one last pastry. I felt shame if I got caught stealing food or money to buy food; yet, I didn’t have the mentality to understand I was compulsive eating until my adolescent years when weight began to pile on. And even then I didn’t know there was an actual eating disorder called, binge eating disorder—and that I had it.

What I did know was my friends ate when they were hungry and stopped when they had enough and didn’t hide or sneak their foods nor had shame. Food addicts have a severe and ongoing disturbance in the manner in which they handle food. The depiction of addiction to food resembles the hallmarks of any addiction. The food addict is caught in the grip of a compulsive, habitual behavior that can’t be controlled.

The binge eater begins eating when she didn’t plan to and can’t stop eating when she wants to. Addiction is the persistent and repetitive enactment of a behavioral pattern the person recurrently fails to resist and that consequently leads to significant physical, psychological, social, legal, or other major life problems. Loss of control over eating and obesity produce changes in the brain, which is similar to those produced by drugs of abuse.

Today I practice mindfulness. The dictionary defines mindfulness as calm awareness of one's body functions, feelings, content of consciousness, or consciousness itself. I am totally conscious of my fingers dancing over the keys putting words together. I am told mindfulness is the path to liberation and enlightenment. It is the intense purpose of staying in the now. I get this.

So, today I am present. I refuse to think about what needs to be done next or what I already did. I am present with each breath in and out. I am present to the sounds of birds singing and the whispers of the wind as it folds through the palm trees out my window. I am here and now. What makes me fixed on staying present is is the peace and tranquility it brings. And of course the whiff of turkey baking in the oven doesnt' hurt!

Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Defining Moments

2011-10-16T12:17:00.021-04:00

"It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves."
~Sir Edmund Hillary

I awakened to the sound of the phone—ring after ring—I just want it to stop. I pulled the pillow over my ears and hunkered down deeper into the mattress, but it droned on and on beckoning me to answer.

Barely awake, I glanced at the clock noting it was 4:00 in the morning. I stumbled as I made my way to the kitchen to learn who was on the other end of the phone.

I pressed the cold receiver to my ear and with great trepidation answered, "Hello." My father's panic voice blurted out, "It’s your Mom—she had a stroke! The paramedics are here. I don’t know what to do, they say they have a shot they can give her but I have to know the exact time she had her stroke. If they give her the shot too soon or too late it will kill her."

The room swirled as I tried to grasp what he was saying. I stammered something back, but to this day I don't know what I said in response. After we hung up, I recall I stood dazed and paralyzed in fear for what seemed like hours staring at the phone back in it's cradle, not certain what to do.

A defining moment— my life would never be the same.

The dreaded call was Saturday morning, the eve of Easter back in 1998. Could it be only eight hours before I was skating with such glee with my eight year old son Benjamin and collided and tumbled to the ground only to rise laughing it off twirling under the stars smiling and thanking God for what a glorious life I was living. I practiced as a clinical psychotherapist and was soon to marry my prince, living in my dream house the perfect life. And now, mom was faced with life or death. How quickly my world was turned upside down.

Driving bleary eyed, as the tears tumbled down my cheeks, I dialed patient after patient to cancel my Saturday schedule, while trying to keep my eyes and car on the road as I headed to the hospital four hours away to accompany my Dad in what was one of the saddest and most difficult moments of our lives.

We sat in the intensive care unit, each in our individual silent prayer, only interrupted with periodic conversation and sobs of disbelief. The neurologist tarnished any hope we mustered up when he inhumanely blurted out she would never walk again and guaranteed she'd endure a continuous down turn for the remaining days of her life.

Dad lowered his head into his hands shaking it back and forth mumbling, barely audible, "No, this can't be, not again," as he questioned his decision to not give mom the shot earlier this morning with the paramedics. He raised his head up slowly from his hands and he recounted one of his defining moments when his mom clung for her life nearly 50 years earlier in intensive care, and he, the oldest son, needed to translate from Italian to English and back from the doctors to his family. He made serious decisions then and serious decisions now both intertwined and played over and over in his mind.

His mom died.

He never got past his guilt and grief. And now he was faced with his wife of nearly a half of a century facing the end of her life as they both knew it.

Mom was obese, she picked up a cigarette habit in her fifties, and didn’t exercise and favored high fat foods all contributing to her situation she now faced.

I pulled my chair up as close to mom as I could, without climbing in the bed with her, and held her limp had in mine. I always admired her tiny dainty hands and feet. I watched her struggle to take one shallow breath then pause and exhale and repeat—the oxygen machine swishing in the background —her eyes closed—slipping further and further away.

There I sat inhaling the nauseating smell of bleached sheets mixed with rubbing alcohol as I pulled the spare blanket from the foot of the bed around my shoulders—teeth chattering from the cool temperature to ward off germs—when my attention went to my left leg throbbing. For a brief moment my mind moved from mom to my left leg. I startled when I saw what I thought was a teeny scratch from a fall I had taken and brushed off the night before while skating with Benjamin—it oozed with infection. I hadn't realized it was worse than I thought merely a few hours ago. Again, I pushed it out of my mind and made a life changing decision.

It was instant, at that moment, I vowed to bump up my mission to help eating disordered and addicted patients to recovery. For the rest of my life I'd give of my heart and soul to find answers and direction for those in the same space as my mother who couldn't conquer obesity. I promised to God then and there that I'd share and teach how I learned to let go of my once obese body, eat free of sugar, flour, and wheat, and lean on spiritual recovery.

I couldn’t save mom but I darn sure could share what I know with those who still had a chance to turn their lives around.

Mom died at 67 years old. She lived four more years after her stroke completely paralyzed. Those days were very good times and very bad times all rolled into one.

Now, on the Eve of every Easter I bow my head in remembrance of the early morning call over 13 years ago— when my life turned a new direction—a defining moment. I'm not saying eating free of sugar, flour, and wheat is easy but death or paralysisis is certainly worse.

Life is brief—live now, laugh now, and pray now.

http://weightcontroltherapy.com/

Photos Taken by Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

I Was On the Oprah Show—Almost!

2011-09-26T20:18:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I wasn't on Oprah, and perhaps almost was only from my perspective. The show was on persons who lost over 100 pounds and kept it off and of course were inspired by Oprah. I got close to being chosen but my mistake was not pinpointing a specific Oprah show that inspired me.

I had trouble picking a show because ALL of Oprah's shows motivated me in one way or another. I watched her from back in the early Chicago days on AM Chicago when I was struggling financially, physically, and emotionally. Often I only had a few dollars to my name and barely enough money to fill my gas tank and yet I never found it difficult to binge eat. Hmmm, an addict—food in my case—always finds money for the substance one way or another.

When the Chicago brutally cold winters became more than I could stand, I moved to Florida—very saddened at the idea of not watching AM Chicago which Oprah hosted. But, as luck would have it, the Oprah Show was syndicated a few months after I moved (September 8, 1986) and one day before my birthday day on September 9, 1986. What a gift!

A few years back I dragged my sister Christy to Oprah's store in Chicago to purchase something from Oprah's closet. My sister didn't "get" why I had to have a piece of Oprah's personal wardrobe in my closet. She thought I wanted to wear it—but of course I wanted it authentic—untouched by my body. So, in my closet hangs an Oprah shirt, and not just any old shirt. It's a Richard Metzgar crisp white cotton shirt with bell sleeves that fan out at the bottom.

And of course while I was in Oprah's store I purchased an O baseball cap, magnets with her slogans of motivation for my refrigerators and I snapped a gazillion pictures of Harpo's buildings.

Yes, no doubt Oprah has inspired me, not only in weight loss success but in all of my successes, even though I couldn't pick a particular show.

So, what does this have to do with almost being on Oprah's show—or anything for that matter. Although I failed to mention what particular show inspired me, which cost me the chance to appear as a guest on Oprah's show, it didn't stop me from reflecting on how far I've come in understanding my food addiction and helping scores of others find answers and direction to their eating disorders.

No doubt, Oprah has been a mentor to me from back in the days when I was a young woman who branched out alone from a small town in Wautoma Wisconsin back to my roots in Chicago, Illinois at the age of 21, without any degrees or money in my pocket and made my way through college, master's degree and a doctorate degree. I had tons of student loans to carry me through my dreams and to date I am happy to report I'm debt free because I learned to respect myself and my money. Yes, I learned this from many of Oprah's shows.

I always felt (and feel) each step towards growth Oprah made I did too—even with weight going up and weight going down. I, like Oprah, had a best friend Yvonne, who I cherished and still do. She died in 1997 in her sleep. Watching Oprah helped me through the most trying loss I had ever had at that time.

Prayer, meditation, intentions, intention map were tools I learned years back from Oprah's shows—with the intent to go on Oprah.

Dr. Wayne Dyer, in Excuses Begone! states, "...when you engage in the act of active contemplation, you set in motion a powerful force—you allow yourself to be lived by the great universal mind or Tao (p.103). In other words when you set the process of creation into action, what you contemplated comes to fruition.

The day the show I almost was on aired my heart ached with anticipation as it began and then as I watched each persona twirl and unveil their large clothes, letting them fall to the floor, a burst of relief took hold. This is not what I represent—diet mentality and showing off weight loss. Instead, my goal is to paint a picture of hope and relief from food addiction and eating disorders. I aspire to light the way to a better way of living. I bring focus to recovery and the added boost is weight loss if needed.

I hold a doctorate in addiction psychology and I'm certified as a certified eating disorder specialist and have personal recovery from an eating disorder which helps me to help others.

So, I didn't make it on the Oprah Show, I'm still contemplating and sending out my intentions which I intend to manifest to appear on OWN but in a different capacity than a rah rah look at me and my weight loss to let me show you the way to peace and tranquility once and for all—to break free from your food addiction and obesity.

I'm relieved my Higher Source didn't manifest my intention prematurely. My time will come. Oprah's made a huge impact in my life and will continue to in all my adventures left to unfold.

I no longer want to be on the outside looking in to what might have been but rather to what will be.

Photos taken by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Chemical Reactions To Food

2011-09-07T09:10:00.000-04:00

I’m often asked how I went from 234 pounds to 139 pounds after years of bouncing up and down with my weight. Let’s be clear, I was the yo yo dieter of the year from early adolescents through my thirties. My weight and my relationship with food were a constant struggle for me until I began to understand my chemical reaction to certain foods.

After years of trial and error, research, clinical knowledge, weight loss, and stability of weight, I became a gentler spirit once I accepted sugar, flour and wheat caused me great distress. I learned highly processed, high fat, high sugar foods immediately produced a massive headache, irritability, and an all out food binge.

These days, I follow a simple formula breaking down each meal with structure (four meals a day each consisting of specific foods: fruit, protein, fat, vegetables, low fat dairy, and whole grains) and commitment rather than eating randomly. I also include daily exercise such as walking or biking along the ocean and try and live my life as a prayer.

No, I am certainly not perfect (and realize I sound as if this is so easy), and life is not always bliss. I would love to eat any food I want, but I realize the consequences aren’t worth the indulgence. I do get mad at life when I’m tired and work too many hours, or when I have to turn down an invitation to an event because the atmosphere won’t be conducive to my bringing my own foods, or when everyone will be eating a delectable piece of chocolate cake and I’ll be stuck eating a piece of fruit with yogurt.

But, no matter what life struggles present themselves, I know that binge eating simply isn’t an option—nor are sugar, flour, or wheat on my food list, because I understand that the sleeping giant of addiction within will wake, and chaos will return with a vengeance if I ingest any of these. I compare my situation to that of a heroin addict, who can't have just a smidgen of heroin; he must abstain completely to stay clean.

When I began to follow these specific guidelines—even when I didn’t want to—my negative mind chatter quieted, and for the first time I could become still, and hear God’s whispers. I connected to my inner strengths, and a spiritual understanding emerged in me. I found inner peace, God, and love. Love for myself, others, and the universe evolved inside me.

Not only was I calmer, kinder, and less self-centered, but I began to perceive a bigger picture. I saw food as real and not real: God’s food and man’s food. I chose food of the earth, sea, and air rather than processed and boxed. I turned to God, and the "noise" in my head ceased, and the addiction flattened. These days, I eat to live rather than live to eat. Healthful foods and a refreshed faith are now my fuel to retain optimal health and weight.

Photo Taken By: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Hypnosis and Relief From Obsessive Eating

2011-08-20T18:50:00.005-04:00

“Touch the earth, love the earth, honour the earth, her plains, her valleys, her hills, and her seas rest your spirit in her solitary places.” ~ Earnest Dimnet

Don’t you wish there was a solitary place where you could rest your spirit? Don’t you wish you could stop your obsession with food with the snap of fingers? Don’t you wish you could rid yourself of vomiting your food for fear of gaining weight and instead learn to eat healthy and maintain a “normal” weight? What if I told you there’s a sanctuary—a paradise in your mind—where you can get relief once and for all. What if I told you hypnosis might be your answer.

My students in the introduction to psychology course I teach are fascinated by the subject of hypnosis. They can hardly wait for the discussion of the chapter on hypnosis and inevitably ask me questions about it each week prior to the week hypnosis is the topic—and make further queries during all the weeks that follow. Why such an interest? Perhaps it’s the mystery that seems to surround the topic of hypnosis. The questions I’m asked after the initial one, “What is hypnosis?” are “Does it really work?” “Can anybody be hypnotized?” “Will I get lost in there?” On and on, the questions flow—and of course, one by one I tackle each inquiry.

The issues my patients raise are very similar to the ones brought up by my students, except my patients experience hypnosis firsthand specifically to release their obsessions with food, to lose weight, to quit smoking or put a stop to other addictions or to let go of a range of fears and phobias. I tell them hypnosis is definitely not a “fix all” resolution to their problem at hand but rather an excellent tool to jumpstart a recovery and often help them connect to their Higher Source by moving deeper into the subconscious mind—a springboard toward prayer and meditation.

To better understand hypnosis I begin with the explanation on what hypnosis is and isn’t, and if it really works down to who can get hypnotized and gosh will I get lost in there and end up stuck in some garden in the mind or worse a purgatory of some sort.

What is hypnosis?

Hypnosis is a super-concentrated state of mind brought about by suggestions, which can be direct or indirect. Hypnosis produces a hypnotic state, or trance that’s actually a natural phenomenon. One can tap into this relaxed state of mind through intentional self-hypnosis (the person hypnotizes himself), through induction by a therapist, or accidentally by sheer repetition of a phrase or "mantra." The hypnotic state is a "normal" altered state of consciousness, similar to, but not the same as being awake. It also is similar to but not the same as being asleep.

Does hypnosis work?

It’s possible, without a shadow of a doubt, to redirect your thinking through the effect of suggestions to the mind by means of hypnosis.

Take Tabatha, a redheaded beauty, who strolled into my office cautiously guarded for fear hypnosis might not rid her of habitual purging of food once and for all. She’d purged since she was 13 years old, and when she came to see me was closing in on 50 years old. She had purged, at the least, five times a day for 37 uninterrupted years.

Tabatha and I met several times for psychotherapy sessions before we delved into hypnosis. She was prepared to let go of this horrendous nightmare of clinging to dirty toilet bowls in public restaurants to rid herself of her just-eaten meal while spitting up clumps of blood and experiencing anxiety attacks after a bout of dry heaves. Her eyes, sunk deep into her skull, were surrounded by the dark black bruises that often accompany purging, and she looked as if she had been in a boxing brawl. She was ready.

Can anyone get hypnotized?

No one can be hypnotized unwillingly. Hypnotic suggestibility is based on the person's willingness and trust. It is also based on freedom from fear on the subject’s part. Every person can be hypnotized with the exception of infants, psychotics, mentally retarded persons and/or individuals who lack attention span, concentration and comprehension.

Will I get lost in there?

No, all subjects are in control of their journey in hypnosis and can be brought out of hypnosis at the suggestion or on their own. Hypnosis under trained experts has definite therapeutic value, but again is not magic and definitely is advised against the non-scientific amateur. And at no time in this blog do I suggest or encourage depth analysis by the individual, for those who are seriously mentally or emotionally disturbed who must seek expert help. My aim is to show how the rest of us who are leading “lives of quiet desperation,” can acquire through a hypnotic trance the ability to connect with their Higher Source and with people as an additional step toward freedom from compulsive eating.

There is a solitary place where you can rest your spirit and stop your obsession with food almost with the snap of fingers. You can rid yourself of purging, restricting, dieting, and obsessing over food and maintain a normal healthy body weight. There is a sanctuary—a paradise in your mind—where you can get relief once and for all. Yes, hypnosis with a credentialed, licensed practitioner might be your answer to a life-long crippling illness.

Photo by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Revising Your Path to Releasing Your Obsession with Food…

2011-08-01T15:17:00.000-04:00

Don’t you wish someone could tell you how close you are to finally resolving your weight issues and food obsession? Don’t you wish someone could say, “If you just keep at it and understand why you eat you’re certain to stop binge eating?”

Or even if it would be heartbreaking, wouldn’t it be nice to be told that you’re wasting your time going on yet another diet, so that you could move on, try another tack, or simply eat foods that bring you personal pleasure and release your obsession from food, with no other aim in mind?

I’ve counseled thousands of patients and spoke to large groups over the years. Even though I may not able to personally work with each of them, I can usually say something definitive about what their next steps should be. I often see when their diet is wasting their time.

No matter where you are on your own food path, it’s smart to periodically take stock of where you’re headed, and revise your eating plan as necessary. Here are some steps you can take to do just that.

Recognizing Yo Yo Dieting Isn’t Working

I’m often asked how I went from overweight to normal weight after years of bouncing up and down with my weight. Let’s be clear, I was the yo yo dieter of the year from early adolescents through my thirties. My weight and my relationship with food were a constant struggle for me until I began to understand my chemical reaction to certain foods. After years of trial and error, research, clinical knowledge, weight loss, and stability of weight, I recognized eating whole, natural foods free of sugar, flour, and wheat restored my moods and I instantly became calm and centered.

Eat Three Meals and One Half-Meal Daily

These days, I follow a simple formula breaking down each meal with structure (four meals a day each consisting of specific foods: fruit, protein, fat, vegetables, low fat dairy, and whole grains) and commitment rather than eating randomly. I also include daily exercise such as walking or biking along the ocean and try and live my life as a prayer.

Progress Not Perfection

No, I am certainly not perfect (and realize I sound as if this is so easy), and life is not always bliss. I would love to eat any food I want, but I realize the consequences aren’t worth the indulgence. I do get mad at life when I’m tired and work too many hours, or when I have to turn down an invitation to an event because the atmosphere won’t be conducive to my bringing my own foods, or when everyone will be eating a delectable piece of chocolate cake and I’ll be stuck eating a piece of fruit with yogurt. But, no matter what life struggles present themselves, I know that binge eating simply isn’t an option—nor are sugar, flour, or wheat on my food list, because I understand that the sleeping giant of addiction within will wake, and chaos will return with a vengeance if I ingest any of these. I compare my situation to that of a heroin addict, who can't have just a smidgeon of heroin; he must abstain completely to stay clean.

Make Room—A Higher Source Is Present

When I began to follow these specific guidelines—even when I didn’t want to—my negative mind chatter quieted, and for the first time I could become still, and hear God’s whispers. I connected to my inner strengths, and a spiritual understanding emerged in me. I found inner peace, God, and love. Love for myself, others, and the universe evolved inside me.

Not only was I calmer, kinder, and less self-centered, but I began to perceive a bigger picture. I saw food as real and not real: God’s food and man’s food. I chose food of the earth, sea, and air rather than processed and boxed. I turned to God, and the "noise" in my head ceased, and the addiction flattened. These days, I eat to live rather than live to eat. Healthful foods and a refreshed faith are now my fuel to retain optimal health and weight.

Last Thoughts

At the very beginning of this blog, I suggested it’s possible to release your obsession from food addiction when you let go of diet mentality if someone can lead the journey or point you in the right direction.

Here’s a little piece of hope: If your immediate thought was, I can’t live with obsessive eating any longer, then you are much closer to making peace with your food addiction than you might think. The battle is much more chemically imbalanced than you might think. Those who can’t be dissuaded are much more likely to reach their goals, regardless of the path they originally chose.

Photo by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

A Day at the Beach...

2011-07-17T17:51:00.000-04:00

A Day at the Beach...

Today was one of those incredible days. I took a long bike ride along the beach in total awe at the magnificent purple and peach hues peeking through the cluster of white clouds as a backdrop to the crisp shades of blue that twinkled off the sea. With each press down on the pedal I gave thanks for all my blessings that continue to flow into my life. I remember a time when cycling was quite difficult for my 234 pound frame to have enough stamina to make it over the bridge without an abrupt stop to walk the incline.

This very shoreline in Hollywood, Florida is no strange place to me. Yvonne, my very best friend, and I were in our mid and early twenties respectively when we managed to scrape together enough money from our income tax return and jumped on a plane from Chicago and headed to what I refer to as paradise. I fell totally in love with Florida years before when I was only twelve and promised to one day return. I did.

Now, I fast forward 31 years on this very beach that brought me joy back then and today (though much has happened) with the birth of new memories, though I cling to what was. At 44 years old Yvonne passed away unexpectedly in her sleep but I hold on to the ten years of reminiscence when we flew back and forth from Chicago until I finally took the plunge and moved here permanently. So our giggles, tears, and serious talks live on in me and the beauty today I am so blessed to embrace is still the same.

Many a bike rides, power walks, and baby carriage strolls I indulged on this very beach. In my twenties with Yvonne I was knee-deep in my food addiction with a preoccupation with food and my body weight. Back then, I thought I didn't have "will" power to maintain any kind of diet to earn a "respectable" body size. Today I know it had nothing to do with diets or will power and everything to do with a chemical imbalance when I ate certain foods. I didn't have a clue that I couldn't tolerate sugar, flour, and wheat. I wish I did.

All I knew in my younger years was that I had uncontrollable cravings and never had enough to eat and lived life in shame. I thought there was something wrong with me because I had no control over my food while Yvonne couldn't care less about when, what, or how we ate as she pranced about with this amazing body tucked in a teeny tiny bikini and I hid behind an oversized t-shirt.

Today, as my strong lean legs gracefully pump the pedals with such ease the warm ocean breeze cools my face. I am alive and free. I'm liberated from the pain that comes from binge eating addictive foods. I am in such a different frame of mind compared to those yesteryears. Daily, I practice active recovery from food addiction.

As long as I eat three balanced meals at the same time each day and a metabolic snack, free of sugar, flour, and wheat I am good. I don't need anything more or less. I operate at an optimal level and all guilt and shame is completely wiped away. My body is a "normal" weight, and on and off diet mentality is no longer the way I live my life. Instead, I adopted a healthy lifestyle where I walk, bike, meditate, play, pray, eat healthy "real" foods, all sprinkled with spiritual balance as my base.

Today was one of those incredible days I wished to bottle forever but thunder in the background shook me from my daze and pushed me to a Lance Armstrong pedal pace to beat the storm. I'm grateful and thankful for a beach day and to you Yvonne for insisting we spend our money and make Florida an annual trip when we were young girls with crazy dreams. Without your nudge I wouldn't live in paradise blessed with a healthy body and a healthy mind where dreams do come true.

Life is good! I am thankful...

Photo by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Happy Birthday America!

2011-07-04T22:59:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday America! It's hard to believe the Fourth of July weekend is once again coming to an end. So often we go through this holiday weekend marking the event with picnics, barbeques, and various outdoor activities. But, the 4th of July is much more than a day off of work. For me, it's a day worth remembering and reminiscing.

I'm grateful for my independence and freedom to live in this great country. Yes, it’s the day America decided to become independent of Great Britain and represents freedom to make our own rules and be responsible for our welfare, but it also is a time to look back and remember family events—good and bad.

This morning my day began with sunny, blue skies, white puffy clouds, birds singing and a wonderful walk, talk and prayer time with my sister. No doubt, a start to a picture perfect South Florida day! Independence Day is a time for Americans to remember and celebrate what was and what is—not only for our country but for your personal desires.

Are you on course?

Although today is truly glorious day for me, somewhere someone out there is mourning something. Perhaps a family member is sick, or you lost someone you love, or maybe you personally are facing a challenge of your own. I’m certain there are many fur-children out there not too happy. I can attest to my Sage’s fear of fireworks which is inevitable this entire weekend.

Also on this day I think of my Mom and recall several Fourth of Julys before and after she suffered a massive stroke. I am filled with joy for great memories as well as sadness. The first 4th of July after her stroke I questioned how the world could still move forward while I was suspended in gripping emotional pain.

And yet, no matter where you are in your life today, even though you might be grappling with an emotional, physical, or spiritual loss, the 4th of July must go on. It is no doubt a time for celebration, which includes: picnics, boat outings, Barbeques, et cetera, along with foods, drinks and temptations. This is the American way!

I can't help but wonder what role food plays in illnesses, losses, and death. In my line of work (eating disorders and mood disorders) holidays can be very difficult when platters of favorite foods are presented in front of you. I have a long history of active food addiction that certainly was fired up during this very holiday weekend. My recollection brings me to our summer vacation home in Wautoma, Wisconsin where we began each morning of our holiday weekend with several boxes of glazed, chocolate, and long-john doughnuts filled with cream washed down with chocolate milk or a huge breakfast of eggs, bacon, cheese, and loaves of Italian bread slathered in butter.

Holidays meant lots of foods tempting me to eat myself into a coma. Today is different; I understand my food addiction and practice recovery every day. It’s not always easy and certainly I’m not perfect. I have witnessed in my practice, as a certified addiction professional, and certified eating disorder professional the different facets of eating disorders, none of which are easy to move from active addiction to recovery. But, it can be done.

My Mom had her own battle with food and weight. She spent all of her adult life obese and she ate large portions of high fat, salty foods. Perhaps she grew her body rather than restricted to accomplish hiding within her body. My grandmother, also a large woman, bounced from diets to bingeing. No doubt my food issues were inherited genetically and environmentally. Mom died just before her 67th birthday.

I believe unprocessed foods play a huge role in healthy minds and healthy bodies. All of my self-hypnosis CDs addresses the importance of clean eating, exercise, and spiritual recovery.

And so here we are on this glorious day. The Florida sun tucked away for the evening as festivities of 4th of July come to a halt. I wonder, as the last bits of fireworks fall from the sky, sounds still within ear shot, how many close this day with full bellies and empty bellies both rumbling from restricting or bingeing. Many are alone and lonely, turning to food for comfort...or not. Eating disorders come in many guises. It does not matter if your black or white...or somewhere in between. It does not matter if you're rich or poor...or somewhere in the middle.

Today, I celebrate America's Independence. I celebrate my independence. I broke away from food controlling me...and now live free. I hope those suffering and hurting today will find independence from pain and sadness—and the loss of loved ones. Life is to be celebrated. America is to be celebrated. Let's wave our flag proudly. We live in a country that offers help and hope to all.

Photo by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Spiritual Food Vs. Whole Food

2011-06-20T15:06:00.000-04:00

What would we expect of someone who feeds only on fast food and unhealthy snacks filled with sugar and fats? A healthy body? I think not. What about a long life? Of course not. We would expect physical health to decline as a result of the food intake. Is it any different with spiritual food?

Could it be the intake of the divine source could restore a food addict to an all encompassing state of health?

The food addict knows all too well today’s culture is loaded with unhealthy processed foods, but what about spiritual food? Today we are inundated with information that is less than palatable for the spiritual self that captures our attention on a daily basis. In the advent of technology, unsavory information leaks out in all directions that distract us from purposeful living. And much of what we feed on is unhealthy spiritually and nutritionally.

"You are what you eat" applies not only in the physical world, but also in the spiritual world. In our pursuit of spiritual food and whole food, our minds and bodies hunger for genuine nutrition from both realms.

Our bodies are our temples while our minds should be our sanctuary. God calls us to watch our diets. It pleases Him when we care for His temple, our bodies. But it pleases Him much more when we care for His mind, our sanctuary. It’s the creative divine spirit that is able to manifest anything it contemplates, and making the decision to co-create your program of recovery with your higher source will carry you beyond your greatest wishes.

With your creator all things are possible. Without the higher energy and not participating in a food program of recovery the disease will resurface.

There's no way to take in junk without becoming junky. The force behind recovery is what drives the transcendence that far surpasses the attachment to binge eating. It is the spiritual dimension, a unifying field that integrates the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of being.

Spiritual healing alone works if you’re not dealing with a chemical imbalance. Without hindrance, let His thoughts nourish you both physically and mentally.

The spiritual dimension is the essence of self and also transcends the self. It’s our closest, most direct experience of the universal life force. Food addiction is beyond our control without the help of a higher energy to transcend us from our pain so we can attend to address our own issues and well being.

Yes, it is the presence of a strong spiritual source combined with whole foods that can restore the food addict to an all encompassing state of health. We can expect a physical and mental transformation feeding on whole foods free of cakes, fried foods, and ice cream replaced by nutritional foods such as a mix of vegetables, fresh fruits, whole grains, pure oils, dairy, and protein.

Perhaps our body and mind will respond to the the spiritual food and whole food with a longer life, physical restoration, and spiritual fulfillment.

Photo taken by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Obesity in America...

2011-06-05T17:24:00.000-04:00

On an Oprah show I heard Mrs. Obama discussing the obesity epidemic in America and how change needs to take place, especially getting children to incorporate more exercise and healthy foods as part of their daily lifestyle.

Great idea! But is it realistic?

I can't count how many families have sought my help with their children's obesity. When I suggest the entire family get off sugar, white flour and processed foods they get the deer-caught-in-the head-lights look. Or they stare at me like I sprouted horns right in front of their very eyes.

I go on gently to explain how attracted we are to processed foods because they are addictive and I discuss what food addiction looks like in children and adults. I share my food addiction story along with my recovery and often, in time, they begin to nod their heads as they hear their story in my story.

Early in childhood I was fixated on sugar—never getting enough and going to great extremes to obtain it: stealing, hiding and hoarding.

Although I didn’t have an awareness of food addiction, I knew something was wrong.

In hindsight, I realized I ate out of control and bargained with myself and God to stop—after this one last pastry. I felt shame if I got caught stealing food or money to buy food; yet, I didn’t have the mentality to understand I was compulsive eating until my adolescent years when weight began to pile on. And even then I didn’t know there was an actual eating disorder called, binge eating disorder—and that I had it.

What I did know was my friends ate when they were hungry and they instincually knew to stop eating when they were full, and they didn’t hide or sneak their foods, nor did they have shame every time they ate.

Food addicts have a severe and ongoing disturbance in the manner in which they handle food. The depiction of addiction to food resembles the hallmarks of any addiction. The food addict is caught in the grip of a compulsive, habitual behavior that can’t be controlled.

The binge eater begins eating when she didn’t plan to and can’t stop eating when she wants to. Addiction is the persistent and repetitive enactment of a behavioral pattern the person recurrently fails to resist and that consequently leads to significant physical, psychological, social, legal, or other major life problems.

Loss of control over eating and obesity produce changes in the brain, which is similar to those produced by drugs of abuse.

Food addiction is a loss of control over eating coupled with the physiological tolerance and psychological dependence that occurs when a specific stimulus (food) is ingested. Typically, this addiction can result in negative consequences for basic life functions and relationships with family; social situations; intimate relationships; the sufferers relationship with God and spiritual development; and/or in relation to the law, health, and work life.

Research indicates more than half of Americans are overweight and at least a quarter near obesity. Weight loss products and services cost consumers over 50 billion dollars annually and the numbers are climbing. More than 325,000 deaths are attributable to obesity-related causes each year.

My mother and grandmother were included in these statistics; their lives were shortened through a series of strokes and finally pneumonia as a result of their obesity.

So, yes I applaud Mrs. Obama for addressing children and family obesity and the wonderful suggestions she brings to the table. Unfortunately, I believe the problem goes deeper than exercise and healthy food choices. Food addiction is rampant and until their is a clear understanding about what it is and what the signs are all the diet and exercise suggestions will continue to go unheard.

Photo Taken by: Benjamin Crego

Awakenings...

2011-05-24T09:28:00.000-04:00

All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is an awakening? Dictionary.com defines an awakening as a recognition, realization, or coming into awareness of something. I think of an awakening as being present—in the now. How often do you go through the motions of life missing out on the simple things such as the birds singing or a daffodil in bloom? When was the last time you truly looked deeply at something—anything—in it’s natural setting?

I’d been a bit overwhelmed with teaching, my practice, working on my book, and traveling that I realized I need to slow down this whirlwind of a life and take a day for me to catch my breath. I “turned it over” to a higher source.

When I walk with God and live life as a prayer I awaken without fail to His beauty and His grace—and awareness takes hold.

Night after night birds outside my bedroom window started singing at the top of their little whistles to the point my slumber’s interrupted.

What’s going on I ask?

The birds are turned around—at least the ones out my bedroom window in the middle of the night.

The birds continued to sing all through the night while during the day beautiful purple/pink flowers bloomed around my St. Francis statue in the yard. I didn’t even plant these flowers! In fact, I didn’t even notice they were there—and the statue is smack in front of my kitchen window that I stare out of continuously throughout the day.

I’ve always been drawn to St. Francis. I actually learned recently that I was born in St. Francis hospital in Blue Island, Chicago, Illinois. And when my Mom passed away her prayer card was a picture of St. Francis of Assisi on one side and Father Rookey’s Miracle Prayer on the other. Hmmmm—coincidence? I think not.

I read once where there is great love there is miracles. How can you not feel love when you see a flower in full bloom—or hear birds singing smack in the middle of the night?

To awaken is to be close to a higher source.

So, upon reflection, perhaps my busyness with life blocked my awareness of the beauty that surrounds me. God tapped, then knocked—then threw a brick (i.e. birds singing LOUD well into the night) just to get my attention—to slow down, and stop and smell the flowers, see the cobalt blue sky, and embrace all the amazing beauty right in front of my very eyes. I am awake.

I can see how it might be possible for a man to look down upon the earth and be an atheist, but I cannot conceive how he could look up into the heavens and say there is no God.
~ Abraham Lincoln

Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

I'm a Food Junkie...

2011-05-16T22:44:00.000-04:00

My first real summer job, at the age of 13, was at the local bakery in town in Wautoma, Wisconsin. Getting that job I’d thought I won the lottery ticket. I had access to the goods five days a week with little supervision. It was a Willie Wonka life—for real. I ate bakery from the second the boss left until I clocked out.

Hi, my name is Lisa—I’m a food junkie. A food junkie thinks about food every waking moment: She/He is an addict. An addict is someone who is physiologically dependent on a substance.

My dependence began in early childhood but I wasn’t aware of it. At first I needed a doughnut to feel calm and it progressed to two, three, and four—and before I knew it the bakers dozen wasn’t cutting it.

I binged daily on cakes, cookies, doughnuts and freshly baked hot bread slathered in butter. But soon after taking my first bite of a “sugary/salty treat,” I fluctuated between a hair-raising, euphoric “sugar high” and a dark, negative wretchedness. To make matters worse, my weight swelled to 100 pounds over my ideal weight.

An abrupt deprivation of simple carbohydrates produced withdrawal symptoms. Chocolate bars, cakes, cookies, alcoholic beverages, sweetened soft drinks are simple sugar sources that provide calories, but usually no nutrients. From the sugar, I experienced depression, anxiety, and irritability only to return back to such sweets to fend off my melancholy, tranquilize my sense of being ill at ease, and lessen my agony—intense physical and mental suffering.

I experienced a violent struggle between outbursts of excitement and despair. A vicious cycle indeed! I didn’t realize these quickly metabolized carbohydrates briefly made me feel wonderful but then took me from that deceptive, blissful high to a tumultuous low.

I developed a physical dependence from chronic use of chocolate, cookies, cakes, and salty pretzels, which produced a high tolerance to them.

The chemical dependence is related to changes in the addict’s brain chemistry. Those changes involve the “pleasure circuit,” where, because of sensitivity to these substances, certain neurotransmitters and receptors create pleasurable feelings after being stimulated by simple carbohydrates.

With an abrupt deprivation of simple carbs, I experienced withdrawal symptoms, including severe headaches and body aches, and I broke out in a cold sweat and was irritable and fatigued. I found comfort in nothing except returning to sweets and starches.

In order to experience the symptoms of withdrawal, one must have first developed a chemical dependence. This happens after consuming one or more of these substances for a certain period of time, which is both dose dependent and varies based upon the drug consumed.

I first developed a chemical dependence after consuming sweets and salty simple carbohydrates every day in large quantities for months, to the point of being well beyond full. The negative symptoms of withdrawal were the result of abrupt discontinuation or cutting back on the amounts I consumed.

The higher the dose of sugar and starches typically the worse the physical dependence, and thus, the worse the withdrawal symptoms. Withdrawal symptoms can last days, weeks, or months, or on occasion even longer and will vary from individual to individual.

Although my sensitivity to certain foods was well in place in my formative years (and most likely from conception) it was my first real summer job at the local baker that really opened my eyes that I had a problem. My weight soared and I couldn’t stop eating. Answers and solutions only came to me later in life after years of studying, working with patients and making drastic changes in my own life style.

I learned if I numb my feelings through addictive foods I am incapable if action or feeling emotion, blocking joy from my life and entering a vicious cycle. But, but when I allowed myself to be vulnerable and let myself be “seen” rather than anesthetized from addictive foods, I could reach a spiritual awakening and perhaps with my awareness I can drop a seed of hope to others.

Easter Day...

2011-04-24T15:50:00.018-04:00

When I think of pale yellow daffodils with deep golden centers the first thought that pops into my head is Easter and spring time. The second thought is Lent. Today is Easter and Lent has come to a close.

My Lenten plan was to go to church every Sunday and to be kind to everyone—no matter what. Well, I didn’t quite make it, but I did my best. Lent is the forty-day-long liturgical season of fasting and prayer before Easter. I definitely don’t engage in the fasting part, as anyone who knows me will tell you I’m not nice when I’m deprived of "my" food. So, I continue to eat my three healthy meals a day with a half meal as a snack, and it works like a charm.

When I think of the meaning of Lent, I can't help but slip into my many memories of vowing to God I will not eat chocolate, sugar, and flour for forty days and forty nights. Back in the days, on Ash Wednesday, I would sit in the pew, teeth clenched, with the promise to never ever binge on sugary, chocolaty foods starting day one of Lent. I promised—only to fall a few short days into my penance.

This morning with church jam packed from one end to the other, I was without a seat, pressed against the side wall with an opportunity to observe everyone. As I looked around the church, watching all those sitting comfy in their pew, I let my mind wander, while a priest I didn’t know went on talking about how great it was to see the church full, and at the same time I scanned the room assessing and guessing what each person gave up for lent and questioned if they were relieved that today they can indulge once again, or if they made it as far as they intended on Ash Wednesday.

Then my mind reverted back to myself—hmmm—I guess I could yell at someone today. Not. I can't miss the point and move in the wrong spiritual direction of where I strive to be. As my mind continued to wander and wonder which of these folks gave up alcohol, or maybe drugs, sex...or some behavior or thought they were agonizing over. I used to give up this, that, or the other, and made it for just a few days before succumbing to my addiction: food.

As far back as a small child I gave up candy for Lent. And even then I couldn’t string but a few days together before diving into some gooey treat. If mom didn’t catch me then my conscience did. I always felt God watched and one day He would punish me for will power deficit. But, today I know my God of understanding is filled with love and that will power has nothing to do with addiction and that abstinence for me was (and is) the resolution. Today, I left church snug, with my conscience in tact, and feeling all the glory of Easter.

It is evident to me that I have come a very long way from those many Lenten seasons of the past. I made my way back to my car smiling and nodding at others and they responded in kind—I pondered to myself on how warm and loving their eyes were and at the extra gaze they so generously gave. I think I’ll continue practicing kindness and love.

Photo by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Spiritual Being....

2011-03-24T23:04:00.015-04:00

Another day is about to unfold. I always look forward to the treasures of life that await me. This morning I rode my bike along the Hollywood, Florida Inter-Coastal and up the bridge and along the sea side. What a view! As I pedaled with energy and enthusiasm I thought about how I used to feel exhausted and full of dispair. I have come a long way from the overweight girl with body, mind, and spirit deficits to living my best life.

After swinging from one diet to another my food addiction made me so desperate that I fell to my knees in hopelessness, and then I began to carve out a God. God can be a gentle breeze, the sun, or light. What you call this great energy doesn’t matter. You could call it God, Lesley, Sam, or Toto—a name is simply that, a name. God is bigger than what you call Him/It. He is consciousness—a higher self of me. He was in me all along. Sort of like the situation of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. She had everything she needed within herself, and it only took the wizard to point her in the right direction to learn what she had within all along.

Tap deep into your own desires and you’ll find what it is you’re looking for. God may show up for you while you pray, sleep, dance, swim, or when you’re in a compulsive eat-frenzy and can’t stop. You’ll find Him through your understanding of what He is. People are often confused about the difference between religion and spirituality.

Religion isn't necessarily a context for the spiritual. Religion can be defined as a (mental) belief in and reference to a supernatural power or powers regarded as creator and governor of the universe. It’s an institutionalized or even personal system grounded in such (mental) belief and, ideally, worship—which consists of a mental/emotional turning to that supernatural reference point. Religion generally includes a set of credos, values, and practices based on the teachings of a spiritual leader. It is a cause, principle, or activity pursued with zeal or conscientious devotion and/or mental allegiance.

Religion, hopefully, encompasses an increasing experience of the spiritual reality of one’s relationship with God. Over the years, my own spiritual practice evolved into honest conversations with God, meditations, rides along the ocean, silence, and letting go of my silly mind chatter. From these efforts and spontaneous arisings, I felt an inner transformation and an overall improved sense of well-being emerge. This process of frequently turning to the greater power in all sincerity brought me closer to a spiritual connection I couldn’t find with my religion alone. Thus, I have come to see a difference between religion itself and the spirituality it may or may not foster.

Yes, another day is about to unfold. I always look forward to the treasures of life that await me. This morning I rode my bike along the Hollywood, Florida Inter-Coastal and up the bridge and along the sea side and I saw God's art work splashed in hues of orange, purple, and shades of green behind white puffs of clouds. What a spectacular view! I have grown spiritually, emotionally, and physically from the obese girl I was.

Binge Eating Disorder vs. Food Addiction

2011-03-10T11:54:00.013-05:00

Do I have Binge Eating Disorder or is it Food Addiction, or Could it be a Combination of Both? Have you ever gone back for an extra serving of food when you weren't hungry? How about mindless eating between meals on occasion? I’m sure most of us at some time or another took an additional serving (or two) of food or ate unplanned meals especially during holidays, birthdays, and long weekends. Let's face it temptations to over-indulge are all around us.

So, what makes the difference between an occasional over indulgence, or binge eating? What about food addiction? When is it a food addiction? To make matters more confusing, when is it binge eating disorder and when it is food addiction? And, could it actually be a combination of the two?

When was the last time you binged a bushel of apples or a bucket of broccoli? I'm willing to bet not too often. How about a box of cookies, bag of potato chips, or chocolate bars? Ah...hitting a nerve am I? If you look around I am certain you will see at every turn someone who binge eats. Do you?

Millions of Americans hide, steal, and hoard food anticipating a secret binge. After their indulgence they're filled with remorse and shame promising to never over eat again. One of the least discussed and most common eating disorder is binge eating disorder. Binge eating is defined as over eating a large amount of food in a small period of time, at least three times a week for six months or longer. Binge eating, or compulsive eating—as it is more familiarly known—affects more than 20 million people in the United States alone. And yet, we focus more on bulimia nervosa and anorexia when it comes to eating disorders.

In my practice, the majority of my eating disordered patients suffer from binge eating disorder and/or obesity. This isn't to say all bingers are obese or even overweight, because some actually can be of normal weight. Also, not all overweight persons binge eat. And where does food addiction fit into the mix? The biggest challenge is to sort through whether the patient has food addiction, binge eating disorder, or a combination of the two.

The food addict also eats a large amount of food in a small period of time, and like compulsive eating, it comes with consequences that can be lethal, such as obesity, heart disease, relationship issues, body image, and et cetera. The big difference between the two disorders is food addicts crave specific foods that are uncontrollable no matter what attempts they put forth to stop (i.e., dieting, restricting, exercising, et cetera).

I liken food addiction, an uncontrollable craving for high sugar and processed foods, to recreational drugs such as cocaine, heroin, and nicotine. And the food addict needs to consume the sugary/starchy substance in order to function—to feel "normal." In all addiction cases, the substance dependent consumes larger amounts of their drug for longer periods than were normally intended with a persistent desires or repeated unsuccessful attempts to quit—even if it interrupts social, recreational, and family interaction—because the addicted substance takes precedence.

When it comes to treatment for binge eating disorder it is often not about the food but rather about the emotional deficits. When it comes to treatment for food addiction it is about the food—specific foods that trigger the compulsion to consume large amounts of it no matter what the cost. Although binge eating disorder and food addiction share many of the same symptoms, food addiction shares the emotional component of binge eating disorder as well as the symptoms such as obsession with body, weight, mood shifts, closet eating, stealing, where compulsive eating is about the inability to deal with emotions.

I suffered from food addiction and binge eating disorder as far back as I can remember—I just didn't know what it was called. I thought there was something wrong with me mentally. I craved chocolate, doughnuts, chips, and anything gooey and sweet beyond normalcy and I tried every diet under the sun—including diet pills, commercial diet centers, starvation, over exercising, none of which helped me tame the compulsion to eat beyond full in spite of the detrimental consequences, which in my case was obesity.

I wish I knew then what I know now about eating disorders, treatment, and spiritual recovery. Perhaps I could have avoided all the pain and suffering with my weight up and my weight down—an endless battle—until now. Today, I live life without the torture of worrying about getting heavy, craving foods I can’t control the amount of—and spiritually my cup is full. So, if you are one to eat an extra serving, two, or three beyond holidays, birthdays, and long weekend temptations, when you weren't hungry, to the point of devastating consequences that hamper the quality of your life, perhaps you may suffer from an eating disorder such as food addiction, binge eating disorder (compulsive eating) or both intertwined.

My 20 years experience as a clinical psychotherapist, a PhD in addiction psychology, certified eating disorder specialist, certified addiction professional, and national board certified clinical hypnotherapist has not only made me a recognized expert in my field, but also made me privy to understanding the experience of those (and myself) releasing their obsessions with food and turning to their connection with the divine energy (known as God for some)and people.

Photos by Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Balance...

2011-03-04T20:01:00.008-05:00

A day in the life of Dr. Lisa!

I woke this morning at 7:00 to the sound of birds chirping and the sun blaring in through the cracks of the drapes...and my day began.

After morning stretches, eight minutes of weight lifting, and meditation, I jumped on my bike and pedaled down Hollywood beach taking in all the magnificent morning from the glistening ocean, children playing in the sand, to seagulls flying over head. What a magical sight.

Home one hour later I began my breakfast preparations and made fresh blueberry pancakes topped with Greek yogurt. Does life get any better than this? And while the pancakes cooked and filled the air with the most delicious home baked aroma—taking me back to six years old as I recalled my great grandma Baba, who served the most delicious blueberry pie—I smiled. Of course my pancakes are sugar, flour, and wheat free.

While my pancakes cooked I prepared lunch: 4oz of roasted chicken, 2 cups of fresh steamed whole green beans topped with olive oil, freshly squeezed lemon and a pinch of sea salt and ground pepper. Then, I moved on and made my later afternoon snack of sliced yellow apples and 2 oz strips of sirloin steak—all to tote with me to work.

My day is off to a perfect start...

As I ate my breakfast, I began the rush of answering e-mails, writing something for my blog, a few tweets and a hello on facebook.

Okay, time to jump in the shower, primp, and get dressed—and off to an eight hour work day with eight patients to discuss their eating disorders, depression, and whatever life challenge is offered up at that moment.

Ah…not done yet. Once finished working with patients I hop in the car for a twenty minute drive west to teach psychology with a group of awesome students at DeVry university.

Finally, I find my way back home around 9ish at night and take a short bike ride with my husband to catch up on our day—followed by dinner preparations (Broiled Salmon, Sweet potato, tossed salad with olive oil and vinegar) and then back online for more checking on emails, grading student's work, a tweet or two... and yes, finally bed.

Ah...in the life of Dr. Lisa...ya never know what's going to happen.

How do I keep balance? Well, I retire for bed near midnight and get up at 7:00 a.m. every day whether I am on vacation, home, or at a conference. My body is conditioned to expect seven hours of sleep. My food is natural and free of sugar flour and wheat. I exercise an hour daily and make time to pray, meditate, and sit still. I nurture my loving relationships with my husband, sons, and sweet fur child Sage.

Balance is key. I work hard, play hard, and live life as a prayer.

Why Can't I Stop Eating?

2011-02-08T09:32:00.020-05:00

So, you ask yourself,'Why can't I stop eating?' or 'What's wrong with me that I’m eating a huge amount of food—when I’m not even hungry?'

Did you ever consider you may have an eating disorder? Okay, it's harsh to even consider the idea. Nobody wants to be "labeled" with a disorder. I get that. I have binge eating disorder and denied it for years until one day (after gaining and losing and gaining close to 100 pounds) I came to my senses and admitted I had an eating disorder and gradually changed my relationship with food; hence, my journey to recovery began. Was it easy? Certainly not! Was it doable? Absolutely!

Let's face it, change doesn't come easy for most of us and learning we might have a disorder that requires cognitive/behavioral changes is darn right scary. So what does one do? I believe the answer begins by making choices towards a healthy life style. We can hunker down to what is familiar—not willing to budge—or we can step out of our comfort zone and try recovery strategies that may seem foreign at first.

As an expert in eating disorders, I have found answers not only for myself but also for my patients who have binge eating disorder, bulimia, anorexia, food addiction, or a combination of all four. You may wonder if it’s possible to move in and out of binge eating, purging, and restricting—the answer is yes. In fact, it’s not uncommon to dance between a mix of eating disorders.

You may find it interesting to learn, bulimia and anorexia are the eating disorders most familiar, but not most common. Patients often gasp when they learn that eating a large amount of food in a small period of time with little regards for consequences (and not purging) actually has a name and is considered an eating disorder that is more common than bulimia and anorexia. Most of my patients (including myself) have binge eating disorder without purging food. After an episode of bingeing, often the person harbors guilt and shame promising after this last binge they’ll get back to their diet and never engage in volume eating again.

Once my patients get past the fact they have a disorder, and that it actually has a name—binge eating disorder—they move into acceptance and a recovery plan.

So now, when you ask yourself, ‘why am I bingeing', you may want to take a closer look at what's going on in your life? Let's be clear, if you spend the evening hunkered down in a coma-state watching television, and to your surprise realize you inhaled an entire bag of potato chips, you are not automatically a binge eater. A binge eater frets over the fact they lost control over their food and may even fear they can't stop eating once they start and an intense fear of weight gain. Furthermore, it's not uncommon for a compulsive eater to hide their food and binge alone—filled with shame when the binge is over.

The cause and recovery strategy for compulsive eating is up for grabs—with many theories. Some say it is a chemical imbalance and name it food addiction. Some find it is an emotional crisis and bingeing is a way to avoid something bothersome. And still others find it is a spiritual deficit. I say, it's a three-prong problem: spiritual, emotional, and physical.

Most of my patients contact me because they want to lose weight and they tried every "diet" imaginable and still can't stop eating. Eating beyond full is common with a person suffering from binge eating disorder. What is causing this behavior? Perhaps you're sensitive to sugar, flour, and wheat due to a chemical imbalance causing you to crave more and more food, especially from sweet and starchy food choices.

You may have trouble resisting a binge because you suffer from a food addiction and/or an eating disorder. The answer is not simple and it requires a process that involves change in thoughts and behaviors. The first step for you is to get familiar with trigger foods and start weaning off of them. After a binge (or before would be ideal!) ask yourself a series of questions:

1. Was I hungry? When was the last time I ate? If it was more than five hours you most likely were hungry.
2. Was I angry about something? Is there something going on in my life that I feel out of control, anxious, hopeless, and/or helpless?
3. Am I lonely or feeling alone?
4. Am I tired? Did I get an ample amount of sleep?
5. Am I stressed? Do I have too much to do and little time for relaxation and fun?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it may be the first place to address your eating issues. Also, pay attention to the foods you’re eating. Perhaps you are sensitive to processed foods such as: bread, cakes, cookies, flour, et cetera. So, if you ask yourself, 'Why can't I stop bingeing?' or 'What is wrong with me that I'm eating a huge amount of food when I’m not even hungry?', you may have an eating disorder or a chemical imbalance that triggers uncontrollable cravings and volume eating. My suggestion is to seek a certified eating disorder professional who can help you address these issues and move into recovery and quality living.

What is Spirituality?

2011-01-29T12:45:00.016-05:00

What is the experience of spirituality? My patients in treatment for various eating disorders often ask me this very question. The answer is not so easy, especially when spirituality is an individual experience—with no two exposures mirrored.

Treatment for eating disorders is three-fold: physical, emotional and spiritual. Often the spiritual component is missing. Is it important? From my perspective, as a certified eating disorder professional and a food addict in recovery, spirituality is KEY to restoring a healthy balance.

What is the experience like when a spiritual connection is ever-present? For me, it’s a constant intangible companion through trials and tribulations. It’s an awareness that whispers answers to questions often not posed—when everything is dark and there’s nowhere and no one to turn to. Spirituality is the hug from God when you feel alone. It is His strength when you feel weak.True, this “thing” called spirituality is not tangible, but omnipotent when you open your heart and receive it. This infinite power shows no bias and no preference and is available to anyone who seeks.

What is spiritual deficit? When disconnected from spiritual recovery the sun no longer shines and the birds are silent—you drown in despair, so alone gasping for relief—any relief to stop the pain is welcomed. The lack of divine—is an innate gnawing sense something is not right within. To not be in spiritual presence is as powerful as to be—but on an insane track, hiding food in your purse, closet, drawers and filling up to your eye balls with food – stomach distended—dying within and dying without.

Spirituality is a term that is impossible to define because each individual attracts his or her spiritual-self differently. Spiritual sacredness is a personal, internal vision—a part of the self that refers to faith in something greater and more profound than self. Faith is not necessarily in the context of organized religion, but rather as how one perceives their own connection with a force higher than themselves. In the context of this blog, spirituality best fits to an internal exploration rather than to objective reasoning.

Ericson (1996) says it best:

Although I am well versed in the “techniques” and “tools” of psychology and psychotherapy, I believe that these are merely “tools.” The real healing takes place with these tools and the willingness and openness to allow that “power greater than self” to intervene. I believe that to use these tools without a healthy respect and inclusion of the spiritual process is like trying to run a race with one leg. (pp.104-105)

So, what is the experience of spirituality? It is allowing yourself to be open and willing to let your experience take you where your journey directs you—to embrace whatever comes…

Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Ericson Phyllis (1996). “Journey of the soul…The emerging self…from dis-ease to discovery.” Dissertation Abstracts International, 58 (8), 4579B (UMI No. 9542654)

Still

2011-01-26T09:48:00.014-05:00

I spent last weekend alone at the beach house. I painted walked, sat on the dock, swam, read and biked. It was quiet in my mind and around me. Nothing but silence and Sage, my 75 pound German Shepherd who panted and looked at me with a quizzical nod as if to say, 'Well, so what a we gonna do?’ No plans—quiet—still.

I teach psychology at DeVry University and discussed with my students how inundated we are with technology and busyness—constant constant something. We use ipods, iphones, ipads, and everything in between to distract us from present living. Communication has evolved to texts rather than face-to-face conversations or a simple phone call. We multitask in our busyness—talk on the phone, text, listen to music, watch television, eat—all at the same time.

I passed a driver, on my way to my weekend getaway, he was swerving all over the road and driving barely 45 miles an hour. I assumed he was drunk. While I passed his car I glanced in his direction and saw he was bent over in text mode while driving! Busyness—we are buried in the rush to do something at all times to avoid the silence—stillness.

I ask my students to imagine spending a few hours in a room with nothing but themselves. What would you do? Most respond with: I would go crazy or what would be the point. The point is to be with your self quiet to to hear nothing and just be. It is a form of meditating in your wakeful state with no agenda rather than running and hiding from our self.

When quiet long enough you begin to hear more than when you're avoiding silence. You hear the birds sing and feel the breeze against your skin and smell lilacs and jasmine and appreciate the deep orange lilies. You hear your heart beat and become aware of your own breath. When was the last time you focused on your breath? Do you ever forget to breathe? Are you running so fast through life that you don't stop to feel the present moment? Often we are caught between what we did yesterday and what we will do tomorrow—not existing in the space called now.

After a long day of nothingness, late at night I floated in the pool and watched the stars twinkle and the crest of the moon slip behind a cloud as the warm water lapped against my skin. Not far off the waterway meets the sea—dolphins swam by, and out in the distance I heard the hum of boats. I plunged under deep shimmying to the bottom of the pool, gliding as the dolphin might: free—silent—magnificent in the moment.

Yes, I spent the weekend alone at the beach house in silence. It was fruitful. My mind was quiet and peace filled me. I smile as I think of Sage resting, taking deep breaths and exhaling with long sighs; all stretched out embracing our quiet time as much as I did.

Now back home in my busyness I look forward to our next adventure—to return to the dock and take in life through stillness. I am ready to paint, walk, rest, pray, and quiet my mind and all that is around me. I am ready to return to nothing but silence and Sage, without an agenda...quiet and still.

Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Spirituality Inhibited by Active Binging

2010-07-04T16:38:00.010-04:00

Spirituality Inhibited by Active Binging

I discovered working with a small intimate group discussing recovery that Spiritual healing alone works if you aren’t dealing with a chemical imbalance. We all experienced a blockage from our spirituality when we were active in binge eating. We lived in a self-centered world and yet never ended up with what satisfied us. We learned we can’t give of ourselves because we’re immersed in addictive eating blocking the connection to God. In our self-centered world we’re unable to love ourselves—we’re centered in self-hate.

Healing requires a three prong mindset: physical, emotional, and spiritual. How can we heal our bodies if our mind is toxic from our chemical response to certain foods? In turn, if we are emotionally bankrupt how do we find our way spiritually? Can we be spiritually connected when we’re knee deep in a food binge?

I can only speak for myself and the answer is—not totally. Yes, the binge dropped me to my knees begging for relief; however, once the food partially digested I was ready for another binge. What comes first cleansing from the binge or reaching out to God?

At times when I was loaded with sugar I struggled with negative images of God, feelings of spiritual unworthiness and shame, fear of abandonment by God, intense difficulty surrendering and keeping faith, and dishonesty and deception. I believed in God yet had deep spiritual struggles creating a major impediment to my ability to recover from my eating disorder.

This is not to say there were not previous times in my life where I felt a connection to God and a degree of personal spirituality. I still attended weekly Sunday mass intermittently but lost these connections through the course of my eating disorder. In essence, I realized spiritual healing can happen but first I needed to address my chemical imbalance on a physical, spiritual, and emotional level.

Where is Spirit?

2010-02-15T21:40:00.026-05:00

Where is spirit? Where do you find it? Do we all have a spiritual guide? A chapter in my manuscript discusses the impact of the ever presence of strong spirituality. With regards to compulsive eating, some believe without spiritual energy one is blocked from reaching their peak because the noise is too loud – telling you to eat foods that are going to make you sick – yet you eat them anyway because the voice tells you to. The voice that is saying it is okay this one time because you will begin your diet tomorrow or Monday or on some special holiday. Lent is here and it is a time many addicts vow to not eat, drink, smoke or whatever the vice is for 40 days and 40 nights. A promise to cleanse and begin anew.

Father Tom pressed his thumb hard against my forehead mumbling "ashes to ashes – dust to dust" as he left the imprint of a charcoal colored cross taking up most of the space above my eyes and below my hairline. I walked around wearing my thumb print for all to see– ready to take up the cross and repent – and give up something. This year I relinquished salt and sweeteners. To some this may sound simple, for me it is a gargantuan task. I sprinkle salt on everything and sweeteners are soon to follow. How will my spirit take over my cravings. Will they just be lifted or do I consciously give them up? Do I put the focus on salt and sweeteners or on spirit?

I think of spirit like fresh snow draping over tree branches as they dip low in the early morning with bird prints sprawled below; the scent of freshly cut grass mixed with spring Lilly's and sea air; Sage pressing her cold wet nose in my hand in hopes I will pet her soft luscious white coat; a baby smiling and cooing as it looks at me in hoisted position off her mothers shoulder; sitting on the dock with a hot cup of tea after planting fresh daisies below the cobalt sky and bluish gray waters dancing like diamonds sprinkled about. Spirit is everywhere. Everywhere is spirit. I invite and embrace it. Spirit enters and addictions are pushed far back - almost a dream – at least for this moment.

The day after pledging your penance reality sits in. Wanting what you have agreed to give up comes calling. Wondering if you really can go 40 days without your designated "drug." It is easy to say I swear and promise I will give this substance up as the palm ashed cross is securely placed and visible for all to see. But the day after is an entirely different feel. The withdrawals begin to set in and missing your favorite "whatever" comes calling. It is at this point you ask where is my spirit that will lead me to recovery? Where?

Where is spirit? Spirit is here, there, and everywhere – always present – always ready to serve. It requires no cue – it just is. You can't touch it, smell it, or see it, but if you're still enough you can feel it. It is available for everyone whether you are tall, short, big, small, black, white or in between. Spirit has no face yet is in each face. Spirit is here. Is now. Lent is here. I give my salt and sweetener to you higher energy and welcome the freedom.

Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Where Am I Anyway?

2010-01-10T19:57:00.023-05:00

Where am I? I thought I left Chicago behind weeks ago and yet the cold weather seems to have followed me. I enjoyed the crisp windy city for five days the last week of December, knowing I would return to the sunshine state (Florida) where warm weather is promised day in and day out – except now. I have been home for weeks and this weather has not let up. I believe the mind and the spirit control the body and make change. How can I apply this theory to Antarctica weather in south Florida?

I woke this morning to 33 degrees and a wind-chill factor of 22. The air is crisp, rain is falling in sleets, a dark gloomy cast is upon us. Yep, Chicago weather followed me. I am freezing – ran the heat 13 days straight – seems almost surreal as I have not used the heater in years. When I turned it on it smoked the first five minutes resembling the smell of burnt dirty socks.

Now, why did I move from Chicago May 1986? I recall standing on the El downtown Chicago waiting for my train. It was March and blistering cold. I looked up to the heavens and claimed out loud I was moving to Florida in May to never be cold again. To feel the warm air hug me even in the evening hour strolls along the beach; yet, here I am in the sunshine state breaking the coldest streak in 43 years!

It is evident I never did like the cold. My bones ache, I feel down and depressed and I am looking for hot anything to sip on. In fact, chili is cooking in the crock pot as I write. Exercise is foreign these last few days. Last time I biked I was layered in clothes, wearing thermal ware, gloves, and a hat...and wishing for ear muffs, which most Florida people do not even know what they are. I biked to an almost desolate beach. Work is no respite either, my office is an icebox. No heater there –hands are numb writing progress notes.

Even Sage ( my 75 pound white German Shepard) voluntarily went into her house most of the day curled in a small pretzel as far back as she could position herself, which reminds me of myself pressing my body close to my husband who emits heat like an oven. Thank you God – no need for an electric blanket as my husband serves as a personal heater – my 7 hour respite from the cold.

A Florida wimp I am. It is cold, raining, and very dark and gloomy out. I feel the same. I miss the sun! SAD (Season Affective Disorder) is very real. I pray for sun and warmth tomorrow, my sunshine state , as I know it, to hold true to its name, and the world will be right again. I will jump on my bike – ride the beach and feel one with nature. Although I believe mind and spirit control the body, I backtrack when my body is cold. I need warm thoughts to change the outcome. For now, I'll employ the fake it till you make it mentality.

Mindful...

2009-10-31T17:59:00.021-04:00

Mindful...

Today my goal is to stay present. Have you ever tried this? The mind always wants to think about what needs to be done next or what we already did. To focus on the here and now is difficult for most. What makes me fixed on staying present is the chaos around me. Many of my loved ones are experiencing very difficult situations, which encourages me to sit still in gratitude for what I have and am thankful for.

I took a luxurious walk this morning along the Inter-coastal and Atlantic ocean. The view was spectacular. I saw the sun peak out over the purple/orange backdrop on the ocean shoreline. A new day is about to begin. My legs are strong and my energy abound. My fur-child Sage moves with me as if we are one. Her tail swishes side to side – so joyful to be with me out on a walk. She lives in the now.

A person learns they have an illness, let’s say it is a rare disease and they will no longer be able to see. I would imagine for the time left they would be looking at everything with attention knowing soon there would be a sea of darkness. I wonder why not see today as if it were my last view. Or live each day as my last. What would I do different? Who would I want to spend time with? What would I say that had not been said?

Today I practice mindfulness. The dictionary defines mindfulness as calm awareness of one's body functions, feelings, content of consciousness, or consciousness itself. I am totally conscious of my fingers dancing over the keys putting words together. I am told mindfulness is the path to liberation and enlightenment. It is the intense purpose of staying in the now. I get this. For the past two years I had been consumed with paying off my $85,000 student loan. Yes, you read the numbers correctly. My goal was to become debt free.

During this quest it was difficult to remain in the present because I was living for the future of no debt. I had a special birthday this year: 9-09-09. What made it special beyond the cool numbers? I decided two years ago to pay off all my debt including my student loan with Miss Sallie on September 9, 2009. I kept my nose to the grind for two years and not waiver one iota to purchase anything that was not of absolute necessity. I learned to live with less and appreciate the free gifts around me daily.

I accomplished my goal and on Wednesday, September 9, 2009 I wrote my last check to Sallie and enthusiastically dropped it in the mail box on my way to work. I thought I would hear a chorus of angels burst into song. I did not. But what I did experience was a keen awareness of peace and liberation. I no longer am a slave to owing.

So, today I am present. I refuse to think about what needs to be done next or what I already did. I am present with each breath in and out. I am present to the sounds of birds singing and the whispers of the wind as it folds through the palm trees out my window. I am here and now. What makes me fixed on staying present is the chaos around me. Loved ones are at personal crossroads – forced to face difficult situations, which encourages me to sit still in gratitude for what I have and am thankful for.

Photo taken by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

A Runaway Train

2009-08-15T18:48:00.013-04:00

It rained all day today. I started a walk with Sage early this morning and half way noted the sky turned dark and the wind came up out of nowhere. I debated whether to keep going or turn around and head home. I decided to push forward. Not good. After what seemed like a few minutes the heavens opened and the rains gushed. Sage was not happy as her tail pressed between her legs and her ears slicked completely back.

We abruptly turned around in a walk/run pace and headed home. We were soaked. After peeling off my wet clothes and slipping into something dry I began to work on my manuscript on compulsive eating. It continued to rain the entire day and I sat in this very spot painfully making revisions and cutting out paragraphs that did not fit.

Writing about a subject so close to my heart reminds me of days struggling with weight and food. Sometimes I get accused of simplifying the ability to release the obsession to food. It was not an easy decision to make. I cried, bargained, and relapsed for decades before accepting I have an eating disorder. It has been years since I ate simple carbohydrates. I think about chocolate, doughnuts, and thick loaves of Italian bread from time to time, but I know eating them would only pull me back into out of control eating and low grade depression. It is not worth it.

As I wrote and revised I thought about many patients who relapsed and began compulsively eating after a few months of relief. Although each has their own story, they often resemble each other. Often I am asked how do you stop a binge? It is as difficult to redirect thinking as it is to stop a train when it is going full speed. It slowly grinds to a halt.

A binge must be stopped before it starts or it will run full speed out of control until the stomach is full beyond "normal" capacity and shame and remorse for the behavior begins to set in. My questions are: What was going on before the binge? Were you hungry? Did you miss a meal? What did you last eat? Were you tired or possibly irritable and angry? Are you overwhelmed about something? Answers to these questions teach awareness and triggers to binge.

Writing and revising my manuscript reminds me of times when I experienced the questions above. I eat meals no later than 5 hours apart. I prefer four. I make sure I get at least seven hours of sleep and exercise daily to release stress. My food is whole food never simple carbohydrates and always balanced with nutritious foods to keep my body running smooth and ward off cravings.

A patient who relapsed and began compulsively eating was certain she did everything to stay on her healthy eating course. We went through each question and discovered she skipped dinner the day before because she was too tired. The next day she felt she could eat more than her usual meal to make up for the meal she missed the day before. She felt full and fat after eating and proceeded with thoughts of imagined weight gain. Old familiar self-talk ensued. She felt angry, out of control, and foolish for eating more than she needed. This led to out of control eating.

Another patient forgot to take her lunch to work and decided to wing it with fast-food. She intended to take the bun off her sandwich and order a side salad skipping fries. The instructions to the cashier were misunderstood. By the time she got back to the office to eat her food she realized she had the wrong meal. She was very hungry as it was six hours since she ate. She wolfed the food down without thinking: similar to a runaway train.

What is the moral of this story? You must be prepared with each meal never depending on someone else to get it right. I take my meals with me unless I know exactly what I am eating and it fits my food program. This is the part where some get annoyed and call this rigid. I call it lifesaving. I see it as vigilant. I spent too many years suffering with obesity and obsessive eating which is now replaced with peace and tranquility, not to mention normal weight.

The rain is starting to subside and the sounds of birds singing is filling the once steady pound of water against the windows. The sun is peaking out between a few lingering clouds. Maybe Sage is ready to go out and run around in the yard as she easily forgets her fear of storms.

Photos by Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

A Summer Afternoon Swim...

2009-07-26T22:59:00.009-04:00

A lazy Sunday afternoon swim with thunder rolling in the distance is my idea of a perfect setting. The sun is still shinning, yet dark luminous clouds hang over simultaneously. I marvel at how I swam laps with such ease, yet with urgency knowing a storm is not too far off. I am reminded of last year when I gasped for breath with only 5 laps of swimming.

I never was much of a swimmer. As a child, raised on the beach every summer in Wautoma Wisconsin, enjoying boating, skiing, rowing and catching frogs in the pond, you would think I would be “naturally” a strong swimmer. I even lived with my sister Debbie half our childhood summers smack on the beach in our little tent. Sometimes at night we would take a little night swim, but I never strayed out too far.

And as if living on the beach was not enough to make a swimmer out of me, my grandmother graduated with a degree in physical education and taught swimming as well as competed on swim teams. Go figure! Ma (how we addressed her) even lived in the main house near our cottage on the beach. You would think I would somehow absorb her talent and strength as a swimmer. Nope.

So, the question that begs to be asked is why I had such fear of swimming. I have no idea. I have vivid memories of being stuffed in an orange life jacket and feeling confined. I was not comfortable wearing it nor was I comfortable without it. My siblings joyfully swam out to the raft to play "King of the Raft." The goal was to push everyone off the raft and last person standing was king...or should I say queen. My memory of attempting to swim to the raft screamed of fear. I recall paddling and paddling trying to reach the raft engulfed by dark cold water only to approach the huge barrels holding up the raft and peering at the emptiness underneath it. No...I did not want to be queen of the raft. I wanted to be safe on shore eating something sweet and gooey. I had neither energy nor desire to join my siblings.

I was a skinny scrawny kid, always fatigued. I had zero energy. I preferred junk food over real food. I was anemic and was on daily iron drops. Of course I did not stay skinny long. When I hit my teen years I grew quite voluptuous…and then chunky…and then darn right obese. These were the starting years of my on and off dieting, binging, and fluctuating up and down in weight. I have countless pictures wearing an oversized t-shirt covering my shorts. I never wore a swim suit during my adolescence because I was ashamed of my body.

Now here I am 40 years later at my pool wearing my suit and very comfortable in my own body, no longer binging, no longer with weight up or down. It just stays steadily at a nice comfortable maintained weight. I wish I knew then what I know now as I sit at the edge of my pool taking in a lovely afternoon. Well…until the loud piercing thunder shook me out of my daze and inside the house I went. The sky was quickly darkening and a storm was near at hand. Since Florida is the lightening capital of the world I think it's time to back myself inside and finish this blog.

Celebrating and Mourning Simultaneously...

2009-07-04T11:09:00.029-04:00

Happy Birthday America! Today is the Fourth of July...a day worth remembering and reminiscing. Today is the day America decided to become independent of Great Britain. This day represents freedom to make our own rules and be responsible for our welfare.

My day began with sunny, blue skies, white puffy clouds, birds singing. A picture perfect South Florida day! A time for America to remember and celebrate what was and what is. Although a truly glorious day, somewhere someone is mourning. Someone is sick. Someone is losing someone. I think of Mom and recall several Fourth of Julys after she suffered a massive stroke (days before her 64th birthday), I was filled with sadness and questioned how the world could still be moving forward while I was suspended in gripping emotional pain.

The same holds true on this fourth day of July celebration. Even though some of us might be grappling with an emotional, physical, or spiritual loss, the 4th of July must go on. It is no doubt a time for celebration, which includes: picnics, boat outings, Barbeques, et cetera. Of course, with celebrations come foods, drinks and temptations. This is the American way! But...perhaps not everyone is so festive. Many suffer from illnesses and losses. Certainly Michael Jackson's family is mourning their loss. And in my own life I have losses and family members suffering from illnesses and aging.

I can't help but wonder what role food plays in illnesses, losses, and death. Take Michael Jackson for instance. He was a 50 year old icon, weighing in at 112 pounds at the time of his death. It is my understanding he was somewhere between 5-8 and 5-10 in height. In my line of work (eating disorders, body image dysmorphia, and mood disorders) this would be a huge red flag. Did he suffer from a low self body image? It seems evident by his history of plastic surgery and total change in body appearance he did. Did he suffer from addictions to prescription drugs? With all the surgeries and other medical issues he had he was in chronic pain and may have become addicted to prescription medications. I have witnessed in my practice as a certified addiction professional, addictions to medications quite common. Did he have an eating disorder tied in? Maybe. I did not hear anything regarding this; however, he definitely was not of a normal weight and did seem to have an issue with growing up. Perhaps he kept his body frame boy-like to avoid growing up.

Many female anorexics keep their body's girl-like, stop menses, and appear to harbor a flat chest to hide their femininity perhaps to be in control. My Mom did not restrict, she was the opposite. She wore her weight and then some. She ate large portions of high fat, salty foods. Perhaps she grew her body rather than restricted to accomplish the same goal of hiding her feminine side. As pointed out with Michael Jackson, men are not free from eating disorders and/or body image dysmorphia. My uncle, a rather large man, died from cancer. He ate heavy meals, did not exercise, wore extra weight, and may not have been spiritually connected. He died young...late fifties. I believe unprocessed foods play a huge role in healthy minds and healthy bodies. All of my self-hypnosis CDs address the importance of clean eating, exercise, and spiritual recovery.

And so here we are on this glorious day. The Florida sun tucked away for the evening as festivities of 4th of July come to a halt. I wonder, as the last bits of fireworks fall from the sky, sounds still within ear shot, how many close this day with full bellies and empty bellies both rumbling from restricting or binging. Many are alone and lonely, turning to food for comfort...or not. Eating disorders come in many guises. It does not matter if your black or white...or somewhere in between. It does not matter if you're rich or poor...or somewhere in the middle.

Look at Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley, Elizabeth Taylor, Oprah...all rich and famous, all suffered/ suffering from eating disorders and/or addictions of some type. Today, I celebrate America's Independence. I celebrate my independence. I broke away from food controlling me...and now live free. I hope those suffering and hurting today will find independence from pain and sadness...and the loss of loved ones. Life is to be celebrated. America is to be celebrated. Let's wave our flag proudly. We live in a country that offers help and hope to all.

Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Yo Yo Dieting

2009-06-20T20:19:00.014-04:00

When I explain what is really going on with binge eating and food addiction patients often resemble the deer in the headlights look. It is like they are caught! As Oprah often says, "It is a light bulb moment!" Suddenly understanding their up and down weight loss and gain becomes clear. The yo yo dieting syndrome has an explanation...an answer. It's not their fault!

Yo yo dieting is more the norm than not. The other day I was watching a recorded Oprah show (April 30, 2009) interviewing Kirstie Alley and a second person (a non-movie star) Michael Hebranko. Both were telling their heart-felt stories of losing and gaining weight. A story I know all too well. I felt their pain and urgency. Not only do I understand their yo yo diet syndrome, the patients I work with day in and day out share a similar story. What is the answer?

As I watched, Kirstie promised with such conviction she would lose her weight again and owned the "secret" way to drop weight quickly. I sadly shook my head thinking about how many times I promised to lose the weight and that I had the quick weight loss secret too. Kirstie swore she lost 20 pounds in a few short weeks and would reach her "goal" weight come November(which I need remind you she had promised for her bikini debut back in 2007). Oprah interjected, suggesting she might be setting herself up for failure. I (alone watching this taped video) was cheering Oprah for stepping in and recognizing Kirstie's "diet" mentality perhaps being detrimental to her success. Sadly, at no time did Oprah or Kirstie acknowledge abstinence from their drug(s): sugar, flour, and wheat. It reminds me of the addict who promises they will never take another hit, snort, or shoot up again, but without admission to the addictive components, rather only looking from a "will power" frame of mind. I was hearing diet and addiction mentality.

Michael Hebranko was different than Kirstie in that he was not a movie star bearing the glitz and twinkle. He reminded me of one of the first patients I saw in my early days of practice. He was wearing close to 1,000 pounds of weight like Michael. I made weekly house calls (back in the 90's when I was new in my profession) and conducted psychotherapy. He was a delight to work with. He understood sugar, flour, and wheat were drugs to him and agreed to abstain. He understood developing a spiritual connection to something greater than himself was the key. Like Michael, he dropped hundreds of pounds. When he was at a safe place weight-wise we agreed he would drive in for therapy. Instead, he began to binge. Again, like Michael, he put his weight back on. Unlike Michael my patient passed away. He was only 27 years old. Addictions are stronger and bigger than our will to stop using.

Michael, unlike Kirstie, was aware he needed to take one day at a time and practice recovery. He was no longer reaching for the "quick" fix. He was humble and focused. He seemed to have an understanding that certain foods were triggers for him, but I did not hear words of abstinence from these foods, particularly flour. He also recognized a higher power (he called God) as he kept referring to God in the interview and how thankful and grateful he was for this second opportunity to correct his weight. He released 300 pounds. Although he had several hundreds of pounds to go, he was focused on the here and now, working his program one meal at a time with progress not perfection. I think he will make it!

Although I personally never weighed more than one hundred pounds above my ideal weight, I can relate to both Kirstie Alley and Michael Hebranko. When I was in the food I promised I would stop. I too vowed to lose the weight and never binge again. I meant it! After I would drop some weight and start looking good I would fall into a binge. It was not until I realized I had to let go of the addictive foods in order to be free of the obsessions and cravings. It was not a question of will power but rather of letting go of an addiction to specific foods. As simple as it sounds it worked. My weight corrected and I am free of cravings. Many patients I work with also are free from cravings and have returned to their normal weight. I wish I could say they all followed my path, but truth be told, many are on the same ride as Kirstie Alley and Michael Hebranko, gaining weight they lost.

Statistics show about 5% of people keep off the weight they have lost for more than a year. And, those that have the weight off for more than 5 years have a better chance of staying thin. Thank you God I fall into this category! I believe Kirstie is setting herself up for failure vowing once again to wear a bikini in November and rushing to lose her weight. This is diet mentality. I did not hear the same diet talk from Michael. I heard a clear understanding it was a process that would take time. He seemed to understand eating balanced meals and taking one day at a time was the ticket to his recovery. Although I did not hear specific talk about spiritual recovery, Michael echoed some thoughts regarding God. Kirstie did not mention any spiritual understanding. Perhaps this could be part of her missing link. It is not about the food, nor is it about the weight. It is about having an addiction to food. It is about turning to a physical, emotional, and spiritual recovery.

So, as I finished watching Oprah’s interview with two very familiar stories it allowed me to reflect where I had been and where I am today. Their story is my story; however, I am on the flip side of it and live life free of weight, worry, and diet mentality. No more deer in the headlights. The answer is eating free of sugar, flour, and wheat and turning it over to a power greater than our own. This power can be whatever is fitting for each person. It could be God, energy, the sun, et cetera...

Photos taken by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Memories of Time Passed....

2009-05-25T11:48:00.031-04:00

I was up early this morning walking along the beach and feeling so alive and connected to myself and beyond. I have walked this very beach over and over for the past 40-something years and it always tugs at my heart. I have so many memories of where I was and where I am.

Last night my youngest son and I watched old videos we recorded 11 years ago. My have we changed! He was so little with a sweet young voice. My hair was long, blond and flowing. I remember back then thinking how fat I was and yet, looking at the video I was not.

The lesson is to be present rather than thinking about where I was or where I want to be...how about just sitting with the now. Sometimes, even today, I think I am fat or ugly, or some other negative kind of thinking. It would be sad to look at a video 11 years from now and think I looked pretty darn good then...but now do not. On and on that negative cycle of thinking could go. I am okay right now in this very moment. I have all I need and I am able to bask in it.

At this moment, writing this blog, I am looking out at the dock that I painted red wood with turquoise benches. Mom would like the "art deco" look if she were here. It is such a beautiful view. A window she looked out many times herself. The same window Ma (my grandmother) looked out. Both women obese and both women suffered from strokes. I wonder what their dreams were as they stared off onto the blue sparkly waters. Did they have regrets of yesterday or hopes and dreams for tomorrow?

Last night, watching the videos there was one with Mom after her stroke. We (all my siblings) were gathered around her talking and laughing and exchanging quibbles of nothing. It was beautiful to see us all congregated around her. I think about her stroke and how maybe it did not have to be. She was significantly over weight, did not exercise, and ate high fat foods. The "what ifs" start to sprout as I ponder. Would she still be here if she had eaten free of sugar, flour, wheat, and high fat foods? Do I go there in my thoughts? Perhaps not. I need to stay present.

My lesson this morning, while walking the beach I had traveled on hundreds of mornings when life was younger and simpler ( or was it?), was to stay in the now. To be where I am. And where I am, is sitting looking out the window seeing a boat or two passing by, big egrets sauntering by, pelicans diving for a treat... and me experiencing the pure joy of being in paradise.

One of the videos we watched was of a 4Th of July celebration in 2001. We were gathered with dear friends sharing a meal and watched the fire works. Benjamin (my son) had the camera on me and was commenting on how I was breaking my "diet." And I responded so defensively on how it was all worked in my plan. I was still in the diet defensive mode. I did not learn yet that life would be simpler, more spiritual, and the diet clenched attitude would be released. I did not know I would find an answer to my own obesity, binge eating, and food addiction.

As our video movie night continued to unfold there also was footage of our oldest son wearing a great deal of weight. He was darn right obese. Watching me eat clean and healthy for years has rubbed off on him. He is now lean and healthy and moving in a positive direction. Videos can teach us a great deal. I learned to live now but take the nuggets of treasures from what I learned watching me in the past.

I am blessed and fortunate right now. Not last year...and not tomorrow...right now. My body is healthy, thin, and I can walk for very long distances...just as I did 11 years ago...and 11 years before that. The difference is today I don't binge and I don't harbor "crazy" diet talks. The difference is I am free of sugar, flour, and wheat and my weight is "normal" and my thoughts are clear.

Life today is good. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is not here yet. My body is thin and strong. I don't binge. Food cravings are nonexistent. This morning I was up early walking the very beach I had wishes, hopes, and dreams when I was barely 12 years of age. Now, 40 years later I still have wishes, hopes, and dreams but they are not about my body, my weight, my newest diet, or latest binge. I dream of living more in the present and experiencing this beach, this dock, this paradise that I love so.

Photos taken by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Eating Disorders and Certified Eating Disorder Professionals

2009-05-17T16:00:00.024-04:00

Today is one of those glorious Sunday afternoons when the sun is out and the birds are chirping. It is one of those days where the world feels right and excitement, for no apparent reason, looms above. And yet, somewhere out there someone is suffering alone from an eating disorder. Someone is wondering when the binge will end and the weight will be released. That someone used to be me. It is a lonely, scary place to be.

Today I was reading an e-mail from The International Association of Eating Disorder Professionals (also known as iaedp) and learned something I was not aware of. To date, iaedp is the only organization in the world that certifies professional competency to treat eating disorders through its Certified Eating Disorder Specialist (CEDS) and Certified Eating Disorder Specialist-Nutritionist (CEDS-N) certifications (Cumella, 2009). There currently are only 104 CEDS or CEDS-N professionals with active certifications. Interestingly, I am one of the 104 certified eating disorder specialists, and yet there are 923,000 healthcare providers who can offer counseling services in the United States! How could this be? Only 104, or 0.01%, have a CEDS or CEDS-N!

More interesting, to date, there are 642 healthcare providers in the US and Canada who claim to specialize in eating disorder treatment; however, only 104, or 16%, have evidence of their competency to do so through a recognized certification program, the CEDS or CEDS-N (Cumella, 2009). This baffles my mind! Eating disorders are chronic, progressive, and fatal. We need more certified experts working with patients with such a deadly disease.

I read a few years ago that by the year 2015 if preventative measures are not in place we could see 75% of the population overweight or obese. This is a huge number! Think about it, 75 people out of 100 will be wearing extra weight. What will this do to healthcare? What is the answer? I believe we need to move closer to "real" food and further from "processed" foods. Sugar, flour, and wheat, along with high fatty foods seem to be the culprit, especially for us who suffer from eating disorders. And there are plenty of us!

Today, as a provider certified to treat eating disorders, I carry a qualification that few have achieved. It seems unthinkable there are 923,000 healthcare providers who can offer counseling services in the United States, and yet there are only 104, or 0.01%, certified as eating disorder specialists! I think what makes me most uncomfortable is learning healthcare providers are claiming to specialize in eating disorder treatment and yet few have the education, certification and/or authority to do so. The International Association of Eating Disorder Professionals is recognized for certification programs that train and prepare practitioners to deal with a disorder that is growing with each passing minute. Perhaps if the word gets out more and more will sign up to join the certified eating disorder specialists to help those suffering from eating disorders reach a place of recovery.

Although there are many hurdles the eating disorder professional must jump through in order to stay abreast to the ever-changing field of eating disorders, it is well worth the efforts. Every day I am reaching out and helping someone who is suffering as I had. Every day I know someone is dying from this disease. Every day I know I can reach out my hand to another and lift them out of their pain. Nobody has to suffer from this disease. There are answers and help that can take you to recovery. I know...I live in recovery every day.

It is no secret there are millions suffering from eating disorders. As I sit here comfortable in my own recovery on this beautiful Sunday late afternoon I wonder how many out there are feeling alone, binging, purging, or restricting today. I know I will be able to go to sleep tonight with no shame or regrets for having eaten foods that are causing me to binge, crave, or purge. Thank God I never purged with food, but I certainly did my share with over exercising and an occasional bout with laxatives. Just writing the words down makes me wiggle with discomfort. It is hard to believe a decade and a half ago I was really suffering and yet I looked so good on the outside. I was working a program for the most part...but then the disease would rear its ugly head with no warning. Tonight, I will be able to close my eyes and drift off to sleep knowing I am in a good place spiritually, physically, and emotionally.

References:

US Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics. Retrieved May 3, 2009 from http://www.bls.gov/oco/cg/cgs035.htm#emply

Academy for Eating Disorders. Retrieved May 3, 2009 from http://www.aedweb.org/public/results.cfm

Cumella, E. J. (2009). News for Eating Disorders Professionals. International Association of Eating Disorder Professionals. Retrieved on May 13 from: http://www.iaedp.com/

Photos taken by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Chicago Bound...and Back....

2009-05-03T23:12:00.026-04:00

I spent the past few days in Chicago. Today is my Dad's 83rd birthday and he continues to work his empire. I am amazed at his strength, motivation, and continuous vision.

Sitting on the plane with my handsome 20 year old son, headed for Chicago in honor of my father’s 83rd birthday, I found myself sandwiched between my son and an adorable, but severely overweight college girl. I was her...once upon a time. As I was settling into my seat, arranging my carry-on with ease, I realized how difficult it was back in the days when my weight was peaked out at 234 pounds. I am flying Spirit airlines, which is known for great economical prices, but also very small seats!

I realized, snug in my seat, how far my life has come. There was a time I would have purchased muffins, candy bars, chips, and coffee before even boarding the plane just to have my “stash” of goodies for the ride. Today, I still need my stash of food, but the nutrients are quite different. I am toting homemade apple-raspberry muffins and a decaffeinated coffee. A far cry from where I had been not so long ago.

I feel snug no longer worried about my last binge, future diet, or future binge. I have my routine in place, always vigilant regarding what is my food, and what is not: never taking chances. While waiting at the airport terminal, I observed so many scurrying to get doughnuts, coffee, muffins (not my “natural” sugar-free muffins). I could see the familiar urgency and frenzy written over their faces and body language. I wondered if they were plotting the upcoming diet, if the guilt and shame set in, or if they were at the euphoric state we addicts reach on the first bite of gooey chocolate laden treat.

As the plane began descending, I embraced the thought of 3 days in Chicago with my family of origin. There will be parties and dinners to attend, and I will partake in all of the festivities, but the difference will be no flour, sugar, or wheat, for me. I will walk in the morning, strolling near lake Michigan observing the neighborhood mansions for my a.m. routine exercise. I will ring in Dad’s 83rd birthday conscious and present, rather than numbed out on sugar, flour, and wheat. This trip was a friendly reminder of where I have been and where I am, and where I am headed. Life is delicious.

Sitting at the airport on my return to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida I am snug and full of joy. My trip was very good. I enjoyed family and what it represents. I did not dream about foods I was not eating, or wishing to eat, or feeling guilty for having eaten them. I am with my fresh salad, topped with chunks of chicken and lemon knowing another day is closing clean and healthy. I have learned to be prepared for my trips and work my routine. The rest is easy. My father and his siblings are all elderly, but you would not know. They are healthy, vibrant, and still working a strong and prosperous business. I have learned many of my good habits from watching them. And of course some things I have to step away from them…like eating the sweets, breads, and pastas…all a part of the Italian way.

Finding Serenity!

2009-04-25T11:01:00.012-04:00

One of my favorite moments in life is sitting in the "Florida Room" in my Mom's home up in Wautoma,Wisconsin. Early in the morning I love to go out to the room with a mug of hot decaffeinated coffee and sit in the silence. There are always deer and exotic birds that entertain me as I sit and look out. I like to think of this room as the "meditation" room. A place where I can get quiet with my thoughts. A place where I can be in prayer. A place to self-hypnotize.

Yes, I did say self-hypnotize. I find self-hypnosis to be one of the most powerful tools every person has access to. The mind is powerful. I can close my eyes right here in South Florida as I type this piece and go to the "Florida Room" in Wautoma and see those very same deer grazing and walking through the morning dew. It was a glorious day! I felt so serene just looking out. It was that very day I meditated with the morning glory and visualized where I wanted to be years from now. I imagined earning my doctorate in psychology, teaching at a university, and bringing my work to the Internet in a way that could reach everyone. And I did all of the above! Today, I am able to create magical self-hypnosis CD's for those who can not come to my office. It is affordable and easy to do.

I had a patient ask me the other day if I thought anyone could be hypnotized. As I pondered the question for a moment I answered yes, as long as the person is not suffering from brain damage or severe mental illness. I think the big misunderstanding is that hypnosis is losing control over your mind, when in fact it is actually the opposite. Rather, hypnosis is the training of your mind. To be able to get to a relaxed state and redirect your thinking. Over my near decade and a half of conducting hypnotherapy I have seen remarkable results. The mind is an amazing thing...and it will take you wherever you want it to go with a little imagination and creativity.

Often when a patient comes to me for self-hypnosis I ask them to find a place in their mind that brings them serenity. A place that is peaceful and safe. It could be as warm and fuzzy as walking through a field of flowers, or strolling barefoot on the beach feeling the warm sand between your toes, or curled up on a couch reading a good book near the fireplace with a crackling fire warming your feet, or playing with puppies. Everyone has a place or two that brings such joy. Another place for me as a child was taking a nap on the back porch in Chicago with my dog Cuddles. I can remember the smell of the closed in porch and feel the breeze on my skin from the opened windows on a beautiful Chicago summer day. Those were magical moments.

We all have a special place that allows us to embrace pure peace and harmony. And if you can't fine one make it up! You can conjure one up from a picture in a magazine or a place you saw on television. The subconscious mind does not know the difference between real and pretend. It is for this reason you can imagine yourself thin and free of your eating disorder (or whatever concerns you have) and the mind will grab the image, even if it is not real...yet. Dream big!

I knew that magical morning in the "Florida Room" my life was going to evolve even greater than it was. I knew I was going to grow my practice beyond South Florida. Just planting the seed and believing in my work set the wheels in motion. Today, I have realized my dreams and continue to each and every day. Life is magical and promising. I feel as serene as the deer in the woods...living in the now...enjoying the moment. When my day is filled with busyness (and it often is), I close my eyes and go where ever I want my mind to take me. And of course one of my "getaways" is looking out at the wildlife from the "Florida Room" in Wautoma, Wisconsin.

Photo taken by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Patience

2009-04-11T16:12:00.013-04:00

Patience was never one of my strong suits. Two years ago when I was up at my sisters cottages, which have been in my family for many generations, I commented on the beauty of Great Grandma's (Baba) lilies that are sprinkled about and how they are still going even though she has long passed.

My brother-in-law over hearing my enthusiasm and gratitude over Baba's flowers, surprised me the day I was flying home with 6 plants he uprooted for me to take back to Florida. Everyone scoffed at the idea saying these lilies could never grow in Florida soil.

Ignoring the nay sayers, my husband and I got busy and planted all 6 in the ground as soon as I landed and we returned to our Florida home. And...they all died! And then a strange thing happened. A few months after their death green foliage sprouted, but nothing more. Years passed. And today, to my glee I walked by and spotted this orange flower swinging to the breeze.

What a lesson in patience! I am so glad we did not give up and dig the plants out. Releasing weight and recovering from an eating disorder works the same way. Often you want to throw in the towel and just give up, especially if your are worshipping the scale. I know I never had patience to lose weight. I was jumping on and off the scale on a daily basis. Then one day (many years ago) a very wise friend of mine suggested I trust my food plan and turn the rest over to God. Wow...that was a bit much for me. First off, I never thought of my food and weight a God thing. I always thought about it as a lack of will power on my part. But, I thought with a hundred extra pounds hanging on my body what did I have to lose? Okay...I stepped into that one: 100 pounds!!!

I learned a profound lesson. I stopped worshipping the scales and trusted a power greater than me. I put all my attention on what I was eating: weighing and measuring it. I let go of sugar, flour and wheat and turned the rest over to this power bigger and grander than little ole me. And I waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing. A little like Baba's orange lily. I was barely losing a pound every few weeks. I decided to let go of the daily ritual and worship of weighing my body and instead turned to once a month and trusted my plan would work. Some months I dropped a pound. Some months nothing. Other months I got a hand full of pounds off. But I stuck to leaving the scale to the power greater than me. Slowly and steadily my body changed, my spirituality strengthened, and my confidence soared. I like to think of it like healing. My body, mind, and spirit were healing.

My little flower could not have come at a better time. Today, 11 years ago, April 11, 1998, my Mom had a massive stroke at 4:00 a.m. I got the call from my Dad and by 8:00 a.m. I was in the car headed to Madeira Beach. We were suppose to have a lovely Easter Sunday together; all the preparations were waiting in the kitchen, even the little basket for Benjamin who was then 8 years of age. Life changed in that moment I received the call. I believe my Mom would be here today if she had understood eating disorders and obesity. My mission is to carry the news to those living and suffering from eating disorders...

So, here I am today reflecting on patience. I attach my weight loss success and my peace with my addictive foods to patience. Just like my little orange flower, blowing in the wind, I have sprouted my own pedals. I too needed a little soil, watering, sun, and love. I am grateful to have a piece of Wautoma, Wisconsin (Baba) in my back yard. It was worth the wait just as letting go of 100 pounds was worth the years it took. Today, I am at a healthy normal weight...never worried about what to wear or what to eat, just sticking to weighing and measuring my food, not eating sugar, flour, or wheat, and turning everything over to a power greather than me. Life is good.

Photos by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Sitting on the Dock: Pelican and Me

2009-03-14T16:09:00.022-04:00

I am sitting on the dock with a mug of tea watching this very pelican and wondering if he(she?) was thinking about anything in particular. He looked so comfortable, like he didn't have a care in the world. As for me, I was close to comfortable, sitting with my hot tea on the very same dock I have sat on a million times for the past 40 years. Tons of memories flooded in. Like the time when I was on the edge of becoming a teenager and I helped my grand parents move into this very beach house.

I remember the first time my feet touched Florida soil and I knew I was home. I had no doubt this was where I belonged. It took many visits until I actually made the move and left my entire family in Chicago, as I was Florida bound. I was in my late 20's. Back in my formative years, I sat on this very dock in my bikini trying to tan and feeling fat. I was 115 pounds! I was already obsessed with sugary foods and dieting. I was already sneaking into my grandmothers chocolate coconut patties, mango marmalade, and whatever old candy bars I could find in the fridge that my grandfather had. I remember eating a candy that was on its way to turning into rubber. This did not matter...it was chocolate and it was sweet...and it made me "feel" better when I ate it.

I had no idea I was entering into binge eating disorder, an eating disorder that is still up for discussion in the DSM-IV-TR (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th ed.). I also did not know I had food addiction, which is why when I put the sugar and chocolate into my mouth I instantly felt better; at least for a moment. The question that often arises from my patients is whether food addiction and binge eating are the same thing? I too asked the very question over and over.

What is food addiction? Food addiction involves engaging repeatedly in episodes of binge eating regardless of adverse consequences, while in aggressive pursuit of a mood change. Hmmm...sounds to me like they are intertwined to some degree. What is this aggressive eating? Well, it is the compulsion, an irresistible impulse, to eat a specific food(s), especially in an irrational state or contrary to one's will. The urge is about ingesting this food no matter what.

What is binge eating? Binge eating is eating a large amount of food in a small period of time regardless of the consequences. In my experience as a certified eating disorder specialist and as a recovering food addict, binge eating and food addiction go hand in hand.The Compulsion is always present in the disease of addiction, whether it is cocaine, vodka, or a chocolate bar. My research has led me to know the food addict has a metabolic, biochemical imbalance, which results in the characteristic symptoms of addiction. The foodaholic is obsessed with food (usually sugary, high fat, starchy foods) ingesting large quantities of these foods to destructive and/or negative consequences physically, emotionally, mentally, and relationally.

Given the definition of binge eating and food addiction, it is apparent they are intertwined in most cases. Could a person binge eat and not be a food addict? There are many eating disorder specialists that would agree one can be a binge eater without having a food addiction; however, an acctive food addict always binge eats. I am a food addict and I binged. Yes, binged...past tense. I am still a food addict but I choose to live life in recovery rather than in the disease. There is a price for my sanity: not eating sugar, flour, and wheat. It is a small price, given I have no cravings or irresistible urge to eat sugar, flour, and wheat. It is a small price to pay when my body is a "normal" weight and I am not going on and off of diets? It is a small price to pay when the insanity and chatter in my mind is completely silent, peaceful, and full of serenity.

So, as I am sitting on the dock, watching this pelican while sipping on my mug of tea, I think I figured out what my new feathery friend is thinking about. He has been watching the water intensely and as soon as he saw the little fish in plain view he made a beeline towards it and scarfed it up. He was waiting for food...but not the way I used to sit on this dock thinking about food 40 years ago. I was thinking about sneaking into the fridge and the pantry to steal the foods and then figure out where to hide it so I could eat it fast and furiously...and alone. My new buddy (the pelican) was looking for food as fuel...nothing more...nothing less. He was eating for survival. So...I sit here, comfortable and at peace for I truly have not a care in the world. Life is good!

Photo taken by Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Addicted to a Twinky?

2009-03-07T22:06:00.021-05:00

I was reading an interesting article tonight on emerging trends in addiction treatment (Price, 2009) in the Monitor on Psychology. What I found interesting was the emphasis on new treatments for illicit drugs like marijuana and cocaine and licit drugs such as Xanax, Vicodin, and Oxycontin. Of course these addictions and some of the new treatments are not new to me as an addiction professional; however, what is interesting is the attention abuse of these drugs receives.

What about those suffering from addictions to food? The response to the triggers is almost identical. Whether the addiction is cocaine or a twinky, there is a loss of control, physiological tolerance, and psychological dependence occurring when the specific stimulus is ingested (or snorted or mainlined) resulting in negative consequences in basic life functions. These negative consequences include, relationships with: family, social situations, intimate relationships, spiritual or God, the law, health, and work life.

This sounds so dramatic when you think in light of a twinky! Could a person do something drastic if they have an addiction to sugar, flour, and wheat? I did! I remember some really foolish things I did when I was into my trigger foods. I remember one time driving over to the west coast of Florida in my 8 cylinder, 5 speed Mustang convertible with the top down, wind blowing through my hair...my 75 pound dog and then young son accompanying me, while eating a taco salad, shifting, and driving on a major highway weaving in and out of traffic. My reckless behavior certainly could have had severe consequences. I was using my hands to eat and my knees to steer the wheel, down shifting when needed, letting go of the wheel with one of my hands. This was definitely loss of control and possible disaster, just to get my foods in.

In my situation, phsyiological tolerance was evident. There was a time I was eating enough food to feed an army of people in one sitting. I ate large volumes in a small period of time not caring about the consequences...until I finished...and then the shame and bargaining set in. I never thought about how damaging this large volume of food might be on my health...but I did think about my weight and the fear of gaining until I would "fix" the thought with the next "diet" I was going to go on. It was a vicious cycle much like the drug addict experiences.

As for the psychological dependence, I feared life without these foods in it. I could not imagine never eating a chocolate bar again, or a soft piece of bread, or a Ritz cracker. These foods were my friends, my buddies, my life. The sadness and fear that overcame me was frightening and unthinkable. I did not want to go out socially. I would much rather be home with my stash of food and the television. The food took the place of relationships. As for God or a spiritual recovery, the path was blocked. How could I let goodness in when I was feeling so awful about myself. I was filled with shame and a low self worth I can barely believe was the me I know today.

Today, as I read the article on the new emerging trends in addiction treatment, and though happy to learn of new treatments on the horizon, I am saddened the food addict is struggling alone and most often not recognized or acknowledged. Treatments often neglect the addictive piece associated with binge eating disorder and compulsive eating. When patients come to me for the first time I see such sadness and fear in their eyes. By the time they leave they have hope to hold on to. They learn they are not alone and although they may suffer from this disease and that it is a chemical imbalance, it is not their fault. What they hear is so foreign yet validating. Perhaps one day soon I will pick up the Monitor on Psychology and read about the new treatment for food addiction!

Photo taken by: Dr. Lisa Ortigara Crego

Lenten Season and Abstinence

2009-02-26T16:49:00.050-05:00

When I think of tulips the first thought that pops into my head is Easter and spring time. The second thought is Lent. Ash Wednesday (yesterday) was the start of the Lenten season. Wikipedia (the free encyclopedia on-line!) defines Lent (in some Christian denominations) as the forty-day-long liturgical season of fasting and prayer before Easter. I don't know about the fasting part, as I am not nice when I am deprived of "my" food: Ask my family!!!

When I think of the meaning of Lent I can't help but slip into my many memories of vowing to God I will never eat chocolate, sugar, and flour again. I would sit in the pew, teeth clenched, promising I will never ever binge on sugary, chocolaty foods. I promise! Only to fall a few short days into my penance.

Well, yesterday as I looked around the church, sitting comfy in my pew, I let my mind wander (while Father Tom was explaining the meaning of Lent...about how this is the season of preparation for the believer—through prayer, penitence, alms-giving, and self-denial...for the next 6 weeks until Easter) and began to scan the room assessing what each person might be struggling with. Perhaps some were giving up alcohol, or maybe drugs, sex...or some behavior or thought they were agonizing over. I recall when I would give up this, that...or the other...and make it for just a few days before succumbing to my food addiction.

As far back as a small child I was giving up candy for Lent. And even then I could not string but a few days together before diving into some gooey treat. I remember Mom catching me with a huge bag of candies I had bought from The Penny's Store only a few days after giving up sweets as part of my penance. Mom was furious and put the bag in the third drawer of the dresser in her bedroom. The very same bedroom and dresser I found the cough medicine with a terrifying picture of a scull on the back side reading: Poison! Although the picture was frightening, as I was barely 5 years of age, it did not stop me from guzzling down a good portion of the bottle. I was attracted to the sugary cherry taste...and ended up in the hospital to get my stomach pumped.

Okay, I digressed...back to the candy in the third drawer in my parents bedroom. I would sneak in their room every day to steal a piece (okay..several pieces!) always feeling God was watching me and I would be punished for this. But, I could not stop myself. This "thing" would come over me and I HAD TO HAVE it. I think of it like a run away train...no way is it going to stop for quite a distance.

I racked up years of unsuccessful attempts at giving up sweets for Lent until one year (about 13 years ago) I gave up chocolate, sugar, and white flour for Lent. For real! No cheating. No taking breaks on Sunday. No excuses. I abstained the entire forty days and forty nights and weekends too! After about the first three days I began to feel absolutely fabulous. I was free of cravings, low self-worth disappeared, mood swings corrected, body aches became nonexistent, not to mention weight began to release. I had dropped several sizes in the weeks of abstinence. And I was at a good weight to begin with as I had "dieted" off nearly 100 pounds.

I remember driving up to the West Coast of Florida to spend Easter with Mom and my then little boy Benjamin, feeling absolutely fantastic and "swearing" I would not break my abstinence simply because it was Easter and I could (according to the church). This particular Easter Mom had the really good stuff: Cadbury Easter Eggs (dark chocolate). How could I possibly go an Easter without a Cadbury Easter Egg? That was it! I dove in and ate the entire weekend...and went on for quite a few years before giving up the sugar, flour, and wheat for good.

It was evident to me yesterday that I have come a very long way from those many Lenten seasons of the past. As I sat in the pew wondering who had eaten what, or drugged with their last drug, or smoked their last cigarette, I smiled within and thanked God that I no longer had to sit with a clenched jaw thinking about what "substance" I had to give up; but, rather was grateful for how far I have come, able to let go of the sugar, flour, and wheat...not just for the Lenten season but for years and years. Furthermore, I have been able to help many others do the same through self-hypnosis and psychotherapy. I recognize my growth and witness their positive changes as well.

I left the church feeling strong and healthy and good about myself. As I made my way back to my car smiling at others while they were responding with smiles I thought were extra big, I pondered to myself on how kind and loving their nods were and extra big smiles they so generously gave. That is until I got into the car to examine my ashes on my forehead and realized the Deacon had "got" me again! Every year he seems to put the biggest, darkest cross of ashes on my forehead almost taking up the entire space. I guess the mark is to humble me and wake me from my stoic place.

Photo taken by: Lisa Ortigara Crego

Giving in to Food Addiction...

2009-02-21T15:45:00.029-05:00

As I gaze at this picture I took a few months ago I remember thinking how the sun rising looks similar to the sun setting. Is it a beginning or an ending...only to be a beginning once again? Somehow, my mind managed to relate this thought to successfully giving up addictive foods only to fall back to binging on sugary and flour foods, and then to give them up again. A continuous cycle like sunrise and sunset.

A dear friend of mine, who I admire and respect, fell off her program eating free of sugar, flour and wheat after years of leading the way for many food addicts. At first, I felt heaviness in my heart: an ending. But...then I thought about myself and the times I fell off my path and succumbed to binge eating. Although they were dreadful times, I learned and grew from each experience beyond my wildest imagination.

You see, when you are eating non processed real foods and your weight is "normalized" there is this sense of glorious mastering (beating) a chronic, progressive, and fatal disease. You begin to forget where you were, only focused on where you are: your success. Today, at times I might embrace this almighty knowing because I am 100 pounds lighter and hundreds of people come to me for advice...and then the unthinkable happens: your mentor falls. It's like an ice cold splash of water smack in the face. It is a reminder that this disease does not go away, it is only masked with clean eating, while lurking in the background is the disease wanting to resurface.

But is this the end? No! It is only the beginning. Just as the sun rises and sets and then rises once again. Every fall brings an incredible surge of erecting. I would not be where I am today if I did not crash many times. Father Rookey (a wonderful priest I know) told me once, "Out of bad comes good: Always." He spoke these words with such conviction as he looked straight into my eyes.

Out of bad, comes good: Always! Hey, look at Oprah...another mentor of mine (and probably yours). She too struggles with this insidious disease. She inevitably will turn bad into good. It is destined. But for today, she is struggling with her weight and addiction to food. Food addiction knows no bias. It does not matter how rich or poor you are, educated or uneducated, if your skin is black, white, or brown. Food addiction is a chemical imbalance that often comes with weight gain and even obesity. Statistics show more than seven million Americans suffer from Binge Eating Disorder (BED), which often is perpetuated by food addiction (chemical imbalance).

I read in Oprah Magazine (March, 2009), What I Know for Sure section, "66% of American adults are either overweight or obese." In my own research I learned that if Americans don't make a positive change in their eating and exercise 75% of the population will be overweight or obese by the year 2015! This is not astounding to me as my pager rings several times a day with someone reaching out for help with their eating disorder.

Yes, my dear friend and mentor is in a dark place. You could say she is the sun going down. But tomorrow is the birth of a new day, a new beginning. She will climb out of her darkness and blind us all with her light. Out of bad comes good: Always!

Photo taken by: Lisa Ortigara Crego

Valentines Day!

2009-02-14T11:04:00.007-05:00

As I was taking a wonderful walk this morning, listening to the birds singing…the sky as blue as blue can be…and flowers blooming, I was thinking about what Valentines represents to me today, versus years ago before I understood my food addiction. In the past, chocolate for sure was my first thought with Valentines. And, I think it still is. The difference is I don't "act" on it now. I just think back fondly...sort of like an old lover. You could say I romanced the chocolate for sure. In fact, just looking at it makes the brainwaves tingle just as a hard core drug addict would.

The chocolate in the photo represents a drug to me, yet we would not have a holiday (like Valentines) with a photo of a line of cocaine as part of the celebration…at least not legally. Yes, chocolate is an illegal substance for me. Sort of a sobering thought isn't it.? How could something so sweet (no pun intended) and innocent wreak such havoc in my life. The answer for me, is I have a chemical imbalance and when I put chocolate, sugar, flour, and wheat into my system I can't stop. Something clicks in my brain and I start to volume eat. I learned after falling many times that I can not cure this addiction, but I can live a life in recovery. Just like the cocaine addict can not have one little line for old times sake because she/he will jump right back into the illness from one little snort.

So, what does Valentines mean to me today? It means total gratitude. My body is nearly 100 pounds lighter than its highest weight. I am clear in my mind. I am loving my bike rides and walks as much as I loved the chocolates (okay...not quite...but close!). I am able to help hundreds of people through this chronic, progressive, and fatal disease. I am able to have "healthy" relationships. The price of giving up decadent chocolate for my life back is definitely worth all the preparation and vigilance I put forth every day to stay clean.

I am thankful and grateful. Happy Valentines to all of you! May your day bring you love, peace, and joy.

Tribute to Mom...

2009-02-07T21:30:00.041-05:00

Today, February 7, 2009 marks the seventh year since my Mom's passing. Time does go on, I have learned. This morning as I was walking with my dog Sage I was thinking about my Mom and remembering all the good times and the not so good times.

My Mom was a rebel (at least that is how I saw her). She danced to her own tune. Heck, her license plate said: WET BAR. Need I say more! She raised and bred German Shepherds, showing them all over the United States. She no doubt had the most beautiful German Shepherds and won many accolades with her champions.

In fact, if Mom knew about my dog Sage, she would greatly disapprove because she is a White German Shepherd, which breaks all the rules (her rules). I like to think of my Sage as an Angel dog...sent from above, as she came to me shortly after my Mom passed. And what a story it was. Of course, I will save that story for another time.

Anyway, as I think about my Mom and her life I have come to accept why she was the way she was. My Mom lost her father to a heart attack when he was only 42 years old and she was an adolescent, which is a delicate time in life to begin with. Shortly after, she met my Dad, who lost his Mom in his young adulthood. My Mom's father was wearing belly fat (at least all the photos indicate this) and could stand to lose some pounds. My Dad's Mom died of a bowel obstruction and all her photos show her considerably overweight. My Mom had a massive stroke when she was only 62 years of age a few weeks before her 63 birthday ( on the eve of Easter) and passed away four years later at the age of 67. My Mom was 5' 4" on a good day and weighed over 300 pounds. All three early deaths (Mom, Grandpa, and Nona) maybe did not have to be.

Where am I going with all of this?

I fought weight most of my life from adolescence on. At times I was a hundred pounds over my "normal" weight. Up and down I went. I think it was my Mom's weight that prompted me to focus on my own health and weight. I believe it was her weight that shortened her life. I began battling my weight as a teenager. I believe today I have an understanding about weight and eating disorders as a result of my Mom's life and my genetic line. I also understand we don't have to take our gene pool as the written law. We can change it!

I learned for myself that I could make choices and live my life in a healthy manner, or...I could struggle forever. I decided to change my thinking. I believe in the power of the mind. I believe we can be anything we want to be. I decided to put my energy into learning about the subconscious mind and making a shift. I found hypnosis a great tool to assist with the changing of the mind and ultimately changing the relationship with food; hence the weight corrected.

My weight is now "normal" and I feel the freedom of not eating out of control. I began my journey feeling thin in my mind, to visualizing (imagining) myself thin, to "be" thin and ultimately act thin. My food choices slowly changed and sugar, flour, and wheat were eliminated. It was a process, and I definitely prescribe to progress not perfection. In time...slowly and steadily, my weight corrected, cravings disappeared, and I became quite happy with myself.

On this anniversary of my Mom's passing, I think about what if Mom would have caught the blessing I did, and she ate clean and healthy. Would she be here today? Who knows! I know I can't go back and do the what ifs...but I can live in the now and learn from what she did. My sisters (3 of them) learned this too. Although we all work our eating differently, we all three are very conscientious of eating healthy and keeping our weight down. For this, we owe to our Mom who unconsciously taught us what not to do.

Photo taken by: Lisa Ortigara Crego

Biking in January!

2009-01-24T09:38:00.026-05:00

Today, I was biking along the shoreline of the Atlantic ocean in sunny South Florida. I felt enormous gratitude! Here I am in the most beautiful setting while others are really cold somewhere out there.

I was recently in Chicago (see photo!) and it was 26 degrees below zero! My face almost fell off! And now...here I am peddling along the beach with the temperature nearing 80 degrees. How great is that! Today I witnessed many cloaked in little tiny bathing suits knowing somewhere out there (Chicago!) there are many bundled up in their multi-layered clothing.

As I was pedaling I was wondering how I would be able to keep my exercise in tact if I lived up north. Here in Florida my goal is to exercise 6 out of 7 days a week. While in Chicago, I was not able to meet my goal. As I am peddling along the shoreline, with seagulls keeping me company, I wonder how others fare living in a cold climate. As I pondered this thought, I went back in time when I did live in Chicago. Around this exact time of the year (mid-January), after the holiday festivities came to a halt, and my body was up a good 30 pounds from eating from Halloween until my New Years resolution, I would fall into a deep depression until April when the sun resurfaced and the pale gray slated skies disappeared. Some would call it Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Perhaps they were correct.

I don't have those "dark" days here in sunny Florida like I did when I lived up north. It was one winter back in January of 1986, standing on the platform waiting for the El train, when I decided no longer would I give in to another winter of cold. It was a cold and blistery day. I decided out loud that I had enough...I was moving to Hollywood (Florida that is!). And in May of 1986 off to Florida I went and never looked back.

Often in my past history my weight would fluctuate 100 pounds up and down. My last year living in Chicago was one of those times where I was able to control my weight to some degree. Although my eating disorder was flourishing even then, I was able to hide it (weight wise)because I was doing so much walking living in the city. Although I did not exercise regularly because of the cold, I was walking to catch a bus or a train every day several times. In addition, I was taking the stairs (at De Paul University) rather than the elevators. I was trying to eat clean for the most part and then would succumb to a binge on the weekends. Back then, I did not know about food addiction. I thought I was weak-willed and that I did not know how to "do it right." Now of course I know different.

Today, I know I am a food addict and there is no cure for food addiction, only recovery. I work my recovery every single day, whether I am here or in Chicago, or at my little beach home on the west coast. Eating sugar, flour, and wheat is not an option. Not exercising for long periods of time, is not an option. Today, as I rode along the shoreline of the Atlantic ocean I smiled on the inside and the outside all at the same time. I suppose onlookers might have thought I was a bit "touched," but I did not give it a care. I am free of food addictive behavior, my weight is "normal," and I feel spiritually balanced. All worth my efforts of vigilantly working my program.

Some say they could not eat the way I do, or exercise regularly; but, I say it beats being in Chicago freezing my you know what off and wearing an extra 100 pounds. Today life is centered and balanced for me. How about you? Is your life centered and balanced? How do you work your exercise program in the winter? Are you still pumped from your New Years Resolution? I want to hear from you!

Photo taken by: Lisa Ortigara Crego

A Sunday Walk Along the Beach...

2009-01-11T17:17:00.015-05:00

Today was one of those incredible days. I took a long walk along the beach and was in total awe at the magnificence of the sea. With each step I was able to give thanks for all my blessings that continue to flow into my life. I remember a time when walking was so difficult for me. I remember a time when my inner thighs rubbed together causing blisters because my weight was nearly 100 pounds more than my body could handle.

This very spot on the beach brings back so many memories. I have been walking this very beach for nearly 40 years. I remember the first time when I was barely 13 years of age. This was the beginning of my preoccupation with food. I thought I just did not have "will" power. Now I realize it had nothing to do with will power and everything to do with a chemical imbalance. I did not know back then that I could not tolerate sugar, flour, and wheat. All I knew was that I had uncontrollable cravings and never seemed to fill up. I thought there was something wrong with me because I had no control over my food.

Today, as my feet felt the warmth of the soft sand and cool water as it lapped up to my ankles, I felt so free. Free from the pain that comes from actively eating addictive foods. I am in such a different frame of mind compared to those yesteryears. Today, I practice active recovery from food addiction. I eat my three balanced meals at the same time each day and a metabolic snack, and I am good. I don't need anything more or less. My body is able to operate at an optimal level and all guilt and shame is completely wiped away. My body is of a "normal" weight, and on and off dieting is no longer a part of my life. Instead, I adopt a healthy lifestyle, which includes, walking, biking, meditating, playing, praying, eating healthy "real" foods, and tyring to stay spiritually balanced.

Today was one of those incredible days that you wish you could bottle up and have it forever. I am grateful and thankful for the beach today, and to be able to walk with no strain. I am blessed with a healthy body and a healthy mind. Life is good! I am thankful...

Photo taken by: Lisa Ortigara Crego

Christmas in Florida!

2008-12-25T18:59:00.014-05:00

Christmas day is about to come to a close. What a glorious day! We celebrated our annual Christmas Eve party last night. Always a gala event in our home. The house was filled with music, laughter, hugs, and tons of food.

As our party was winding down, requests for foods to take home began to pour in. It made me think of parties in the past when I would never offer anyone food because I wanted it all. I would eat and eat, and eat some more. In fact, when I gave up sugar, flour, and wheat many years ago, I was amazed to learn my family did not eat the "goods." I did! I would eat every bit knowing I was going on my "diet" on January 1.

Of course January 1 would come and go, but I did not start my new way of eating because I reasoned with myself that it was a holiday and I deserved to eat. Why not! I could start tomorrow. And of course tomorrow never came. Before I knew it Valentines Day was creeping up and certainly I could not start my way of eating until the holiday for "lovers" passed. And chocolate was my greatest love! But...promises to diet soon faded. I would reason with myself. It made perfect sense to wait until until Lent (good Catholic girl I am) before launching my diet. And of course on Ash Wednesday I would always wait (to get my ashes) for the latter part of the day so I could have my last hurrah with whatever I would be eating.

One Lent season I had an awakening! I decided to give up sugar, flour, and wheat for 40 days and 40 nights. I promised God none would touch my lips until Easter morning. Oh my! It was SO hard. I had the worst headache known to mankind. I thought I was suffering from an aneurysm. I had to lay in a dark room in absolute quiet. I could not even move my head. It felt like it weighed a million pounds. Every fiber of my being was hurting. For a minute I thought maybe God really wanted me to eat the sugary/starchy foods, and this was His sign. Nice try I heard Him whisper!

Soooooo...I continued to move through Lent without eating my beloved foods. I did it! I went 40 days and 40 nights, and after the first 3 torturous days, I was reborn. I felt unbelievable! I knew I was on to something big. I knew this was the way I should be eating. I had no cravings. Not one urge to eat sugary, starchy foods. It was a miracle! And to top it off, my weight began to drop slowly and steadily...until Easter morning came. I deserved to eat the Cadbury Easter Egg(s)! It was one of my Easter rituals...you know...open it and drizzle the goo on my tongue, down my throat, and just feel the sugar rush to my head. And that particular year, my Mom had bought special dark chocolate eggs. And...I began to eat the "goods" again...and again...and again.

It was many Christmases and other holidays before I "got" it. I remember going to a 12-step meeting looking for the answer and they presented almost exactly what I had done on that Lent so many years ago. I liked the idea...but not that much. So...I let more than a decade go by eating my way: dieting and binging, followed by dieting (which was clean eating except I allowed myself to have whole grain flours, and "gray" foods). But...I could never make it more than a few weeks before succumbing to yet another binge and slowly but surely my weight began to climb. Out of sheer fear I did find my way back to that 12-step program. Thank you God! Today, I am at a healthy weight! Last night (Christmas Eve) I was so reminded of where I used to be as I was packing up the "goods" for my guests. I was happy to see every sweet, gooey treat go.

Today, on this glorious Christmas day I woke up clear headed and free from cravings and free from guilt. I do not need to make a New Years resolution to give up sweets and processed foods like I had for so many years. I am in a good place. I have this big grin on my face (for real), and am filled with such joy knowing I carried on business as usual, even though it was a major holiday, normally food infested. Off to bed I go abstinent one more day. Life is good!

Photo taken by: Lisa Ortigara Crego

The Doctor is Human First...

2008-11-15T10:54:00.006-05:00

I was just talking to a patient the other day and she was asking me who Dr. Lisa turns to when she is not in the office practicing. The question caught me off guard. As the days progressed I continued to ponder the question. Who do I turn to? I am human first, and then Dr. Lisa. Yes, it is true I spend a good deal of my life working with patients with eating disorders and mood disorders. And, when I am not listening in my office, I am teaching at a university. When I am not teaching or practicing I am working on revising my dissertation (Spiritual Recovery from Food Addiction) for the public audience. I retitled my manuscript: In God's Hand...The Long Journey: A Spiritual Recovery from Food Addiction. No doubt, recovering from food addiction (or any addiction) is a life-long journey.

It is a life-long journey for me as well. Although I have devoted my life to helping others, and I feel like I am in a balanced and centered place, I am human first. So...why is the patient's question, "Who does Dr. Lisa turn to?" still lingering? It always goes back to I must remember I am human first. There once was a time I was struggling with my weight (100 pounds to be exact) and I had no where to turn. I did not understand why my eating was so out of control. How could I weigh 135 pounds one moment and then 234 the next? Up and down with my weight...from 20 pounds to 100 pounds, back up to 50 pounds, down 20...and on and on it would go. Until one day something clicked and I got it. To date, I have released 100 pounds and have maintained this loss for years and years.

Yes, I keep a "normal" weight, and cravings are gone, and it appears as though I am really in a good place. With that said, make no mistake, I am human first and definitely not out of the woods. It is a daily journey. Yes, it is true I do not eat sugar, flour, and wheat, and it seems as though I am skipping along just fine. And...for the most part, I am. But...in all honesty, I do have my days where I wish I could be like everyone (who ever that might be!) else. I wish to eat a chocolate bar, or a piece of cake, or something indulgent. But...the fact of the matter is, I am a food addict. There...I said it. The doc is a food addict. What does that mean? It means I have a chemical imbalance. If I eat certain foods I can not stop eating. I do not have a thermostat that indicates I am full. I will eat and eat...and yes eat some more. I don't know how to eat a piece of cake, only the whole cake and then some.

So...back to the question. Who do I turn to when I am not working in my practice? I could not fine one simple answer. The saying, "it takes a village to raise a child" fits nicely. It takes a village to keep me clear and balanced. My village is built around: God, my twelve-step program, my sponsor, my walks, prayer, mediation, my patients, my students, my family, and my old fashion personal journal I have been keeping since the age of 13. As I was pondering my village, I thought about how great it would be to share my journal with anyone out there feeling they had nobody to turn to when they wanted to eat...or not. So...voila! My first blog is born! I want to share my day to day life with you. And I want to hear about your day to day life. You are not alone...and now I am not alone. I have my anchors: God, nature, prayer, meditation, my sponsor, a twelve-step program, my personal journal, and now you. Thank you!

Photo taken by: Lisa Ortigara Crego